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UnusedGate

UnusedGate

Member
Aug 12, 2025
54
There's a pretty good chance that i'll kill myself soon (within the next 6 months) but every time I think about it I get really stressed and my heart starts beating really fast (panic attack?).
Current solutions are:
- reduce depression (go outside more)
- Just try not to think about it.

Is there anything else I could do?
 
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amerie

amerie

an earthworm sprinkled with salt
Oct 6, 2024
756
Let it happen unless it's really bad which in that case you'd need to go to the ER.

Running will only make it worse

Let yourself feel like shit and cry and scream it out if you need to
 
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Wolf Girl

Wolf Girl

"This place made me feel worthless"
Jun 12, 2024
543
Let it happen unless it's really bad which in that case you'd need to go to the ER.

Running will only make it worse

Let yourself feel like shit and cry and scream it out if you need to
I second this. You have to relax into it, be like water, and let it come and let it go.
 
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
2,528
If you are giving yourself panic attacks over your own death, you are not ready to go. Suicide should be attempted with a clear, calm mind. It seems like you are giving yourself a window where you need to attempt. Do not do this. Plan your attempt, but let it happen when you feel ready.
 
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amerie

amerie

an earthworm sprinkled with salt
Oct 6, 2024
756
If you are giving yourself panic attacks over your own death, you are not ready to go. Suicide should be attempted with a clear, calm mind. It seems like you are giving yourself a window where you need to attempt. Do not do this. Plan your attempt, but let it happen when you feel ready.
Bruh they said they're doing it in a few months not rn
 
UnusedGate

UnusedGate

Member
Aug 12, 2025
54
If you are giving yourself panic attacks over your own death, you are not ready to go. Suicide should be attempted with a clear, calm mind. It seems like you are giving yourself a window where you need to attempt. Do not do this. Plan your attempt, but let it happen when you feel ready.
Sorry, I misworded what I wanted to say. I meant to say that I do have a date and it's in the next 6 months.

I just realized that maybe the reason why I get stressed is that my brain thinks that maybe one day my disabilities will go away and in that case I don't want to die. I guess my brain is trying to be hopeful despite me rationally knowing that the chances of it being fixed are low. I guess this stress will only go away once I see my doc again and they tell me that it isn't fixable.
 
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Aiyuxiao

Aiyuxiao

Mage
Mar 28, 2025
504
Sorry, I misworded what I wanted to say. I meant to say that I do have a date and it's in the next 6 months.

I just realized that maybe the reason why I get stressed is that my brain thinks that maybe one day my disabilities will go away and in that case I don't want to die. I guess my brain is trying to be hopeful despite me rationally knowing that the chances of it being fixed are low. I guess this stress will only go away once I see my doc again and they tell me that it isn't fixable.
Wow, you and I have similar feelings. Where me thinking of dying makes me cry because if I wasnt disabled in pain, I wouldn't be on this site. Also, planning to die within the next couple of months.
 
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Nightfoot

Specialist
Aug 7, 2025
315
There's a pretty good chance that i'll kill myself soon (within the next 6 months) but every time I think about it I get really stressed and my heart starts beating really fast (panic attack?).
Current solutions are:
- reduce depression (go outside more)
- Just try not to think about it.

Is there anything else I could do?
Is it possible you're having that reaction because you're not ready to CTB? It's okay to not be.
 
UnusedGate

UnusedGate

Member
Aug 12, 2025
54
Is it possible you're having that reaction because you're not ready to CTB? It's okay to not be.
No longer having panic attacks, I think they were unrelated. However, I do get a little stressed when I think about dying, specifically dying and not the act of killing myself. Just knowing that I won't wake up the day after I ctb kinda fucks with me. I imagine this is normal tho.
 
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Nightfoot

Specialist
Aug 7, 2025
315
No longer having panic attacks, I think they were unrelated. However, I do get a little stressed when I think about dying, specifically dying and not the act of killing myself. Just knowing that I won't wake up the day after I ctb kinda fucks with me. I imagine this is normal tho.
Yes, the finality of it is heavy to consider.
 

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