How to force mental disconnection?

[teyabutter]

So sorry if this is the wrong place to ask about this or if I'm doing this wrong, first post so yeah.
Basically I've been on/off suicidal for most of my life, and I would genuinely (and have) considered multiple different ways I could ctb, but the issue is I tend to get very attached to people, typically only one person for a prolonged period of time.
So I'm overly attached to my best friend right now, happen for a while and I really can't imagine it changing unless she told me I had to leave her alone. Then maybe after a couple of months I would lose interest? But basically I know that she also deals with mental health stuff, and ctb is not something that she would seriously consider because it would hurt her family. The only reason I am still really around is because it would hurt her if I left, and I'm perfectly happy dedicating my life to her and making her happy.
Honestly she doesn't even ever need to acknowledge me, I just know that it would hurt her a lot if I did anything noticeable to myself like that. I've disassociated before, and I've felt unreal before, which was a huge comfort to me. Plus it doesn't typically involve physically hurting myself so I don't have to worry about her being too concerned.
So basically I wanted to ask if anyone had any tips to help disconnect from reality/yourself, since I can't do it on command or when it would be really useful.
I'm also completely fine with a fact that I probably wouldn't be able to control it to turn it back off.
I have kaleidoscope glasses that heavily distort my vision, which can really help sometimes, but it's not permanent and can be easily interrupted by even my own thought process.

Sorry this is so long, just basically wanted to ask if anyone had any tips or tricks to sort of disconnect/depersonalize!

 

[Live and Let Die]

This is really hard to explain, but it's what I call "Mental Neutral" Like the transmission in a car. All the systems are operating, engine is running, everything is great. But you're in neutral so nothing happens. Which is exactly what happens, no thoughts in my head, just complete emptiness. However, I can't really control how long it lasts, but usually the max is 5 mins or until someone snaps me out of it. How do I do it? easiest way to explain it is I just don't think of anything, or I stop thinking. I wouldn't recommend entire disconnection since that is extremely unhealthy but learning how to stop thinking entirely is a pretty useful skill. Just takes practice I guess. Good luck :D

 

[teyabutter]

This is really hard to explain, but it's what I call "Mental Neutral" Like the transmission in a car. All the systems are operating, engine is running, everything is great. But you're in neutral so nothing happens. Which is exactly what happens, no thoughts in my head, just complete emptiness. However, I can't really control how long it lasts, but usually the max is 5 mins or until someone snaps me out of it. How do I do it? easiest way to explain it is I just don't think of anything, or I stop thinking. I wouldn't recommend entire disconnection since that is extremely unhealthy but learning how to stop thinking entirely is a pretty useful skill. Just takes practice I guess. Good luck :D

Thank you so much! Nice to know I'm not the only one on this journey (or just one similar)either lol

 

[Live and Let Die]

Nice to know I'm not the only one on this journey

If there's a place that lets you know you're not alone, this would be it c:
also, feel free to PM me if you wanna talk about this further I also have some questions about random shit

 

[teyabutter]

If there's a place that lets you know you're not alone, this would be it c:
also, feel free to PM me if you wanna talk about this further I also have some questions about random shit

Would love to pm you, but pretty sure I have to post more to unlock it, which sucks because I'm a chronic lurker lol ripp

 

[Live and Let Die]

Would love to pm you, but pretty sure I have to post more to unlock it, which sucks because I'm a chronic lurker lol ripp

One thing I did was visit recovery threads and the farewell threads and gave some nice messages, which is sorta bittersweet, saying goodbye to someone I just met, you don't think it would affect you as much as it does but yk. They no longer suffer. all is well

Would love to pm you

maybe I could try PM'ing you
Edit: nvm didnt work lol

 

[teyabutter]

One thing I did was visit recovery threads and the farewell threads and gave some nice messages, which is sorta bittersweet, saying goodbye to someone I just met, you don't think it would affect you as much as it does but yk. They no longer suffer. all is well

maybe I could try PM'ing you
Edit: nvm didnt work lol

Thanks! I'll do my best to get whatever stats up and then if you're still okay with it PM you when I can?

 

[Live and Let Die]

if you're still okay with it PM you when I can?

PMs are always open :D

PM you when I can?

Maybe check your preferences and privacy. After some digging, it turns out I'm able to message people with less messages than you, so maybe it would be in there. If you still can't find it open a ticket under "General Inquiries" and (if im honest) hope for a response in less than 12hrs. other than that just keep looking through your settings.