I'm sorry you have conflicting and beliefs about the afterlife that disturb you. I just tell myself that I'll have no regrets once I'm dead because I won't exist. I don't believe I'd be happy in any afterlife anyway, heaven or not, so personally I'm thankful I believe in the nothingness. I hope you find peace *hugs*
Thank you so much for your kindness, I hope you find peace as well someday
@hexesandcurses I too was raised as a Catholic, and I certainly had the same fears as you.
It wasn't until I met my best (and only) friend who was raised in the Seventh Day Adventist Church. My understanding of what comes after death became crystal clear, and I feel that I'm in a much better position for my upcoming CTB date.
Would you mind if I ask about your understanding of death and how it made you feel better? I'm very happy you were able to make peace with things!
There is really nothing to fear. Fear makes sense only if it, through changes in people's action, changes the final outcome.
But there isn't really nothing to show that what people do in this world (good or bad, selfish or altruistic, stoic or hedonistic) will affect what will happen after death, whether it will be nothingness, paradise, reincarnation, alien abduction, or whenever. It's all wishful thinking.
Doing good can't even guarantee a good life in this world, how much can people know about after death?
"Doing good can't even guarantee a good life in this world, how much can people know about after death?" Really struck me. It's a perspective I haven't heard yet and it's a good one to have gotten so thank you very much. It did help me find more peace with the situation.
I'd love to give you a meaningful answer, answer but I'm stuck on your same dilemma.
While my family had a catholic background it didn't particularly stick into me, I always have been fascinated with science and rationality and so far they have proven right.
If I had the certainty of the existence of some kind of afterlife, whatever form it could have probably I won't be so afraid to CTB.
The best scenario for me would be some kinda of new game+ or a new incarnation, trying to do better, or fucking up a bit less, however the idea of "losing" myself, all that I am and that I have done really make my burst into tears.
But... back to your question, I don't know if there is a unique way of being confortable while dying, I suppose everyone has it preferences.
For me it was doing so while surrounded by people that cared about me, but as you can guess I'm still here and I probably have traumatized them for life.
I'm so sorry about you and your loved one's experience before. Having my family around me after a failed attempt was one of the worst experiences I've ever had, I'm not sure if that was a similar situation to yours but I feel for you either way.
Thank you for sharing your own fears and frustrations while trying to help ease my own. Weirdly, just the knowledge that other people have those same feelings soothed me. I'm used to two extremes: either people don't care about what happens after they die or they care so much they try to force that belief on me. I also wish I could be surrounded by people I love when it happens, I feel like even having just one person there would make me feel 100x better about it.
I hope you find peace someday in whatever form it comes, you're a lovely person
It's understandable that you would want vindication for what you've endured. I do too. But if you want to feel happy with your life, you're going to have to remain alive and try to get that. I know it's painful to feel that you've suffered for nothing and how I try to deal with that is to try to understand my life struggles in the greater context of things and realize that my suffering is just woven into the greater tapestry earthly existence. And then it doesn't seem quite as infurating. And like you said all the negative feelings however painful now will disappear.
I hope this helps some.
This was really lovely advice so thank you so much! It almost brought me to tears to think about my life in the grand scheme of it all, but not as being purposeless, but being a piece of something bigger and beautiful. It does give me some peace to think of it like that. Maybe it's just my own ego but it's nice to feel even slightly like my existence mattered.
The way that I see it death will come for us all one day eventually, its our only real purpose as humans and there is no escaping it, so therefore it shouldn't be feared. I believe that when we die we cease to exist and that is it for us. I find this thought to be very comforting. I believe non existence to be like how before we were born where time passed and yet we were not aware of anything. There is nothing to fear as we simply won't be there at that point. Fear is an emotion for the living and not the dead. When I am dead everything that is wrong with life will be gone. Non existence is ideal as the dead are incapable of suffering.
What a great outlook on it all. It does seem a bit silly to be so afraid of something that existed long before me and will exist long after me. Especially because I'm destined to die anyway, to fade back into nothingness. Dead people can't be afraid and I was born to die anyway. Thank you for these transformative words
