How to mentally prepare yourself for CTB

[don't want it]

Its been a few days and you made the decision. There is no turning back. How do you prepare yourself mentally for that? The countdown may seem difficult or easy?

 

[Zegers]

ctb is a tricky process because you have to struggle with SI, it will never be easy unless you are not human. I have a deadline this year (aftersummer) and i hope i can leave.

 

[Fulminare]

Something that has helped me so far is to go with a good conscience. If you have family, leave behind some money and a clean room. If you only got friends, leave behind something that reminds them of you. It all depends on the person ofc. Just be prepared in your own way. Also, remembering why you're doing it (PTSD, chronic illness, pain) helps as well.

It's tough but don't stress yourself and go when the time is right. It's hard to set an accurate date, instead create a time span and then listen to how you're feeling. You'll know when the day has arrived, it's a feeling I personally cannot describe. I guess it's some sort of determination. Anyway, don't overthink SI and make yourself feel comfortable instead.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I likely want to go via SN with the 3 day method. I think building up meto in the body seems like a good idea.

I've never attempted though- so, I really don't know how I'll be feeling. In some part, relieved I expect- I've wanted this for a very long time. I'm sure I'll feel scared. Still- I'm hoping I will overcome that by reminding myself why I'm doing this. I hate my life and where it's going. Change seems far more frightening and unreliable than death. It's a process I just need to get done and hope that I don't suffer that much during it.

I think I'm kidding myself that it will be easy. I feel like I came to this decision years ago- I've just been hanging on for the right time. It's going to be an unpleasant thing to go through- no doubt but then- lots of things in life have been painful and unpleasant. Like I say though, I've never experienced SI. I might be a nervous wreck.

 

[novem]

By removing all desires—it is called Nirvana.

To achieve this status, one has to get rid of three psychological evils – Raga (greed, desire), Dwesha (anger) and Moha (delusion).

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

You write "There is no turning back." How can I get to such situation, thats all I need to know.

Why counting down, when I am ready I will do it instantly.

 

[FuneralCry]

At least the way that I see it, I think that having a method that you feel confident in and having a method plan ready is what can make someone feel prepared to ctb. Like I've read of many people feeling relieved once they've finally managed to obtain their SN, and they no longer feel so trapped here as they have a way out of this life.

And I think that if someone has that, then all that they have to do is wait for when the time is right for them to leave which is something that only the individual knows. Many people likely reach a point where they feel really desperate to leave or they just have this feeling of certainty when they know that it's time. In my case, I know that if I had a peaceful and reliable method with basically no chance of failure then I would have no problems going through with ctb. I really envy those who are able to exit this world in such a way, in particular those who have the option of N.

 

[Damnation]

It's never been that difficult for me, unless there are other complications. I found it incredibly easy to go through each day knowing I'd try to CTB soon, and making the attempt itself is usually easy too. The nerves don't start to hit me until an attempt fails or I try to do something that really triggers my SI, like stepping off a stool for full-suspension. Was never able to do it.

One thing I don't like is the feeling of loneliness, or some kind of desire for comfort in my last moments. Whenever I tried partial, some part of me always felt sad that I couldn't find a way to do it laying down on my bed, all cozied up in my blankets and holding my favorite stuffed animal.