How to make it less painful for my loved ones

[TheHatedOne]

I don't care about my family... they would probably celebrate my death. But, I have 3 friends that I consider almost as my own family that I met on this site. One of them I have a crush on. I earlier really cried hard at the thought of leaving them behind. I know I'm a monster and a horrible person and that I don't deserve them, but they helped me so much at my worst times that without them I'd go insane in the true sense of the word. How do I make this as least painful as possible for them? I really can't think of anything. I have to go, but it really pains me to leave them behind. Even now I'm at the verge of tearing up. I feel so useless, I'm a horrible person.

Edit: also leaving my pet behind too, even if he's at my parents, he loved me the most. this is so painful...

 

[setup]

Honestly leave them a note. Thank the people who deserve it. Tell them why u love them and how much u have seen them flourish and to keep on going as u will watch over them

 

[Smart No More]

I don't care about my family... they would probably celebrate my death. But, I have 3 friends that I consider almost as my own family that I met on this site. One of them I have a crush on. I earlier really cried hard at the thought of leaving them behind. I know I'm a monster and a horrible person and that I don't deserve them, but they helped me so much at my worst times that without them I'd go insane in the true sense of the word. How do I make this as least painful as possible for them? I really can't think of anything. I have to go, but it really pains me to leave them behind. Even now I'm at the verge of tearing up. I feel so useless, I'm a horrible person.

Edit: also leaving my pet behind too, even if he's at my parents, he loved me the most. this is so painful...

I've kind of just poured my heart out to the same effect in another thread so I won't do it again here. I'll just say I know how you feel and empathise in the most real way! I wish my pet could go to my family. You should take peace from the knowledge that he'll be cared for. I know how hard it is to do it to a pet that you connected with more than anyone. I really fucking do!

 

[TheHatedOne]

I've kind of just poured my heart out to the same effect in another thread so I won't do it again here. I'll just say I know how you feel and empathise in the most real way! I wish my pet could go to my family. You should take peace feom the knowledge that he'll be cared for. I know how hard it is to do it to a pet that you connected with more than anyone. I really fucking do!

ishould write in my note that my family should care for him, that's the least they could do since they been abusive to me all my life, at least they should give my pet a good life.

 

[setup]

ishould write in my note that my family should care for him, that's the least they could do since they been abusive to me all my life, at least they should give my pet a good life.

If they have been abusive to you, is it wise to let them take care of the pet?

 

[TheHatedOne]

If they have been abusive to you, is it wise to let them take care of the pet?

good question, no one else can take care of him, and they seem to have taken realy good care of him so far, i myself am not allowed to have pets.

 

[setup]

So they are already taking care of your pet? Sorry just sounds confusing

 

[TheHatedOne]

So they are already taking care of your pet? Sorry just sounds confusing

yeah they did even since before I moved out.

 

[setup]

Ok gotcha. I'm sure they will continue to take care of your pet. I'd prob leave it out of the note.

I know it's tempting to want to make them feel bad for what they did to you, but u will be more at peace esp if u ctb if u let it go and decide for yourself and not due to what others have done to you.

 

[thinkkank]

i'm planning on recording some videos for my family and sending it to them before I go. when i'm gone they can play them and hear my voice

 

[setup]

i'm planning on recording some videos for my family and sending it to them before I go. when i'm gone they can play them and hear my voice

I thought about this but I think it would bring them pain. I would only do this if I had kids and it was to teach them life lessons every year

 

[Smart No More]

Ah so family pet.

i'm planning on recording some videos for my family and sending it to them before I go. when i'm gone they can play them and hear my voice

I like this idea and have already attempted to do it but always end up crying so I worry I'm going to end up making things worse.

 

[thinkkank]

Ah so family pet.

I like this idea and have already attempted to do it but always end up crying so I worry I'm going to end up making things worse.

the video wouldn't mention suicide. it would be more of a vlog talking about my day and all the good things I did. the subjects of the videos would be positive. I don't think I can bring myself to make a video explaining my exit or even a note.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think the only thing that we can do is to write notes, as this can give those left behind some closure and will mean they are not left with unanswered questions. I plan to say things like 'now I am at peace and I am free from suffering'. However I do not believe there is much you can really do to make it less painful, they will be upset no matter what. I hope you find peace.

 

[Samsara]

I think it might be helpful to explain:

1. You've been in unbearable suffering for a long time
2. The pain you've felt has nothing to do with your family, and nothing they could have done or not done could have eased the pain
3. Ctb has brought you eternal peace

I am thinking saying something like, CTB is a final act of self-care to ease the pain might be helpful/comforting but I am unsure

 

[atlaSS]

Eu não me importo com minha família ... eles provavelmente celebrariam minha morte. Mas, tenho 3 amigos que considero quase como minha própria família que conheci neste site. Tenho uma queda por um deles. Antes, eu realmente chorei muito com a ideia de deixá-los para trás. Eu sei que sou um monstro e uma pessoa horrível e que não os mereço, mas eles me ajudaram tanto nos meus piores momentos que sem eles eu enlouqueceria no verdadeiro sentido da palavra. Como posso tornar isso o menos doloroso possível para eles? Eu realmente não consigo pensar em nada. Eu tenho que ir, mas realmente me dói deixá-los para trás. Mesmo agora, estou prestes a desmoronar. Eu me sinto tão inútil, sou uma pessoa horrível.

Edit: também deixando meu animal de estimação para trás, mesmo que ele esteja com meus pais, ele me amou mais. isso é tão doloroso ...

Escreva algo dizendo que você teve que se se libertar desse mau que é viver. E escreva também como se sentia quando eles o ajudavam.

 

[Harriet]

I don't know how to say this that won't sound bad. But when I know for absolute sure I'm in the right head space to ctb it's when I feel like the people I love would be 100% better off without me and I have no doubt of that. So then I'm beyond rationally thinking of how to make it less painful… I'm just of the opinion that me ceasing to exist will reduce their pain in the long run. Yes I have kids. I'm a shit person. Tell me something I don't already know.