How to lie to those that love me and keep a poker face?

[Maxivee]

Unfortunately too many people know I am suicidal- when I was a bit more hopeful I told people in hopes that I would change my mind but I keep coming back to wishing I was dead. Right now I'm living with my parents who are aware of how I'm feeling and trying their best to love and help me but although I flip flop a bit I'm pretty sure of my decision. I just have a really bad poker face. I set my date but I'm starting a new job and also have to deal with friends who knew how I've been feeling asking how I am... How do I continuously lie and say I'm doing better when I'm really not? I used to be a really honest person until being honest was too hard.

 

[Before26]

It is beautiful that you have so many friends and family that care, and it must suck feeling as though you have to lie to them. I shared with a lot of people, because i hoped having a safety net would save me. I think depending on what you need, if you need a chat, you should just let your friends know you're not okay. Unfortunately, I have no advice as to how to keep lying as I have no skill in lying which is why everyone knows my business... and sometimes the people closest to us see through our lies anyway

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds stressful being in that situation. I personally never see it as a good idea to tell others that I am suicidal. I'm not in a similar situation, so I do not have much advice. Maybe lying over a long period of time might convince them eventually. I can imagine that pretending must be tiring. I always see it as better to stay away from others anyway. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[themanwithoutaplan]

One possibility is to let people close to you know that constantly asking how are you can trigger more depressed moods since it causes you to dwell on how you're feeling. This might help in that you won't have to lie as often.

Also, I've found it more productive when I'm depressed if people ask me if I want to do stuff rather than dwell on how I'm feeling.

 

[Cant go back]

1. Avoid friends and family as much as possible

2. Keep any conversations you have to have about your feelings very very short, and immediately switch the subject.

3. Try to come up with some repeatable phrases you can use so if you're asked how you're feeling so it's more of a reflex for you, rather than you having to think of a lie.

With all that being said. I hope you flip to getting better one day.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Omission, don't say anything at all if you can help it. Lying is difficult. I've always been able to answer "I'm fine." though when I'm really not, I guess its personal.

I think it's okay to tell them that you are struggling though and could use some support or someone to talk to if it's ok with them. You don't have to say suicidal.

 

[greyautumnsky]

I say I'm doing about as well as I can with a smile on my face, and say how are you. Or can't complain too much, how are you.

Both statements don't say much and the smile makes it seem positive. I've also learned to smile with my eyes and I wear a mask a lot. I've learned if I think of something that makes me happy my eyes twinkle. Sometimes it's dying, or thinking about my Son, or my cat, or doing crafts. So then they think I'm doing OK when I'm really not.

And don't let the conversation go further into how I'm feeling. I'll talk about my craft projects or practical things like my plans for the day or week.