How to remove your SI while planning to die by gun shot to the head

[TheHallowAutist]

i was just wondering, whats the best way to Suppress or even remove my survival instinct while still having enough muscle control to use and position a gun ? i was thinking of using either a perscription opiod painkiller i have or weed but im open to other suggestions as long as im not unable to shoot and position a heavy shotgun so major muscle relaxers are probably not a good idea for me

 

[locked*n*loaded]

If I were going to utilize this method, I might do several, maybe dozens, of "dry runs", whereby I'd stick an unloaded shotgun in my mouth and get comfortable squeezing the trigger. When I wasn't doing dry runs, I'd imagine myself utilizing this method and all of the steps involved, like loading a shell into the gun, picking up the gun, slowly moving it towards my mouth, inserting the barrel into my mouth, thinking about last thoughts I'd like to think about, moving my hand nearer to the trigger, placing my finger on the trigger, and finally squeezing the trigger. I'd play the entire scenario out over and over in my mind. I'd do all of this to the point where it would become second nature to me. Then I'd wait until my life went further down the shit hole to the point that every single bit of hope that still resided in me was completely gone. Then I'd go through with the "wet" run. But, that's just me.

 

[day]

If I were going to utilize this method, I might do several, maybe dozens, of "dry runs", whereby I'd stick an unloaded shotgun in my mouth and get comfortable squeezing the trigger. When I wasn't doing dry runs, I'd imagine myself utilizing this method and all of the steps involved, like loading a shell into the gun, picking up the gun, slowly moving it towards my mouth, inserting the barrel into my mouth, thinking about last thoughts I'd like to think about, moving my hand nearer to the trigger, placing my finger on the trigger, and finally squeezing the trigger. I'd play the entire scenario out over and over in my mind. I'd do all of this to the point where it would become second nature to me. Then I'd wait until my life went further down the shit hole to the point that every single bit of hope that still resided in me was completely gone. Then I'd go through with the "wet" run. But, that's just me.

This is percisely what I was doing before getting rid of my firearm cause' I just don't prefer this method. It got to the point where I used to panic when doing dry. runs and it felt like SI was strong but then it turned into what I thought was definitely going to be my method and I was at peace with it.

Getting rid of my gun was truly an awful mistake as all other methods are so much more complicated.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Getting rid of my gun was truly an awful mistake as all other methods are so much more complicated.

They really are, aren't they?

 

[Arcitect]

I was thinking, maybe play a little russian roullette? Try loading a few magpull dummy rounds in mixed with a few live ones. That way you'll never know which one is the real. If you pull the trigger and no bang, then just eject the round and pull again.