Help How to give up completely

[sorrydiceroll]

Hi friends,

I want to give up completely and die. There's a small bit of hope left in me which keeps me from CTB, but I'm tired of fighting depression. Can I force myself to lose that bit of subconscious hope somehow?

 

[healthrecovery]

Its SI bro is not going to go away

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Hi friends,

I want to give up completely and die. There's a small bit of hope left in me which keeps me from CTB, but I'm tired of fighting depression. Can I force myself to lose that bit of subconscious hope somehow?

I'm struggling with that myself… I have absolutely zero desire/reason to live and yet here I am

 

[ddd1234]

guys, i have a pressure of time so maybe it will help me. This week probably my gf will end up a relationship with me ( no wonder, the only things I do is laying in the bed or walking around room and screaming: "I want to kill myself!") and I will resign from the dream job. Those will be powerful trigers to overcome SI. The only problem ios that I dobn't have N , and safe place to hang myself :( I wish I obtained N and AE earlier :(

 

[FuneralCry]

At least in my case, when things get worse for me and the pain of living gets too much, only then will I be able to finally go through with it. Ctb is difficult as we are programmed to survive after all. I think I would only ctb if I was certain about my decision and I had no more doubts. I am glad I have no more hope though personally, as I see hope as just leading to more pain. I wish you the best.

 

[sorrydiceroll]

At least in my case, when things get worse for me and the pain of living gets too much, only then will I be able to finally go through with it. Ctb is difficult as we are programmed to survive after all. I think I would only ctb if I was certain about my decision and I had no more doubts. I am glad I have no more hope though personally, as I see hope as just leading to more pain. I wish you the best.

Thank you. I am considering bringing my self-sabotaging habits into the conscious and letting them run wild. I have already begun to take massive risks with my personal well-being. Mostly gambling and alcohol abuse. Pushing my self-hating habits to the extreme would involve cutting off my friends, quitting my job, attempting to drink myself to death, and intentionally souring the last few relationships I have left even if they do not deserve that pain. I have become a ghost of what I once was and all I manage to do is hurt the people I care about, so in a way this would lessen their pain since I wouldn't be around to cause it anymore. Maybe I could break the law and get shot to death, but knowing my luck, that would end up with me back in the psych ward and prolonging my suffering.

What gives you hope?

 

[Darkover]

they've made it really hard for people to kill themselves just give me access to a pharmacy or gun or a bomb and this will all be over in no time at all

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Thank you. I am considering bringing my self-sabotaging habits into the conscious and letting them run wild. I have already begun to take massive risks with my personal well-being. Mostly gambling and alcohol abuse. Pushing my self-hating habits to the extreme would involve cutting off my friends, quitting my job, attempting to drink myself to death, and intentionally souring the last few relationships I have left even if they do not deserve that pain. I have become a ghost of what I once was and all I manage to do is hurt the people I care about, so in a way this would lessen their pain since I wouldn't be around to cause it anymore. Maybe I could break the law and get shot to death, but knowing my luck, that would end up with me back in the psych ward and prolonging my suffering.

What gives you hope?

I happen to be doing that unintentionally but not quite as extreme

 

[Sherri]

For me I take each day as it comes, some days are very hard, some I actually function well. Medication helped me tremendously and so as this site. Hope you find your way .

 

[FuneralCry]

Thank you. I am considering bringing my self-sabotaging habits into the conscious and letting them run wild. I have already begun to take massive risks with my personal well-being. Mostly gambling and alcohol abuse. Pushing my self-hating habits to the extreme would involve cutting off my friends, quitting my job, attempting to drink myself to death, and intentionally souring the last few relationships I have left even if they do not deserve that pain. I have become a ghost of what I once was and all I manage to do is hurt the people I care about, so in a way this would lessen their pain since I wouldn't be around to cause it anymore. Maybe I could break the law and get shot to death, but knowing my luck, that would end up with me back in the psych ward and prolonging my suffering.

What gives you hope?

I meant to say in my post that I never really have had much hope, I have always expected the worst out of everything. The one thing that does give me hope is death as only then will I be at peace and free from suffering.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I dont recommend self sabotage as you can still have ruined everything in your life and severed all relationships but SI would still be just as powerful

 

[Insomniac]

Can I force myself to lose that bit of subconscious hope somehow?

using all the money in my bank account should do it for me