Help How to resist the urge to sacrifice children

[Insomniac]

I'm a young adult generally considered attractive and honestly, finding a husband wouldn't be much of an issue for me.

but due to the culture I live in most men immediately lose interest in me when I say that I'M NOT BRINGING KIDS INTO THIS WORLD.

finding a husband would be a quick fix to my issues because he'd just provide for me and our kids and I'd be settled (my culture is okay and encourages women to be housewives).

But I rreallydon't want to sacrifice a human being just so that I can gain more stability in life. As I advance into my life, it becomes more and more clear that I can't work due to anxiety issues and so I might end up getting married...

and have kids. which sound horrible to me.

I need support and encouragements so I don't go down this path. I don't want to use my children as a payment to my husband for taking care of me.

it feels like human trafficking to me and I greatly resent my parents for bringing me into this mess. Life is like a freaking ponzi scheme where you need to bring in more humans to sacrifice if you want relief from your own pain.

 

[Victoria]

I totally took the title of this thread another way… my bad.

 

[Insomniac]

I totally took the title of this thread another way… my bad.

sorry for the clickbait lol. But it's technically not one

 

[OceanBlue]

Go with rational logical solution. Child-free men exist, some may be OK with adoption; it may take a bit longer to find them. Hope you find a decent one.

 

[puppet_nihilist]

The very fact that you're thinking this way, thinking about the potential harm you're doing by bringing kids into this world is something deeply empathetic and selfless.

Life is like a freaking ponzi scheme where you need to bring in more humans to sacrifice if you want relief from your own pain.

Totally agree. Also, you won't just be responsible for your kids if you had them, but since they would have their own autonomy and are more likely to adopt a natalist mindset themselves (at least statistically speaking) they might also reproduce. Think about how deep this bloodline will course through this earth like cursed, hot blood that keeps on flowing without drying up. You'll be responsible for a large number of people about let's say three generations down the line. They will have their own complex lives and troubles to deal with. At some point the chance of a suicidal person or a criminal emerging from your blood is almost certain. In the end though, I value personal liberty more than anything even antinatalism. So in the end you can and should do whatever you want with respect to your rights and your liberty. Just tried offering support and encouragement but do what you think is right, come to your own conclusions.

 

[Makko]

You live for your own sake, not for your children's sake. If you think having children is the best life strategy for you, have them. They'll grow up and work their own things out.

 

[logan]

Having children is a very big responsibility.
If you don't want to have children, I think it's right to say so clearly.

And if you change your mind later, that's fine when you're still very young.

 

[lofticries]

Don't have children if that's not what you truly want. If shit hits the fan you, your husband, and children might all end up miserable. Also you have no way of knowing that your potential husband will be good to you all through out your life. At least when there's no kids involved you can leave with no strings attached. Child free ppl are hard to find but I think childfree men should be easier since they don't have as much pressure or a biological clock ticking inside them.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Sacrifice teens or young adults instead ! It's almost the same, but slightly less frowned upon.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

I'd rather kill myself than bring anyone into this shithole just to end up as damaged up as I am.
Have some fucking decency.

 

[Insomniac]

Have some fucking decency

was this necessary?

 

[deepinlimbo]

Tell Satan it's not okay to sacrifice kids…
we have the NSPCC and our pagan days are long gone now.

Jokes aside though, you can find people who don't want children, not everyone does. Although I don't know what culture you are part of so perhaps there is a greater emphasis on raising children and having a family which I guess makes things harder. But you have to put your Health first and think of your own well-being or else how would you ever be able to look after and see to your children's Health?

maybe once you feel better you may be okay to have children? You have to be happy at the end of the day. Im sure someone will be happy just to be with you and not have the worries of parent hood.

but a good husband would also support your wishes either way and might even be able to share the responsibilities of childcare more if he knows how you feel?

hope everything works out okay for you. Don't know if I've been much help. Didn't just want to make a silly joke also and not at least try to help. Look after yourself :)

 

[RockBot]

I totally took the title of this thread another way… my bad.

Ha! So did I. I was like W - T - F?

 

[PaxAmerica]

I totally took the title of this thread another way… my bad.

