Help How to stop obsessing about past mistakes?

[BlessedOffal]

Life altering mistakes in particular.

Almost everything reminds be about these certain major, related mistakes that I made, and I freak out several times a day. It started this summer when I realized the extent to which I'd messed up. It took me a long time to see.

I understand what I need to do in order to correct the course of my life, but how can I stop obsessing about having been so stupid in the past? I'm late 20s.

 

[alfie]

Life altering mistakes in particular.

Almost everything reminds be about these certain major, related mistakes that I made, and I freak out several times a day. It started this summer when I realized the extent to which I'd messed up. It took me a long time to see.

I understand what I need to do in order to correct the course of my life, but how can I stop obsessing about having been so stupid in the past? I'm late 20s.

i can totally relate... i have made mistakes that drastically altered the course of my destiny... all i can do right now is accept reality and move on... very difficult to do but there's no other choice if i choose to live... i realized what works for me now is to recognize that if i look at the extent of my problems too much, i will quickly get overwhelmed... so i choose to live in the moment and live life step by step... it definitely eases the burden to some degree...

 

[Nem]

My biggest mistake was getting involved with a sociopath fuckin asshole. Holy fuck did that ever ruin my freakin life

Peace/hugs

 

[BlessedOffal]

My biggest mistake was getting involved with a sociopath fuckin asshole. Holy fuck did that ever ruin my freakin life

Peace/hugs

This is what started things going to crap for me. It's so massively unfair people like this exist. How do you keep from thinking about it, if you do? Sending love your way <3

 

[Return2Dust]

My biggest mistake was getting involved with a sociopath fuckin asshole. Holy fuck did that ever ruin my freakin life

Peace/hugs

I had a child with one. Real treat trying to divorce a sociopath.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Have you tried meditating? Supposedly, a good source of unease comes from our own thoughts. They can overwhelm us and bring us down. Meditation is supposed to be like an exercise to stop overthinking. Maybe you should try it?



Personally, ive given up against fighting ny thoughts but maybe you still got a shot lol

 

[BlessedOffal]

Have you tried meditating? Supposedly, a good source of unease comes from our own thoughts. They can overwhelm us and bring us down. Meditation is supposed to be like an exercise to stop overthinking. Maybe you should try it?



Personally, ive given up against fighting ny thoughts but maybe you still got a shot lol

This is a really great idea. Thank you for bringing it up! It hadn't even crossed my mind to try this out. Even if it's just temporary, I'll take it. I hope I have a shot too lol

 

[Nem]

This is what started things going to crap for me. It's so massively unfair people like this exist. How do you keep from thinking about it, if you do? Sending love your way <3

I really don't know how to stop thinking about it, sometimes I can and other times it's impossible

Peace/hugs

 

[LuzurPhagget]

This is a really great idea. Thank you for bringing it up! It hadn't even crossed my mind to try this out. Even if it's just temporary, I'll take it. I hope I have a shot too lol

No problem. There's lots of different frequencies out there (even a happiness one) and reading the comments on those videos, it seems to work for a lot of people! I think I'm too autistic to have it work on me though lol

 

[CFLoser]

I've been fighting against this too, especially recent problems.

I think the most healthy approach is acceptance first, and then trying to tackle the problem. Meditation is a tool that helps me a lot.

For the more recent things that you still have a hand in changing, I find those to be harder to cope with. Meditation helps a bit but not enough. Maybe that's just me though.

 

[Mort]

I know my biggest mistake was being born i know not the first one to say it . But thats how it looks from my end i hey the felling that my folks were not yo happy about me popping out. As they all ready had my sister she was 3 when i appeared. They remember all her first mile stones like her first world her first steps on so one . But you ask them about my first mile stones and they say cant remember where it happened. But they remember when i had bin norty or show them up when we were out and they love to keep reminding me of it even now . 40 plus years after it happened they make it sound like it onley happen yesterday . All so how many times they had to run me to the hospital as my manufacturing went a bit wonky before I was born. They make sound it was my fault that i had all these problems and was upsetting my sister to . So you see even now i have the felling that i was not wanted like I just got in the way things.

