KiraComplex

KiraComplex

sugar, spice…
Aug 31, 2019
268
My last post, was posted in i think May, i described my intrusive and obsessive thoughts about people hurting me and the apocalypse.

A commenter said that i may have "Pure O OCD", and since then ive been researching heavily.

Anyways, ive been having almost non stop intrusive thoughts about watching television. A clothing brand commercial where everyone is dancing and laughing, while children overseas make those jeans and shirts for 20 cents a day. Food commercials, where everyone sings and laughs about eating an animal that suffered its whole life until death (guilty because my mom makes a mean fucking beef stew and shepards pie and im not giving that up).

ive been listening to a Japanese singer, whos currently in his late 60's. I keep thinking how someday he'll die. Same with my parents, who arent even that old- i have this notion that they could die at any moment and any interaction i have with them will be the last.

i want to stop the thoughts. I want to stop existing. Everyday, since i was so young, i couldnt stop these thoughts.

i have thrifted clothing because the thought of buying new makes me ill. Im not even trying to be sustainable- i have disgusting, horrible thoughts about how im funding people to die in clothing factories.

I just want to leave.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Pisceslilith, AtMostOkay, BitterlyAlive_ and 13 others
Sadaiz

Sadaiz

Member
May 24, 2018
22
Hi I feel you!
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Pisceslilith, KiraComplex and Dead Meat
Upvote 0
ncmxm

ncmxm

Experienced
Jun 9, 2021
232
I feel you also, this world is built on suffering and it honestly sometimes feels like this is hell already, and even if someone is not suffering now that person will one day day and will have to go through the process of realising that their memories and thoughts and experiences will be gone forever and they will cease to exist forever, so even if they haven't suffered in life, they will still suffer in their final moments, it's inescapable
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: PrettyMoose, Pisceslilith, GreenMile and 5 others
Upvote 0
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,101
The world works on the backs of others less fortunate. Exploiting cheap labor laws and such so that people can have their material goods and flaunt their status/wealth on social media. The workers in the factories do not know how bad they are exploited or may not even care because the money they get goes to feed their families. The workers in those factories know they are expendable and know if they were to be laid off, then their families will suffer. Maybe one day they get smart or an opportunity strikes where they manage their own factory, but guess what, the cycle repeats since he'll need laborers and supply middlemen to make it in the business. Not everyone can ever be the CEO or an owner or is cut out to be comfortable in life. It's a pipe dream.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Pisceslilith, GreenMile, KiraComplex and 5 others
Upvote 0
chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Paragon
Jul 11, 2021
975
In my view, we are all vile creatures who sustains our lives through the suffering of other beings. We do it all the time: when we eat, buy, relax and even by doing simple things like washing our hands.

Globalization is a too complex phenomenon which has created the possibility of move the suffering of our actions to far away places, creating bubbles where people live with the illusion that life is good.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Pisceslilith, FuneralCry, Dead Meat and 2 others
Upvote 0
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,139
Yes, this world is a very cruel place. I find it impossible to ignore how much suffering there is in this world, the creation of most things requires suffering in some form. Things that benefit one person are often created at the detriment of other beings. Many people can ignore this as they do not see it in their day to day life, it lies underneath the surface. When I consider this, it makes me want to leave this earth more. I just want non existence, as to exist is to suffer.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: PrettyMoose, Pisceslilith, GreenMile and 3 others
Upvote 0
Gaybonez

Gaybonez

vegan jesus
Nov 30, 2020
208
My last post, was posted in i think May, i described my intrusive and obsessive thoughts about people hurting me and the apocalypse.

A commenter said that i may have "Pure O OCD", and since then ive been researching heavily.

Anyways, ive been having almost non stop intrusive thoughts about watching television. A clothing brand commercial where everyone is dancing and laughing, while children overseas make those jeans and shirts for 20 cents a day. Food commercials, where everyone sings and laughs about eating an animal that suffered its whole life until death (guilty because my mom makes a mean fucking beef stew and shepards pie and im not giving that up).

ive been listening to a Japanese singer, whos currently in his late 60's. I keep thinking how someday he'll die. Same with my parents, who arent even that old- i have this notion that they could die at any moment and any interaction i have with them will be the last.

i want to stop the thoughts. I want to stop existing. Everyday, since i was so young, i couldnt stop these thoughts.

i have thrifted clothing because the thought of buying new makes me ill. Im not even trying to be sustainable- i have disgusting, horrible thoughts about how im funding people to die in clothing factories.

I just want to leave.
Try breathe work/meditation. You can only do so much. One person can't change everything. You're only human. If you think clothing factories are bad, look at your dinner plate. Factory farming is horrendous.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Pisceslilith, KiraComplex and Dead Meat
Upvote 0
KiraComplex

KiraComplex

sugar, spice…
Aug 31, 2019
268
Try breathe work/meditation. You can only do so much. One person can't change everything. You're only human. If you think clothing factories are bad, look at your dinner plate. Factory farming is horrendous.
Total agree with the food… i was thinking of going pescatarian. The guilt is so strong with me eating animals. My mom was vegan for a few years but it was hard to maintain after having kids but now that im older (same roof, going through community college rn) but i think ill try to go pescatarian with her.
 
Upvote 0
Gaybonez

Gaybonez

vegan jesus
Nov 30, 2020
208
Total agree with the food… i was thinking of going pescatarian. The guilt is so strong with me eating animals. My mom was vegan for a few years but it was hard to maintain after having kids but now that im older (same roof, going through community college rn) but i think ill try to go pescatarian with her.
Anything other than veganism is enabling the mindset that using an animal for your own gain/pleasure is acceptable.
 
Upvote 0
Sunset Limited

Sunset Limited

I believe in Sunset Limited
Jul 29, 2019
1,245
The world is a place where some people are sacrificed for the happiness of others. It's a sick existence. I understand you. The pursuit of individual happiness is our way of life, without finding a solution to social injustice. Sorry, you took the red pill too.
 
Upvote 0
KiraComplex

KiraComplex

sugar, spice…
Aug 31, 2019
268
Anything other than veganism is enabling the mindset that using an animal for your own gain/pleasure is acceptable.
Its cheaper for me to fish than go to the store.
Fish dont think the same way as something like cows or pigs can, i mean pigs have the intelligence of a toddler. Fish have no sense of loss.
 
Upvote 0

Similar threads

render
Replies
2
Views
208
Suicide Discussion
render
render
C
Replies
8
Views
499
Suicide Discussion
CatLove56
CatLove56
G
Replies
11
Views
406
Suicide Discussion
babouflo201223
B
8more2go
Replies
5
Views
356
Suicide Discussion
bitofftoomuch
bitofftoomuch