Help how to stop being so socially paranoid?

[hyacinths]

i have a really big problem when it comes to making and keeping friends. there's always a part of me that things im annoying them or that they like other people than me (and, even if they do, its ultimately nothing i can change or fix). but It gets to a point where i stop participating in relationships with others because of how paranoid i get. i hate feeling like im annoying and would rather just not have any friends. how do i stop feeling like this everytime i hang out with other people

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I used to have this problem too but I realized that for the most part, people generally care way more about themselves than they do about you. If you're making friends with non judgmental people then they're not going to get upset or annoyed just because you make a few mistakes, if anything they might even feel endeared towards you and if they're truly good friends they might even want to help you however they can. It can be hard to find people like this though. Hope that helps.

 

[rationaltake]

It's not easy but I made a conscious decision to accept things at face value and not second guess everything.

 

[Manaaja]

I have a severe social anxiety I suck at keeping friends. And making them. Online it's much easier, but offline it's really hard.

If you were annoying them, they probably wouldn't hang out with you in the first place. As long as a person doesn't bully me or do anything evil, I would still want to be friends with them. I wouldn't want to stop being friends with a kind or nice person. I had a neighbor give me an hour long speech about mathematics on one day, and then on the next day take me to library and give me another hour long speech about mathematics. Now that was boring. I'm pretty sure that whatever you say or do isn't that dull!

I've heard that other people have insecurities too. So maybe they are thinking whether they are being boring or annoying. So maybe the people think that you're great and they're bad.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I feel the social connections I make are function of how good do I feel and If i am not suffering atm. It would be easier for you to interact with people when having healthy brain chemistry imo. Try taking taurine, It is aminoacid and nutitional supplement with low price. I find it helpful for anxiety, but I also take many different supplements. Sorry for so bald try at giving you panacea for everything but I do not like being given vague instruction so I just want to say: Try that.

I also take lithium orotate 15 mg/day, glycine 750 mg/day, zinc, magnesium, d3, and omega 3 acid complex.

It is something I do for a week now , and I feel much better. I had one dip in mood, but otherwise I do feel normal.

This is something I found and posted on recovery. Before supplements I tried: Soirituality, working out, socializing, psychedelics, meditation, exercising, cbt and antidepressants (caused me to go into bipolar mania and made me unable to enjoy orgasms). It works for now.

 

[AtMostOkay]

I used to have this problem too but I realized that for the most part, people generally care way more about themselves than they do about you. If you're making friends with non judgmental people then they're not going to get upset or annoyed just because you make a few mistakes, if anything they might even feel endeared towards you and if they're truly good friends they might even want to help you however they can. It can be hard to find people like this though. Hope that helps.

Yes, this. Most everyone is myopic in their awkwardness, think little of others, don't often notice. "People don't think about you like you think of you." Having said that, my default setting is to assume people think I'm weird, annoying and needy. And I am all of those things, but merely on occasion. Probably true for many of us.

 

[BornofDust]

I used to have a major issue with this. It's still kind of an issue but I've been learning to not let it get to me by remembering that most people are focused on themselves more often then not instead of you. And if people do treat you like an annoyance or nuisance or even bully you, that says a lot about them and not you tbh.Those types of people usually are emotionally immature and don't know how to communicate or deal with their own emotions hence them treating you like crap to compensate. In that case , I would cut them off out of respect for yourself.

You are a lot more likable then you assume. Your probably the friend everyone is looking for. You just need to see that for yourself and steadily develop a higher self esteem. Or at least a more truly accurate assessment of yourself. For( at least for me ) those assumptions of how others possibly viewed me was masively based on strong self hatred which I'm honestly still working towards. Remember that a) people are more focused on themselves then anything and b ) People who do talk and treat you like a nuisance have their own problems and are simply using you as a Scapegoat for their own issues to make themselves feel better.

Easier said then done I definitely understand but practicing self patience plus everything I just said should be able to help. Hope that all of this was helpful towards you !

 

[forgotten15]

I am sorry you feel this way. I totally get you because I feel the same.

I am always so self conscious around other people and always stress myself thinking about how they perceive me, maybe they have a bad opinion about me or think im weird or annoying etc etc. I had a lot of insecurities growing up so i know i will always be like this.
I think that knowing what type of problems i have ( depression, suicidal thoughts, no friends) makes me afraid that others think i am a weirdo or that they could sense i am not like them "normal".
I wish i could give you a piece of advice on how to stop this feeling and not stress about other's opinions but I can't. I think that once you have this type of thinking you never fully outgrow it. There will always be the insecurity seed somewhere in your mind, ready to make you feel like this.