Help how to prepare my bf? should i leave a note for him?

[mirlnder]

ok so, i'm almost there, but the only thing that is holding me of is my bf, i love him so much, but i cant stand life anymore.

i really dont want to hurt him, i mean im going to ctb which is going to hurt him but i dont want him to feel too bad.

how should i prepare him? should i finish the relationship and just go? should i leave a note explaining everything? i just feel like shit bc im leaving him behind, i want him to be ok so im trying to make him happy before my departure.

 

[SketchedOut]

I'd say that a good bet could be blaming your mental health. say that you suddenly started getting flashbacks to some event, and because of those flashbacks, the idea of a relationship is making you extremely uncomfortable again.

i feel like this would not only help you end the relationship without outright burning the bridges if you happen to fail, but it would also warn him that you're going through a rough time, which could make him more understanding of the whole situation.

 

[riamu]

it'd be better to leave a note. people tend to blame themselves after someone kills themselves but if you can tell him post mortem that it wasn't his fault then he'll feel less guilty than if you don't leave any note at all. if you're planning to leave a general suicide note then i'd say you should also make a separate one for him telling him how much you appreciated him, if he's that important to you then i think you should let him know

 

[puella]

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You're obviously such a loving person. You deserve better from the world.

I would just make sure your boyfriend knows how much you love him. That's really all that matters, the way you do it is less important.

 

[StalkedByDeath]

Depending how serious your relationship is, my honest opinion is that you should discuss with him how you feel if you haven't already. While I 100% support the right to die, I'll be ctb soon myself, it should be a last resort. If your boyfriend is holding you back, hold onto that reason. Until it's not something that's in your way there's hope that you can fight it. My wife gave me 4 amazing years of life that I never expected when I met her, despite the pain I feel constantly...

 

[FuneralCry]

It's a personal decision deciding whether to leave a note or not, but leaving one could mean that those left behind are less likely to be left with as many unanswered questions if they have some sort of explanation. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I know there are a lot of varied opinions on this, but I tend to agree that a note can help those you leave behind. It sounds like you want to be mindful of their feelings, so I think a note might be a good idea for you. It may also help bring you some peace, knowing that you have done what you can to soften the blow.

It's important to understand, though, that no note is going to make him feel better. It will provide context and some answers, but it won't ease the pain. Nothing can really properly prepare those who love us for the grief of our ctb. I believe in the right to suicide and support people's decision to do so. And yet, if someone I loved killed themself, I would be grief-stricken. I would understand, yes, but I would be sad. Imagine the feelings of those who don't understand suicide.

So, in writing a note, remember that your words can't alleviate their sadness. I'd recommend just providing some context and letting them know it wasn't their fault. Perhaps thank them for infusing some love and light into your final days.

Best wishes to you. I will keep hope that the love and strength you find in your relationship might be enough to sustain you so that you can find peace in life again someday. But I also understand that isn't always possible.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

If you want him to hurt less I would probably break up first. If youre going to CTB while youre still together it doesnt matter what you write in your note theyre probably still going to place some blame on themselves. Create some distance beforehand if you want it to hurt less for them imo

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't believe in suicide notes. You can't make him feel better and most likely any note will make him feel worse no matter how you word it.

Getting to the heart of the matter suicide notes are done so the suicidal person can vent or try to make themself feel better.

 

[Worndown]

Leave him the best note ever. Explain your situations, feelings and regrets. Lay it out for him. Honesty the whole way.

 

[iamsofkntired]

Yes please leave him a note tell him that you loved him and there's nothing he could have done to stop it and it's your decision and it's what you want , tell him that you want him to move on and live cuz you know he's gonna be something and all