A
affirmatice
Member
- Aug 31, 2024
- 73
I thought a lot about whether or not I wanted to stay and give everything a shot.
I thought a lot about my future, potential experiences, love, fun, my family, friends, etc.
But at the end of the day, If you gave me a button that would painlessly, instantly allow me to CTB. I definitely wouldn't be here by tomorrow. So I guess the main thing that's really holding me back is the entire process of CTB.
I bought SN, and i don't know if it's right for me. But I can't shake the feeling that I will call the police for help if I go through with it. Especially if distressing physical symptoms start setting in. Even 10-20 minutes I think is too much time for me to sit and realize what I've done, and the SI to kick in.
No matter how much pain and hopelessness I'm in, I cannot predict how I will feel or react after even that first sip.
I thought a lot about my future, potential experiences, love, fun, my family, friends, etc.
But at the end of the day, If you gave me a button that would painlessly, instantly allow me to CTB. I definitely wouldn't be here by tomorrow. So I guess the main thing that's really holding me back is the entire process of CTB.
I bought SN, and i don't know if it's right for me. But I can't shake the feeling that I will call the police for help if I go through with it. Especially if distressing physical symptoms start setting in. Even 10-20 minutes I think is too much time for me to sit and realize what I've done, and the SI to kick in.
No matter how much pain and hopelessness I'm in, I cannot predict how I will feel or react after even that first sip.