Story How SS has changed me.

[nzdarkshark]

This website has changed me - whether in a good way or bad - I can't deny it. The last two years of my life have been miserable. I joined this site...nearly a year ago - but stopped posting at the end of January after I started therapy. I've been on and off since then - checking in every couple of months. I'm on the fence of dying, on one hand I want to leave this trashy earth, but I also have so much to live for. This site taught me what 'pro-choice' suicide was - and that's something I've kept with me, because to me, the pro-choice idea makes sense. Who am I to stop someone finding peace if they've made their desision. I keep coming back here because though we all want to die in some retrospect - we all have respect for each other's desisions - something you can't find anywhere else.
I hope you all find the peace you deserve, whether that be in life or death. For now I'm continuing to work on trying to be happy - I'm starting gender therapy within the next month and am on Fluroxitine for my depression and anxiety. I don't know if it will work, I don't know if I'll ever be happy. But all I can do is try, because if I do ctb, at least I can say I tried.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

Wishing you the best and that everything works out. Be well and take care of yourself.

 

[nzdarkshark]

Wishing you the best and that everything works out. Be well and take care of yourself.

Thank you - I think my meds are messing with my head but I hope everything works out too. I don't want to destroy other people's lives..unless I have to.

 

[Bagger]

Beautiful post, i can relate much. This site makes me feel better in many ways, it has educated me on what pro choice really is about, and many other things. I talked here with kindest people i found in the whole internet. I love this place.

 

[SinisterKid]

Kudos and best wishes for at least giving it your best shot. Please do keep us updated on progress if possible.

 

[nzdarkshark]

Beautiful post, i can relate much. This site makes me feel better in many ways, it has educated me on what pro choice really is about, and many other things. I talked here with kindest people i found in the whole internet. I love this place.

I met one of the most memorable 'strangers' I've ever met on this site. She impacted my life dramatically and I still think of her often, and hope she found the peace she deserved. We are all broken here.

 

[JoeFailure]

Me too, and really honestly also in some good and "bad" ways. I've also talked to and met with some great people here. It actually made me sadder that so many people on this site are awesome and just got dealt a shitty hand in life or simply didn't know what to do with a good one. To me it doesn't matter, I wish there was a way out and into happiness for anyone.

The darker side was what I guess might be "bad". I probably lived a very naive life up until a few months ago and this site really took the blinders off for me, and I remember someone specifically saying here that "once the blinders come off, you can never put them back on again". They were right. And maybe I needed to see that. But I likely won't ever be the same, even if a miracle occurs and life is good again one day. It doesn't have to be perfect though, coming from this I'd be cool with decent.

I am really glad though that I do have people from here in my life now though. I hope things work out for you and you have the right attitude. Good luck!