How to make it less traumatizing for people?

[emptybox]

I chose SN as a method.
I have two lonely, already sad and traumatized, divorced parents, and they had only one child together(me); my mother also has a teenage daughter. I rent apartment, so there's also a landlord(important not from emotional standpoint ofc).
My main concern is how it will affect my younger sister, but I understand there's no way to NOT traumatize her. I at least would like to make it as "smooth" and fast as possible.

My ideas:
Basically isolate and depersonalize myself + make the process as fast and convenient for them as possible so it leaves less terrible memories.

- Deal with my belongings(I almost got rid of everything) so there's less things reminding of me
- Prepare the flat(and die somewhere else) so all my landlord will need to do is to get the keys from my parents, and all my parents will need to do is to pick up a few bags of my things
- Not to let my body start decompose too much before being found, and not let my parents find it themselves(the trick is to somehow call an ambulance(it's free here) but not too early, a scheduled message to ask someone?; or do in in a hotel - need to figure it out still)
- Thought about leaving a decent amount of money for everyone(but lost the ability to work and now have only debts, maybe I still can figure it out)
- Not connect it to any holidays so they're not spoiled forever for the family
- Not leave any emotionally charged messages, only instructions, recommendations and explanations so it's easier to understand and accept
- Not reliable, but who knows what else is going to happen: get seriously physically ill so there's a "valid" reason to die, and it's easier to convince the family that suicide is a freeing action

What are your plans, ideas, experience?

 

[TydalWave]

I don't know for sure. I like your idea to prepare the flat and do the duty somewhere else... I may steal that as it has been a concern of mine as well. But I also want to be comfortable where I go... So I am not sure where that would be....

I am using SN as well... with benzos and anti-emetics. I've had many of the same thoughts and decided to just leave with as much love and honesty as possible. I think the people I care the most about will understand and not want me to live in pain. I've considered detachment but have decided that honesty and enjoying the last minutes I share with the people I care about is more ideal in my situation. But I think a lot of it comes down to the people you have in your life, and their age and understanding.

Wish you the best <3

 

[emptybox]

I don't know for sure. I like your idea to prepare the flat and do the duty somewhere else... I may steal that as it has been a concern of mine as well. But I also want to be comfortable where I go... So I am not sure where that would be....

I am using SN as well... with benzos and anti-emetics. I've had many of the same thoughts and decided to just leave with as much love and honesty as possible. I think the people I care the most about will understand and not want me to live in pain. I've considered detachment but have decided that honesty and enjoying the last minutes I share with the people I care about is more ideal in my situation. But I think a lot of it comes down to the people you have in your life, and their age and understanding.

Wish you the best <3

Thank you for your comment,

Understandable, we definitely need and deserve this basic comfort.

Yes, with those who can support you through this without making you hide and lie - it's the best option.
I spend all the time I have with my loved one who more than understands the situation. The family is far from it(no judgement), so with them detachment is the best I can think of.

Wishing you the best too

 

[CowsAreCool]

There is nothing you can do to really ease the burden. The death of a family member (especially a child) is something traumatic enough that dealing with your belongings or distancing yourself for a short time won't do anything to alleviate. Just something you have to fully consider.

The only thing that might matter is leaving a note. Not to leave them wondering why you did it. And to make proper arrangements (will, burial, cremation, etc)

 

[FuneralCry]

The way that I see it, of course losing someone will have an affect on those left behind, but the reality is that grief and loss are simply an inevitable part of this life, as even if we don't choose to voluntarily exit we will all die and lose everything someday anyway and it's just the way that life is.
Eventually those that we know will no longer exist and we likely won't even exist in the memories of others. And also whatever happens in this world after we die could simply never be our concern as we won't be there at that point. I don't really think that there's much of a way to make it less traumatizing, of course people can leave some kind of explanation which may give those left behind some form of closure but after all death is the most normal and expected thing ever and it isn't like any of us asked for any of this in the first place, so it's our right to free ourselves from this cruel, horrific world.

 

[Tired and Done]

I've also wandered about all these things. I've thought about taking the SN and then walking into the river or ocean. To disappear forever.

 

[MideonNViscera]

I think everything you listed is a positive, but at the end of the day, they're not going to remember the tasks they didn't have to do. They're gonna rememeber their son/brother/person they loved and the fact that they killed themselves.

I know that sounds bleak, and I still think you should do everything you can. It's just that on a scale of 1000 units of hurt, you're going to lower it to 900 at best, ya know?

I wrote a note today actually, and I said "I wish I could just convince you all I went to live on a farm" as a joke, but it was also my way of acknowledging that it doesn't matter what anybody wants, it's going to be horrible for them, and I know that.