Me too. I was sooo worried

 

[suicidesheep31]

I think our primary urge is to get our DNA through ages but feel bad about that.... I don't have clues about it. I find it more than not selfish to assume that you don't want a child. Some men accept it. Other not. One of my friend clearly said that she doesn't want children and she has a husband. Don't stop to look for a partern. Try maybe someone who already has children. Hugs

 

[PapaSuicide]

I think that who should decide about children is the woman, she who will carry for nine months and will have changes in her body. People are happily married and childless.

 

[motel rooms]

I love the title of this thread

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm a young adult generally considered attractive and honestly, finding a husband wouldn't be much of an issue for me.

but due to the culture I live in most men immediately lose interest in me when I say that I'M NOT BRINGING KIDS INTO THIS WORLD.

finding a husband would be a quick fix to my issues because he'd just provide for me and our kids and I'd be settled (my culture is okay and encourages women to be housewives).

But I rreallydon't want to sacrifice a human being just so that I can gain more stability in life. As I advance into my life, it becomes more and more clear that I can't work due to anxiety issues and so I might end up getting married...

and have kids. which sound horrible to me.

I need support and encouragements so I don't go down this path. I don't want to use my children as a payment to my husband for taking care of me.

it feels like human trafficking to me and I greatly resent my parents for bringing me into this mess. Life is like a freaking ponzi scheme where you need to bring in more humans to sacrifice if you want relief from your own pain.

Hello, while I understand and agree with the idea of not wanting children it's possible at least a few women actually want to have children to have a child rather than to assure they have a home and a husband. I'm sorry your culture has such a narrow option for women.

 

[All Things Must Pass]

You live for your own sake, not for your children's sake. If you think having children is the best life strategy for you, have them. They'll grow up and work their own things out.

Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins.

 

[Insomniac]

You live for your own sake, not for your children's sake

lol

In theory it sounds good but we've been programmed to feel deeply guilty if we fail our children, or to feel emotionally attached to our own kids and desperately want them to succeed.

So as much as I'd like to follow your advice, I can't because I'll most likely end up feeling suicidal over their misery.

 

[LastOfDays]

You live for your own sake, not for your children's sake. If you think having children is the best life strategy for you, have them. They'll grow up and work their own things out.

I get that lots of people here may have a reduced sense of empathy due to their current situation and/or due to their life story, and that may apply to you too (and to myself, tbh), but even then you must know that this is some really messed up advice.

 

[hʚll]

you're aware that you 're condemning an innocent soul to a life of suffering and injustice. you know it's a selfish choice.

i don't think you need our help to decide.

 

[Makko]

lol

In theory it sounds good but we've been programmed to feel deeply guilty if we fail our children, or to feel emotionally attached to our own kids and desperately want them to succeed.

So as much as I'd like to follow your advice, I can't because I'll most likely end up feeling suicidal over their misery.

I see. You're not too far gone then.

I get that lots of people here may have a reduced sense of empathy due to their current situation and/or due to their life story, and that may apply to you too (and to myself, tbh), but even then you must know that this is some really messed up advice.

Plenty of empathy to go around. Sympathy not so much.

 

[Insomniac]

I see. You're not too far gone then

unfortunately. I wish I was a psychopath sometimes, but I'm just an empathic bitch and it's useless in this world because nature only favours cruelty.

 

[PapaSuicide]

I went in limbo to help people get out, when they got out, they stepped on my face and left me there. People are essentially selfish, it's part of the preservation instinct.

 

[pymander]

ooof id marry you in a heartbeat. id never want to bring children into this nightmare world. this is hell.

 

[4eyebiped]

I believe most cultures, to a degree, expect children since it is programmed in us to create them. I have read dating profiles of women self hating because they felt unwanted due to medical issues preventing them from having children. That is how strong that pressure is for some and I hate that any women has to feel less valuable because of not wanting to or being unable to bear children. I for one do not have any children and absolutely do not care to produce any. I do not hate them, I just do not want them. There is a small pocket of us out there, both men and women. Just wish it was easier for us all to find each other.

In short, for those that do not want them, or cannot have them, you are just as valuable. Producing a child takes zero skill and zero character and therefor isn't much a system of judging value. Don't let culture and/or douchbags guilt you over it.