How to crush your own hopes and dreams

[HorribleFeelings1]

Deep down I know nothing will change and only change for the worse if something did. I know the outcome but my heart and brain believes something good can change but I know it won't. I can't seem to burn in my head that when I finally die, I will be able to not worry about life anymore. But I'm more into my own problems than suicide. I have SN ready to take anytime

before I had a suicide method, the thought of one made me SUPER happy and relaxed. But the reason I'm not happy or relaxed is because of my own problems I can't leave yet till like April. I don't want to wait anymore till a specific date, till this event happens for many reasons but I'm so tired of waiting, I fucking hate it. I also have Financial problems I need to sort out before I die. I need to save up money for myself for many reasons.But when you don't have a job, it sucks. I want to learn that the pain will finally go away when I die and I want to enjoy it

I need someone right now but I'm telling you now. I want pro suicide people.i understand that even though you are suicidal or in a bad state, you want to help me but I want support and encouragement and tips. I just want to die in peace and be happy before I CTB. please hit me up. Would make my day.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

Bumping this up

 

[stevieu]

Bumping this up

My head is pretty fuzzy today, but here's sending a supportive hug your way.

 

[k75]

I wish I could help you more, but ultimately nobody can give you that push you need. It's a state you have to reach yourself, and I think you aren't ready if you still need it. Some part of you knows it's not the right time, and I'm sensing a hesitation.

This forum isn't pro-suicide. It's pro-choice, which means your choice to end your life is always respected, but you're not going to be encouraged to do so.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

I wish I could help you more, but ultimately nobody can give you that push you need. It's a state you have to reach yourself, and I think you aren't ready if you still need it. Some part of you knows it's not the right time, and I'm sensing a hesitation.

This forum isn't pro-suicide. It's pro-choice, which means your choice to end your life is always respected, but you're not going to be encouraged to do so.

Well I said why I'm hesitating I guess but When coming at suicide, I feel more than ready. And I know this forum is pro choice but I'm asking to talk to anyone who will support me rather than pro life people trying to help me. It's not the right time right now but I keep forgetting about suicide and my problems take over

 

[Supertramp]

What's your preferred way of discussing? I'm about to be on lunch in about 40 mins and I'd be up for chatting via whatever method is most comfortable for you.

 

[k75]

Well I said why I'm hesitating I guess but When coming at suicide, I feel more than ready. And I know this forum is pro choice but I'm asking to talk to anyone who will support me rather than pro life people trying to help me. It's not the right time right now but I keep forgetting about suicide and my problems take over

I figured you did know, but you said you needed pro-suicide people, and it was just a reminder that you aren't going to find them in droves here.

I think there's more behind the hesitation than just what you stated, but maybe I'm completely wrong. If I am, I'm sorry. I wish I could help more. But as long as you have any hope at all, it's hard to get rid of. I keep hoping my own hopeless problems will magically fix themselves, so I get it. I know that isn't going to happen, but it's a powerful feeling. All I really know is death is irreversible, so I'm not rushing it. When it's really time, I'll know.

 

[Ghost2211]

Sending you love and hugs. I'm glad you are with us.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

What's your preferred way of discussing? I'm about to be on lunch in about 40 mins and I'd be up for chatting via whatever method is most comfortable for you.

Maybe social media?