How to feel selfharm again

[SamInAnEppisode]

I have had a self harm addiction for about 2 years and a few weeks ago I was 1 years clean. I relapse. I don't regret it thought. But it's just doesn't feel the same anymore. I want to feel the pain again but it stops so quickly. I cut and it stings but then goes numb

What can I do to make the pain last longer?

 

[justcallmeJ]

So far my cuts arent that deep (shitty knife) but i like to put some aloe vera cream afterwards. It helps with the healing but also stings a lot.

 

[hellispink]

It just doesnt help as much anymore. Which is way i stopped. Its sad