SN is very easy to get in the U.S.- as easy as salt. Just search on google by purchase sn and you will find numerous suppliers. This is not restricted in any way in the u.s., though I think it has been taken off of amazon. I will say to please carefully consider your decision. It is my opinion that in most cases for a person to ctb under age 25 is a mistake, since the younger a person is the more opportunities the world gives them to turn things around. Some people under 25 with serious physical health probelms may be an exception. So please fully explore all options to make life better before turning to ctb. If you have people who care about you, especially parents or other immediate family who care, please make sure that you try to get as much help as you can from them before going with the option to ctb. Take months at least to think about it, in my opinion, while exploring options to make life better.