Help How to get over fear?

[runningdownthathill]

Stool. Cloth. Shower booth upper railing. All I have to do is step off the stool now. I would probably thrash around but black out before my body could hoist itself up.

Only problem: I'm shaking. I'm scared. The way out is clearly marked and I can't even bring myself to step out the door, let alone get on the bus. It's truly a dogshit feeling - so undignified and humiliating, to feel so afraid. This is what I wanted, but I can't make myself do it. How do I get over it? Alcohol doesn't work on me, it just makes me pukey and tired. I don't have access to stronger drugs. I can't even sedate myself. I'd like some pointers on how to get over SI so this can all end easily.

 

[Vizzy]

Stool. Cloth. Shower booth upper railing. All I have to do is step off the stool now. I would probably thrash around but black out before my body could hoist itself up.

Only problem: I'm shaking. I'm scared. The way out is clearly marked and I can't even bring myself to step out the door, let alone get on the bus. It's truly a dogshit feeling - so undignified and humiliating, to feel so afraid. This is what I wanted, but I can't make myself do it. How do I get over it? Alcohol doesn't work on me, it just makes me pukey and tired. I don't have access to stronger drugs. I can't even sedate myself. I'd like some pointers on how to get over SI so this can all end easily.

I would say you are not pushed to the corner to the point you want to ctb as you have other options for the way out that's why you can't fight si, if you are not ready and if you have other way out try those

Try to use some other methods to do ctb

You can use alcohol, benzos and other drugs to calm yourself

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How to overcome the fear, the SI. One must reach a stage where the pain and agony before becoming unconscious will be less than the pain and agony if this life goes on for an unknown amount of days, weeks, months, years ....

 

[TheAntithesis]

"Its not the desiring of the fall, but the fear of the flames around you."

I guess a good way to look at it, is if you don't go now, if you don't overcome this fear and grant yourself this mercy, the flames that are consuming your life will continue to torch everything, and all will continue to be taken from you until you're left with nothing.

...For something more practical, I've found some marijuana edibles (Sativa Delta-8) can inflict with me such raw, genuine despair that I genuinely feel like I can take my own life before other carnal desires take hold. Its in that crucial half hour or so I can fully comprehend just how terrifying life will become if we don't opt out while we still can. If you have access to benzos (Valium, Xanax, etc) I have heard these work well at suppressing SI as well. Alcohol is one you have to be careful with, at low doses it can take the edge off of your despair and have counter intuitive purposes, in higher doses it can just make you want to pass out, or wallow in your despair.

I try to look at SI like the final shackle that keeps us bound to this machine that wants to extract every last drop of our agony, and to this world that wants to exploit our labor until we are wrung dry.

 

[FuneralCry]

There's just no straightforward way to leave this horrible world, and suicide could never be easy, it's certainly like the survival instinct exists just to keep us trapped here and prolong our suffering, I hate how difficult it is to finally cease existing but I imagine that those who went through with it were just so determined and this allowed them to free themselves from everything, I envy their courage. I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.