 

[BlessedOffal]

It's difficult to sleep on a schedule because I can't close my eyes and actively try to fall asleep and usually have to distract myself somehow.

Me too. I sleep every other day on average it seems, just in time to become tired enough to crash. Thanks for the good words. Maybe acceptance is like a grieving process and requires a lot of time to get to where it doesn't feel so raw and painful.

 

[Bluefish]

Its veryy difficult to break the obsessive cycle. All the mistakes that affect you every single day. Its mental torture. Sorry ur going through it too

 

[Mr2005]

I wish I knew. Stops me sleeping sometimes and I just want to make it stop

 

[Rachel74]

My therapist told me to write them down. Then burn them. They are the past and no longer relevant. It works to a degree.

 

[BlessedOffal]

Its veryy difficult to break the obsessive cycle. All the mistakes that affect you every single day. Its mental torture. Sorry ur going through it too

It seems I need to do something extreme in order to get out of my head, like chasing a proper adrenaline rush. Did that yesterday and it gave me relief all night, so maybe I should just live dangerously forever? Lol

My therapist told me to write them down. Then burn them. They are the past and no longer relevant. It works to a degree.

Did you ever try it? Sounds a bit new agey for me but I think I'm open to try anything at this point. Thanks!

 

[I screwed up]

For those having difficulty trying to sleep be cause of obsessive thoughts abt the past which I suffered from as well, what helped me was to put on ear phones while sleeping n listen to something spiritual , some spiritual speaker u may remotely agree to ... I m an atheist too but u may find some yoga guru or mystic u don't mind listening to , in India we have tons of them , I just try listening to them n it helps block out other thoughts till I fall asleep. Just my exp. May work for some of u guys.

 

[Davout]

I find it terribly difficult to overcome my regrets. They even haunt me in my dreams, now. I get no relief from sleep, even.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I really relate and wish I knew the answer. I guess time and letting time pass can make the guilt somewhat less depending on the individual...but if there was a way to fully stop it I wouldn't be here today because my most life altering mistake happened 6 years ago.

I find it terribly difficult to overcome my regrets. They even haunt me in my dreams, now. I get no relief from sleep, even.

I so relate. Sleep used to be peaceful for me now it's just nightmares of the past. So sorry your going thru this too! I see you just joined welcome to SS!

 

[Its time its time]

Always be mindful of your mistakes (forgetting totally is wrong) and don't repeat them.

 

[mediocre]

They debilatate me to the point where I completely shut down and can't move forward. Instead of learning from my mistakes I'm defined by them.

 

[Taki]

People sometimes frame this as "living in the past", but the consequences are still with me in the present and weigh on my future. I have fucked up my life and there is no fixing my bad decisions or their consequences. In fact my future has been destroyed and, unless I want to accept a later life of poverty and isolation, I'm better off dead.

As I've said here before, I choose to kill myself not because I'm against life, but because I believe strongly that life can be good. By ending a failed life I can uphold that principle for others Soon I will hang myself.

 

[BlessedOffal]

Since asking this, I've found ways to cope. At night time anyways.. One poster mentioned listening to spiritual talks on YouTube.

For me, it works. I get to listen to another person ranting and babbling and talking half nonsense half fullsense and it calms me down and puts me to sleep.

 

[Moonicide]

I'm sorry you're living with regrets, love. Many of us do... I try not to think about it and distract myself on a daily basis in order to avoid those emotions. I stay away from the things that trigger me, and if I do have to be around something triggering I try to limit my time. One thing that has helped me the most is creating new memories. Or at least attempting to. I just try my very best to not sit and think about every single thing that did go wrong, and while I will be ctbing, there were a few little things in my life that did go right. Didn't make my life sustainable by any means, but there were a few things that were good.