How To Accept Being Permanently Single

[lemonandcapers]

I know I am never going to be a relationship, so watching everyone around me fall in love and be in relationships makes me want to CTB more than anything. How do I accept that I will never find love or be in a relationship, or at least how do I make it so that it does not make me want to CTB?

 

[darksouls]

I have given up hope to have a loving partner a long time ago, my ex-boyfriends treated me like trash, so I will stay alone until I die

 

[BradGuy123]

I know I am never going to be a relationship, so watching everyone around me fall in love and be in relationships makes me want to CTB more than anything. How do I accept that I will never find love or be in a relationship, or at least how do I make it so that it does not make me want to CTB?

For many years I said the same thing. I said "I'm never going to find anybody." I said "I'm terminally single." I said that for years. It made me so sad to see friends and even strangers in couples thinking it would never happen to me. I met my partner in a place where I never thought I would. I literally had the conscious thought "There's no way I'm going to meet anyone there." Well I did and the rest is history. You may find someone in a place where you least expect.

You might try to find someone in a club or organization for people with common interests like sports clubs, hiking clubs, gaming events, foodie meetups, religious/spiritual gatherings, politics, volunteering, etc.

As far as your last question goes I had pretty much given up and had become happy in my life trying to form friendships and doing things in groups.

 

[Hime]

Realising the great hurt I cause myself and therefore can and have caused others has made it easier to accept being single. I really need to work on myself before I can have a BF again.

But it's so hard when you're lying in bed wishing someone was being beside you... Being able to be little spoon...

It's like they say though, find your inner peace first and then with time you will find the person you've always been looking for. Trust the process...

 

[KlixxFoxe]

I understand you because I have had similar thoughts and experiences. I think accepting this particular thing is part of accepting that the world has invisible rules in general. For example, you can't blame chess or football if you can't play them.

Or there is another way. Face terrible circumstances in life, in which finding a girlfriend will be the least of your problems

 

[Alpacachino]

I really need to work on myself before I can have a BF again

More people need to accept this before they try to find someone else. You can never be happy with someone else when you're unhappy with yourself. It's just the truth.

 

[bunnƴ]

Nothing you can do tbh you'll be stuck thinking about it

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

More people need to accept this before they try to find someone else. You can never be happy with someone else when you're unhappy with yourself. It's just the truth.

Exactly. I wish all the boyfriends who felt physical and emotional abuse was appropriate had stopped to learn to love themselves before using me as a punching bag.

 

[Dejected 55]

I wish I knew the secret. But I don't. And it hurts every single day.

 

[threeeyedfawn]

It helped me to stop seeing another person or a relationship as a solution to the things I thought were missing from myself. Sure the company and intimacy can be nice but there's nothing stopping me from taking myself on a date or putting energy into myself rather than a concept or another person.

 

[Shiitake]

I know I am never going to be a relationship, so watching everyone around me fall in love and be in relationships makes me want to CTB more than anything. How do I accept that I will never find love or be in a relationship, or at least how do I make it so that it does not make me want to CTB?

Feels strange, for me i kinda just accepted it and kinda became asexual, i mean you could just buy a cat or some shit.
You could fulfill most aspects of love through the internet lol, sounds miserable and cope

It helped me to stop seeing another person or a relationship as a solution to the things I thought were missing from myself. Sure the company and intimacy can be nice but there's nothing stopping me from taking myself on a date or putting energy into myself rather than a concept or another person.

this was a correct ánswer, you can take yourself on dates and such.

 

[vxv.joy]

I know I am never going to be a relationship, so watching everyone around me fall in love and be in relationships makes me want to CTB more than anything. How do I accept that I will never find love or be in a relationship, or at least how do I make it so that it does not make me want to CTB?

honestly i am more of a fakecel than anything. many times i outright manipulated or was toxic to so many of my partners in the past, and honestly, it pains me to say that relationships are horrible only if you are with a bad partner. love is something that must be reciprocated, and without the altruistic lover, it crumbles apart. its something that people try to accept, but loneliness and lack of love eventually creeps up to people because we are simply human.
personally, i have just been working to become a better man. i have only been going to the gym, studying, and doing what i love to do. if a relationship falls because of your partner, it can't be fixed. the only thing that can change is yourself. reflect and move on, become more prepared next time, and repeat.
really is the duality of not only love but society.

 

[tonicer]

I'm a 42 year old virgin guy and all i want is some romance but i was just to weird back in my school days and i probably scream weirdo when i am out and about. I still have an inkling of hope that i will find a lady for me that loves me how i am but with each year my face looks worse and worse so my chances are lowering constantly. I know true love would see beyond outward appearance but i don't know what to do to find it.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

About the only thing that helps slightly is deleting social media, but on the other hand that would potentially be a way to find someone. Perhaps just hide the apps away but leave message notifications running? (Not that anyone will ever message you of course if you're an average guy).

Ultimately it just gets worse IMO

 

[hoppybunny]

If it's not too invasive to ask why are u sure you'll never find love.

As for an answer to ur question, the best way to come to terms with no romance is to be happy with urself. As corny as it sounds. Since i was a kid my greatest hope is that someone would love me and take me away from my suffering and I'd have a handsome boyfriend make me feel like the most special person in the world.

As i got more chopped I realized i lacked the mental capacity (and looks tbh, I'm chopped asl) to date other people.

I'm the kind of person who needs to be alone for days on end. I hate being touched and the idea of conceding my comfort for another human being.

I was honestly distraught for like 2 or 3 years cause my school days were running out and the only ppl I've kissed are my family and one boy that made me kiss him when i was like 8 (so imo it doesn't count cause i found the experience kinda gross)

The only reason i accepted that i may never find romantic love is because i realized money, friends, family and self-confidence can solve all the things i thought a relationship would solve.

I didn't need a boyfriend/husband to be away from my parents or have peace. Nor did i need one to feel special cause i realized all humans aren't special and there is nothing about me that makes me inherently worth more or less than other hunans. And i didn't need romantic affection cause on the rare chance i craved human touch i had best friends or siblings i can hug.

I'm also asexual and have never desired sexual intimacy which i believe makes my lack of romance easier for me. But there's nothing ur hand can't solve if u need it that bad lol.

My life may seem sad to other when i say this but i think it's pretty good if u take away my parents and this capitalist hellscape slowly killing me from the inside.

 

[jan28]

If I really loved someone, it would just be best if I didn't have anything to do with them. I'm too broken and sad to be around, there's no point in spreading my misery to someone I care about. And if I did find someone I cared about, there's always the chance that they end up hurting me instead. The risk/reward for me just isn't worth it.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

I feel the same way. It's a source of great sorrow that I will never find my soulmate. I admit I am scared of men a bit, due to trauma.