How to leave?

[Braindamagedforever]

I was a person loving life, took antidepressant for stress event and I am totally destroyed: After 18 months - nearly zero sleep, strong chemical body anxiety, lost emotions, smell, taste, body numbness and weird head sensation like nonstop flow in head and brain zaps, sweating deadly, last for 5 months it is getting worse I can't leave house due to weird head, bed ridden. No chance for improvement. I can't take any oral agent as I vomit steadily. I'm weak to get to train or jump (one friend lives in 9th floor but I can't stay there alone)...
Concerning hanging, I was trying to find carotid arteries, they are located too deeply. By a practice with partial hanging I feel only pressure on wind pipe with urgent need of vomitting (even if I put pads). I'm desperate. I think about full hanging (at home, on stairs) even with risk of long death by suffocation......it can take long....

I read so much here about hanging but please who studied more to it - how to make a knot on noose and when you put it on you head you need to tighten it somehow? What is the best knot for handrail? What other tips? I have only 43 kg atm...
Sorry for stupid questions and English...I would have probably tsd of other questions...if I can fet some answers...I read nearly everything ob this site, thanks.

PLEASE, I appreciate any advice and help.

 

[Duckup]

I was a person loving life, took antidepressant for stress event and I am totally destroyed: After 18 months - nearly zero sleep, strong chemical body anxiety, lost emotions, smell, taste, body numbness and weird head sensation like nonstop flow in head and brain zaps, sweating deadly, last for 5 months it is getting worse I can't leave house due to weird head, bed ridden. No chance for improvement. I can't take any oral agent as I vomit steadily. I'm weak to get to train or jump (one friend lives in 9th floor but I can't stay there alone)...
Concerning hanging, I was trying to find carotid arteries, they are located too deeply. By a practice with partial hanging I feel only pressure on wind pipe with urgent need of vomitting (even if I put pads). I'm desperate. I think about full hanging (at home, on stairs) even with risk of long death by suffocation......it can take long....

I read so much here about hanging but please who studied more to it - how to make a knot on noose and when you put it on you head you need to tighten it somehow? What is the best knot for handrail? What other tips? I have only 43 kg atm...
Sorry for stupid questions and English...I would have probably tsd of other questions...if I can fet some answers...I read nearly everything ob this site, thanks.

PLEASE, I appreciate any advice and help.

So sorry for you and it's a shame psychiatry is so underdeveloped that a most of us are just the test subject for the science to be, but progress at the expense of someone is part of humanity I guess. It seems you are an overthinker and indeed very anxious, getting to the stoic point of hanging yourself seems a very hard task for people like you. Are you sure your peace can only be achieved by ctb? Is there nothing in your life you could change, perhaps cut ties with parasitic people who make you feel worse, connect with the ones you love or maybe even just doing a 180 turn on your current material or external stimuli (move to somewhere and change what you watch and listen to media, art wise) ? I get it if it's simply impossible. What meds have you been taking?

 

[Braindamagedforever]

So sorry for you and it's a shame psychiatry is so underdeveloped that a most of us are just the test subject for the science to be, but progress at the expense of someone is part of humanity I guess. It seems you are an overthinker and indeed very anxious, getting to the stoic point of hanging yourself seems a very hard task for people like you. Are you sure your peace can only be achieved by ctb? Is there nothing in your life you could change, perhaps cut ties with parasitic people who make you feel worse, connect with the ones you love or maybe even just doing a 180 turn on your current material or external stimuli (move to somewhere and change what you watch and listen to media, art wise) ? I get it if it's simply impossible. What meds have you been taking?

Thanks for reaction, my current state is really serious due to non existent sleep, I slept greatly before meds. I can't do anything and will be put to psych ward soon. I'm afraid I'm going to live in suffering. I read many stories from people not sleeping over years from this crap. I reacted badly to it.
What is your method?

 

[JimFord99]

My preferred method is SN. Not long now. Hanging is probably the one option if you do it right and if you have no othetmeans.

 

[Duckup]

Thanks for reaction, my current state is really serious due to non existent sleep, I slept greatly before meds. I can't do anything and will be put to psych ward soon. I'm afraid I'm going to live in suffering. I read many stories from people not sleeping over years from this crap. I reacted badly to it.
What is your method?

Damn, that is harsh. When I was in the situation I got prescribed low doses of antipsychotics to knock me out, but they have changed me as a person, perhaps because I was using a lot of marijuana durning that time. What medication are you prescribed? Have you stopped taking it? If you can, maybe talk about your history with mental illness and psychiatry, no worries if you don't want to or if it makes you feel worse, just ignore it. What's your history with street drugs?

My method is SN, got everything ready, waiting for the year to pass to not ruin the holiday times for family. It may or may not be a difficult method for you depending on the country you live in and the connections you got. (The hard part is finding the right antiemetic)

 

[Braindamagedforever]

Damn, that is harsh. When I was in the situation I got prescribed low doses of antipsychotics to knock me out, but they have changed me as a person, perhaps because I was using a lot of marijuana durning that time. What medication are you prescribed? Have you stopped taking it? If you can, maybe talk about your history with mental illness and psychiatry, no worries if you don't want to or if it makes you feel worse, just ignore it. What's your history with street drugs?

My method is SN, got everything ready, waiting for the year to pass to not ruin the holiday times for family. It may or may not be a difficult method for you depending on the country you live in and the connections you got. (The hard part is finding the right antiemetic)

Oh, I m jealous with SN. I 'm nauseous 24/7, I wouldn't probably get unconscious and yes, I would have probs to get antiemetics. Remeron/Mirt destroyed me, still take 3.75mg. I had no history with mental illness, never took anything in my life (and I'm middle aged). I took it for stress related issue.

Oh, if there would be any other way, hanging might be difficult for me.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Oh, I m jealous with SN. I 'm nauseous 24/7, I wouldn't probably get unconscious and yes, I would have probs to get antiemetics. Remeron/Mirt destroyed me, still take 3.75mg. I had no history with mental illness, never took anything in my life (and I'm middle aged). I took it for stress related issue.

Oh, if there would be any other way, hanging might be difficult for me.

Why are you still taking that crap?
Did you ever stopped taking it?