Discussion how to fall out of love

[melonhead88]

is it possible to easily fall out of love and stop caring about someone

 

[Ratherbeskinny]

In a healthy way? No. But making them hate you like you are the worst person they've ever met, makes most people quite mad, which can lead to you hating them as well. Idk lol don't ask me.

 

[ninthhokage]

It's not easy at all to fall out of love. It definitely takes time.

 

[EmptyArms]

So what do you love about this person?

 

[MissNietzsche]

I don't have any good suggestions but...sometimes falling in love with someone else works

 

[melonhead88]

So what do you love about this person?

i just look at them and i feel like i'm home and everything about them is right and i've never wanted something more than i want them but he cheated on me and i know he doesn't feel the same

 

[EmptyArms]

And so, that's how you feel. But what is it about him that you actually love. He cheated on you is all I know about him. That's not much to go on.

 

[melonhead88]

And so, that's how you feel. But what is it about him that you actually love. He cheated on you is all I know about him. That's not much to go on.

he's so sweet and funny and his face is perfectly imperfect and his personality is so precious aaaaa

 

[EmptyArms]

I understand. It sounds like you are smitten by his charm and good/imperfect looks!
But if he cheated on you and you want to fall out of love with him then maybe concentrate on that part. That pretty face cheated on you . Find someone who actually deserves your love. Take your time choosing them because your love isnt just nothing , it's a big deal. Only bestow it on someone who is truly worthy and who wont throw it away on some idle whim. Good luck!

 

[Ratherbeskinny]

And so, that's how you feel. But what is it about him that you actually love. He cheated on you is all I know about him. That's not much to go on.

It's enough to go on. He cheated on her and she shouldn't let herself get played like that, period.

OP: whenever you feel like contacting him, imagine him having sex with someone else. Or imagine him having sex wirh you while he's screaming somebody else's name. That could help.

 

[Final Escape]

is it possible to easily fall out of love and stop caring about someone

Yes I think it's possible and especially if u have borderline, narcissistic, or some type of antisocial disorder. With certain pathologies u cannot bond the way other people do without attachment disorders so they never could love in the first place. You can also decide this because someone changed and u don't like what they are doing or how they make u feel anymore. I've definitely fallen out of love many times. It might take some time to get over them.

 

[imstillhungry]

I wish I knew how... For me loving someone is for life, regardless of what happens. I feel exactly the same way as Ted in HIMYM

 

[Moonicide]

i just look at them and i feel like i'm home and everything about them is right and i've never wanted something more than i want them but he cheated on me and i know he doesn't feel the same

I'm so sorry, love. The only way to get over them is to rip the bandaid off. Go no contact, block and remove them. So when you want to reach them, you won't be able to. I know that's easier said than done, but being with someone that doesn't value you or love you is worse than being alone.

 

[oopswronglife]

A lot of people have a fantastical and immature idea about what love is. It's not a warm feeling in your heart...it's not lust, or obsession, or pining. Love is respect and respect is a choice. If someone is not deserving of that respect because they cheated, abandoned, abuse, don't care about you etc then it's just self flagellation to say you "love" them. You don't love them...you love a fantasy ideal that isn't real and it's easier to pretend you can't help it or it's some magical power than to face the painful reality. Someone very important to me ctb because of "unrequited love" and it infuriates me that this person, who didn't care about them at all, was able to take so much from them because of this ridiculous and made up idea that "I cannot live without this person" (who wasn't even actually the person they fantasized they were) wasn't seen as it's reality: "I am so hurt from the rejection that I am turning it inward" by it's victim. It's a very human thing...people do it all the time...but it's no less a choice and the excuses are no less excuses. It's how victims stay with abusers...it's how people fall for scams...it's how so many of us suffer because we want to be loved and need to believe it's some supernatural force to justify the pain not having it causes us.