How to not let desire to CTB affect habits

[meetapple]

Sometimes I get so exasperated by the problems in my life that I become sure that I want to CTB. I then neglect my habits telling myself that it doesn't matter because I will CTB soon. I will binge on food or not brush my teeth. Then I don't CTB and I am regretful of neglecting my habits. Is there anything you can tell yourself to make yourself follow through on the discomfort of habits despite being sure in your mind that you will CTB soon?

 

[8evergo]

yes that's exactly how I think when I buy something then I think I'll do a ctb anyway only when I do it like this I love my body I always take care of myself and if I go to the ctb I'll go well-groomed
and when i have an appointment i notice it even if i commit ctb on the same day

 

[Julgran]

Sometimes I get so exasperated by the problems in my life that I become sure that I want to CTB. I then neglect my habits telling myself that it doesn't matter because I will CTB soon. I will binge on food or not brush my teeth. Then I don't CTB and I am regretful of neglecting my habits. Is there anything you can tell yourself to make yourself follow through on the discomfort of habits despite being sure in your mind that you will CTB soon?

This kind of death spiral of habits versus CTB seems to come from a lack of expectancy of life improvement. I'm there as well

 

[nys]

Idk if this makes sense but if I were you and I thought I was going to ctb I'd want to make my last days as nice as possible, so instead of neglecting all my habits i'd still do them. For example i'd brush my teeth bc I'd feel cleaner and I wouldn't binge eat bc I'd feel uncomfortable after that and I wouldn't want to be uncomfortable if I was going to die soon, since I'd want the small remaining part of my life to be as comfortable as possible. Idk if that makes sense but that's what I'd do

 

[Mixo]

I've made this mistake before, and I think it's understandable when you're in such deep distress, you truly slide into that mindset of "this is it so fuck it." But yes, it's good you know just how destructive that can be and how easy it is to underestimate the difficulty in actually CTBing. The aftermath of making destructive choices because you're figuring it won't matter soon can be pretty devastating, and so is the strategy of actively making your life worse, in hopes that you'll be driven to CTB. I stand by my opinion that that approach almost never works to eliminate the survival instinct.

As far as trying to curb this temptation, I would only offer that it's okay to let yourself slide into the black hole of apathy but don't stay there for too long, and try your best to redirect yourself the best you can. Even if you skip a day of brushing your teeth, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but you would probably respect yourself more if you got back into the routine, if only to know that you're in some kind of control when you feel like your life is utterly out of control. Probably seems like a shit consolation prize, but then again so is a life that's already ruined.

 

[abyss]

I've made this mistake before, and I think it's understandable when you're in such deep distress, you truly slide into that mindset of "this is it so fuck it." But yes, it's good you know just how destructive that can be and how easy it is to underestimate the difficulty in actually CTBing. The aftermath of making destructive choices because you're figuring it won't matter soon can be pretty devastating, and so is the strategy of actively making your life worse, in hopes that you'll be driven to CTB. I stand by my opinion that that approach almost never works to eliminate the survival instinct.

As far as trying to curb this temptation, I would only offer that it's okay to let yourself slide into the black hole of apathy but don't stay there for too long, and try your best to redirect yourself the best you can. Even if you skip a day of brushing your teeth, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but you would probably respect yourself more if you got back into the routine, if only to know that you're in some kind of control when you feel like your life is utterly out of control. Probably seems like a shit consolation prize, but then again so is a life that's already ruined.

Really well said, agreed.