How to do cbt? How to mentally prepare for cbt?

[Me Me Me]

Basically title. I have tried to CBT several times with several different methods but I always stop at the last moment, I always feel the need to tell someone what I am going to do to say goodbye. I feel the need to say goodbye to the person I love the most and inevitably this person always tells my loved ones, they all live nearby so I get caught easily. I have the perfect method for CBT and I have everything prepared for it but I just can't let go of life a little damn hope lives in my mind telling me "don't do it, wait a little longer, maybe things will change soon" but things never they change. I want to die, I want to die, I long to die but at the same time I have a terrible fear of it. I don't know what to do, I'm trapped in a life I don't want to live but I can't do cbt either.

 

[PixelPlant]

i'm going through the same thing and i hate myself for it, i'm very hesitant and it gets worse the longer i wait so yeah i feel you

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I can relate to that a lot, I always feel like I shouldn't do it yet. If I'm feeling a tiny bit positive, I think maybe that's fate, if not I get even more depressed.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

I think that one have to be very brave to dare to commit suicide.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that if one has a method all planned out then it's just waiting for when the time is right. But I do understand that it's dreadful feeling trapped here, suicide just isn't straightforward after all, I imagine that many who managed to succeed just got so determined to do so.