hopscotch
i am so good at not being very good its crazy
- May 6, 2023
- 34
im, very factually, a detriment on everyone around me. the people i love genuinely get pain from caring about me. im miserable all the time. i keep psyching myself out of attempts. how do i make myself so miserable that suicide becomes easier to attempt?
the people i love have told me its cruel to do what i have been to them and they dont know if i can change and its a daily struggle to deal with me. they dont knowwhat in their life led to being punished to love someone like me they suffer every day and they try so hard etc etc. i feel terrible. change is almost impossible for me. i really need to die, if anyone has any advice.
i know it sounds like the people who i love are terrible people but trust me when i say that i'm genuinely just a bad person and of course i know that. like i know it sounds like self hating rhetoric, but i really am just a bad person, objectively, just from my actions alone. and i dont want to trhow a little pity party here but change is unreachable as far as i can tell. so death would be the best option for everyone.
the people i love have told me its cruel to do what i have been to them and they dont know if i can change and its a daily struggle to deal with me. they dont knowwhat in their life led to being punished to love someone like me they suffer every day and they try so hard etc etc. i feel terrible. change is almost impossible for me. i really need to die, if anyone has any advice.
i know it sounds like the people who i love are terrible people but trust me when i say that i'm genuinely just a bad person and of course i know that. like i know it sounds like self hating rhetoric, but i really am just a bad person, objectively, just from my actions alone. and i dont want to trhow a little pity party here but change is unreachable as far as i can tell. so death would be the best option for everyone.
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