How to focus on study when your life is shit?

[PI3.14]

I'm 26 but I'm back in college. I try to focus on school but I would go days without studying. I don't know how to focus on school when thoughts about me being lonely and me being 26 without work history makes me miserable every waking hour. I tried journaling, medicine, and therapy but all were useless.

I feel like since my life derailed from the norm it became an ever increasingly difficult to redeem it.

I have a date in mind to CTB which is in about 2.5 years. I don't want to reach age 30 like this but especially because I've never had a relationship.

Seeing people my age working in great companies, and getting married makes me very envious. I stopped seeing my used to be friends because our life got so different that I couldn't relate to them anymore.

TBH, I just wish there was an easy and comfortable way out of this miserable life of mine. Sometimes I contemplate moving my CTB date closer because I don't think things will turn out well for me, ever. So why bother living the extra 2 years? Just to suffer?

 

[princeeugeneofsavoy]

When I was in school I would always tell myself if I didn't get the best grades possible I'd have to kill myself and I repeated that to myself 24/7 to such an extent that I would have panic attacks if I didn't study. Got good grades at least. 26 seems like a really young age to be getting married and being set in a career though imo.

 

[alienfreak]

You should have some reason for studying what you're studying, like expecting it will realistically lead to a job you want. That should motivate you and you should remind yourself of it and check that it is true. If you dont have that rational justification then, well, maybe you shouldnt be studying at all (might sound harsh but thats the reality; i myself made the mistake of studying when i shouldnt have)

 

[ceilng_tile]

I know some people who didn't get a job until their mid-20s and who didn't find a relationship until their mid-30s. I hope that helps a little.

 

[PI3.14]

I know some people who didn't get a job until their mid-20s and who didn't find a relationship until their mid-30s. I hope that helps a little.

The things is, I won't have a job anytime soon, perhaps my first will be after I finish my degree. The thing is, I know I'm pathetic to even think that I deserve romantic love in my current state. I know I don't unless I fix my life, even that is no guarantee given that my appearance isn't good either.

However, living past 30 is quite a difficult task for me and TBH, I'm not interested on living past that if I'm still single. Might have been different if I have already been in a relationship but I've been really dragging my dead body through the last few years and I'm almost at my limit.

 

[alienfreak]

The things is, I won't have a job anytime soon, perhaps my first will be after I finish my degree. The thing is, I know I'm pathetic to even think that I deserve romantic love in my current state. I know I don't unless I fix my life, even that is no guarantee given that my appearance isn't good either.

However, living past 30 is quite a difficult task for me and TBH, I'm not interested on living past that if I'm still single. Might have been different if I have already been in a relationship but I've been really dragging my dead body through the last few years and I'm almost at my limit.

I think in any state you could potentially find a suitable person and you could help each other grow stronger. It may only get harder as you grow older and get more broken from being alone for longer. 26 still seems young to me but thats because im 30+

 

[PI3.14]

I think in any state you could potentially find a suitable person and you could help each other grow stronger. It may only get harder as you grow older and get more broken from being alone for longer. 26 still seems young to me but thats because im 30+

The thing is I don't know where or if I'll find such a person. I feel like I will be more comfortable with an introverted and asocial person like myself but the issue is, introverts are no where to be seen.

 

[alienfreak]

The thing is I don't know where or if I'll find such a person. I feel like I will be more comfortable with an introverted and asocial person like myself but the issue is, introverts are no where to be seen.

I have exactly the same problem, i dont know how to find such a person