minamin
Member
- Jun 3, 2021
- 22
Greetings all. This is my first post on this site, but I've lurked here for about a monthish before making an account.
Like many other people on here, I've had my fair share of issues, and I'm currently flipflopping between CTB or really trying to get better. I've always been pretty not-well in the head since around 2015, but for the past two years it's just progressively gotten worse and worse. My issue is I really want to get better, but I am absolutely terrified of getting help. I cannot for the life of me open up to others about my own issues and I don't think I could do it even if I paid for the service like with a therapist or psychiatrist. That, or in the .0001% chance I actually say how I feel, I'll get thrown into a psych ward because my actual thoughts are very not good (and I've heard so many horror stories like that!!).
Of course, going to therapy isn't the only way to start mental recovery, but I don't really know what else to do. I am very fortunate enough to be in a financially stable household, have friends, make some money, have hobbies I enjoy, take decent care of myself food-wise, etc., that other people do not have access to. Of course, there are plenty of things that could be better, but I think that generally the life I'm in is decent and isn't the source of the problem so much as my brain being the source of the problem. By all means I should be happy, but I am just constantly miserable; the main things I struggle with are extreme depressive thoughts and the occasional bit of intense unfounded jealousy with very particular people (i keep these things internalized, i don't want to lash out at people because of how I am).
So I feel like the only solution I have on the table for myself would be to go to a therapist/psychiatrist; mainly because I could be prescribed medication that would help my mind get itself in order. I know medication can't magically fix me, but I do kind of see getting medicated as a "last resort" in that maybe it's the one thing I haven't tried that can help. But again... really scared want to open up to actually get this help.
So I was wondering, how could I recover like this? Is there something else I'm missing/should try? Should I try to force myself to go anyways so I can get a prescription for something (and possibly risk getting thrown into a psych ward depending on how much I say, whoops)? What helps all of you that I might not have listed in my life?
If you've read to the bottom of this loooooooong post, thanks. If you can offer any advice, that would be great, but you don't have to. Have a good day all!
Like many other people on here, I've had my fair share of issues, and I'm currently flipflopping between CTB or really trying to get better. I've always been pretty not-well in the head since around 2015, but for the past two years it's just progressively gotten worse and worse. My issue is I really want to get better, but I am absolutely terrified of getting help. I cannot for the life of me open up to others about my own issues and I don't think I could do it even if I paid for the service like with a therapist or psychiatrist. That, or in the .0001% chance I actually say how I feel, I'll get thrown into a psych ward because my actual thoughts are very not good (and I've heard so many horror stories like that!!).
Of course, going to therapy isn't the only way to start mental recovery, but I don't really know what else to do. I am very fortunate enough to be in a financially stable household, have friends, make some money, have hobbies I enjoy, take decent care of myself food-wise, etc., that other people do not have access to. Of course, there are plenty of things that could be better, but I think that generally the life I'm in is decent and isn't the source of the problem so much as my brain being the source of the problem. By all means I should be happy, but I am just constantly miserable; the main things I struggle with are extreme depressive thoughts and the occasional bit of intense unfounded jealousy with very particular people (i keep these things internalized, i don't want to lash out at people because of how I am).
So I feel like the only solution I have on the table for myself would be to go to a therapist/psychiatrist; mainly because I could be prescribed medication that would help my mind get itself in order. I know medication can't magically fix me, but I do kind of see getting medicated as a "last resort" in that maybe it's the one thing I haven't tried that can help. But again... really scared want to open up to actually get this help.
So I was wondering, how could I recover like this? Is there something else I'm missing/should try? Should I try to force myself to go anyways so I can get a prescription for something (and possibly risk getting thrown into a psych ward depending on how much I say, whoops)? What helps all of you that I might not have listed in my life?
If you've read to the bottom of this loooooooong post, thanks. If you can offer any advice, that would be great, but you don't have to. Have a good day all!