Help How to comfort loved ones after I leave

[museumofthunder]

I've made up my mind that I want to leave, but the thought of leaving behind people in my life makes me feel really guilty. I'm coming to terms with everything else but, knowing that I'll be causing people pain is really difficult.

I'm worried about my boyfriend the most, for some reason. Probably because he's one of the only people I'm close to in my life. I don't want to hurt him, but I know it will and it kills me on the inside because it's the last thing I ever wanted to do to him. I keep trying to think of ways to make it easier for him but I know his pain is inevitable. I don't know how I can forgive myself for that, but I also know I can't keep going much longer. I've been trying to think of ways I could comfort him after I'm not here but... it's tough. I fear leaving behind a letter, messages, anything, would only worsen the situation for him.

The same goes for the rest of my family-- and a younger sibling, in particular. I don't want to traumatize them, but I know that, again, it may be inevitable.

Is there anything you guys think could provide my family comfort after it happens? Anything i could say, do, set up before I go? I want to make this as easy as it can possibly be on them.

 

[Quiet_Observer]

It would be rather difficult for them to understand at all, its really impossible for them to say "well its what they wanted." But you could try to at least help them understand why you will end up committing suicide. Just my opinion, but I think a letter of some sort would give a sense of closure; but there is very little you can do to comfort the people in your life, at least thats what I think.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally think that leaving notes could be beneficial, as it could mean that those left behind are less likely to be left with as many unanswered questions and I guess that leaving notes is all that one could do in my opinion, it may give them some kind of closure if they have some kind of explanation/farewell message. But anyway I wish you the best with your plans.

 

[wasted__life__23]

There is a question of balance here, of pain outweighing pain. Each of us here feels/has felt/will feel pain and discomfort to a degree where we perceive ending this journey as our only realistic option to escape an intolerable situation.
Those left behind.................the guilt you feel is because you are a caring, compassionate person who empathises and does not want anyone to go through anything approximating your road to hell.
On a daily basis I see the pain or upset my being trapped causes others. I wish peace for all of us. When I am gone, when this shell no longer functions, I shall have found peace. For those left behind there may well be grief and questions. I shall leave a note. At my end they will be free of me and my misery as well. I hope that free of me they too find peace

 

[not_telling]

Sorry it has come to that. I don't think there is any way to make them feel better about it, not once it's done. But as Quiet_Observer already stated, you can help them understand it isn't about them. It's a way to let them know what you feel and that they aren't at fault. Another thing is that you could give each one a personal gift, something that will make them remember you as the good person who lived by their side, not the one who had to leave early. The note can make them understand you better, and a present leaves them a good memory for the rest of their life. I guess that's all I can think of. Hope you can find your peace, OP.

 

[Glandular]

I'm in the same spot. There is not much you can do - everyone griefs in their own way. As the others said, leaving a note is the best option. Explain that it is not their fault, that they couldn't have changed it because you kept it hidden.