Help How to go through…

[kmlk13]

Hello everyone. I've been mentally struggling for years, and I know CTB would solve it all.

I had an attempt lately (wanted to jump into a lake near my home, wearing a backpack full of bricks), but couldn't not because of SI, but thoughts of my family.

I love them really much and I'm sure it would ruin them. That thoughts paralyzed me and stopped me from going through. I really don't know what to do, because I know I want to CTB and basically I have to.

Isn't CTB selfish? I'm fine with doing horrible things to myself, but to my loved ones?

Seeking advice dear strangers

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

We're a pro-choice forum, no one can give you advice on how to get over this obstacle, it's a place you have to arrive at yourself. Just know that a lot of us are grappling with the same issue, of wanting to go but not wanting to hurt anyone (ex. this thread). It's a thorny problem.

I will say, though, I don't consider CTB to be selfish. My personal view is that keeping someone alive who is sure that they want to die just to prevent your own pain is what's selfish. None of us have an obligation to continue carrying a burden that was imposed on us.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

This is the ever unsolvable problem we all have. Someone will have to suffer in the end. It's either us for several more decades until a natural death occurs or it's family/friends/loved ones who will grief and suffer only for some time bc their life will eventually go on (most likely with no issues).

It's not selfish. It's your own decision. You are the one who is suffering not the others. You could ask yourself is there really nothing the others can do to make your life bearable. If there is nothing they can actually do then what would be the solution in the end.

Living is hard dying is even harder.

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Linda]

I think a lot depends on the nature of your relationship to your family. If you have kids who are dependent on you, that's a different situation than having people who love you but are not dependent on you. There is no easy answer to this. As other people have already said, it's something you will have to figure out for yourself.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, the selfish ones are those who insist that others must continue suffering no matter what even know existing isn't an obligation, it's up to the individual whether they wish to continue existing or not. But anyway best wishes.

 

[kmlk13]

Thank you for your responses guys, I think you might be right. I didn't choose to be born and live, hence whether I want to go on or not should be mine and only mine decision. Luckily I don't have kids, just parents, siblings and friends who would be devastated by my death, but probably would be able to move on in future (hopefully).

I think what I'm going to do now, is give myself a few days before attempting CTB again. I need to clear my head and make peace with some thoughts.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Thank you for your responses guys, I think you might be right. I didn't choose to be born and live, hence whether I want to go on or not should be mine and only mine decision. Luckily I don't have kids, just parents, siblings and friends who would be devastated by my death, but probably would be able to move on in future (hopefully).

I think what I'm going to do now, is give myself a few days before attempting CTB again. I need to clear my head and make peace with some thoughts.

Best of luck. This is also my method, and it's no small feat, so take as much time as you need to find your peace <3