N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,995
I think I am pretty self-centred. Sometimes it is a blessing, sometimes it can be hell.
I worry so much about my own life so that I am not too emotional when I watch people in the news suffering. Like there is this phenomenon doomsscrolling.
Like I am always in this survival mode. It is similar to hyper-vigilance damn I always forget to ask my therapist concerning this.
I am not really affected when I read a huge amount of negative news stories. I rather relate to many stories or I feel affirmed that procreating in this brutal world is no good idea.
Though I don't want to say I am fully cold. Some stories still shock me like the self-immolation of a transwoman is my country. The way people treated her was heartbreaking. Or this recent story about the Ukraine soldier who was castrated and killed. I could puke when I hear story like that. The world is so rotten.
And I have noticed that I should not be active in this forum the whole day. Instead I mostly only use this forum in the evening because this is the time of the day when my depression is the worst.
Not sure if I am a narcissistic I rather doubt it. I have some issues but I don't really think I was an important person are other things. I don't like myself much but compared to other people I also don't hate myself in an extreme way (currently). I probably don't know enough about this condition. But no therapists said something in this direction.
I think I ruminate and overthink a lot. About my past, my present and the future. The fear is eating me alive. I think other people can live more agnostic about the future. Due to the fact the past was nightmarish and my brain is really fragile I am extremely scared about the future.
When I am paranoid I am extremely self-centred. But I think this is part of the defintion of a paranoid person. To perceive information in the way that the paranoid person thinks he or she is always the target for hatred, threats or other unpleasant stuff.
I always worry what people think about me. And I am overananlyzing social interactions. I feel the best when I can fulfil my OCD desires but when I fail my self-hatred is eating me alive. This is why I spend insane amount of energy on reaching my goals. Let's hope it won't backfire soon.
I worry so much about my own life so that I am not too emotional when I watch people in the news suffering. Like there is this phenomenon doomsscrolling.
Like I am always in this survival mode. It is similar to hyper-vigilance damn I always forget to ask my therapist concerning this.
I am not really affected when I read a huge amount of negative news stories. I rather relate to many stories or I feel affirmed that procreating in this brutal world is no good idea.
Though I don't want to say I am fully cold. Some stories still shock me like the self-immolation of a transwoman is my country. The way people treated her was heartbreaking. Or this recent story about the Ukraine soldier who was castrated and killed. I could puke when I hear story like that. The world is so rotten.
And I have noticed that I should not be active in this forum the whole day. Instead I mostly only use this forum in the evening because this is the time of the day when my depression is the worst.
Not sure if I am a narcissistic I rather doubt it. I have some issues but I don't really think I was an important person are other things. I don't like myself much but compared to other people I also don't hate myself in an extreme way (currently). I probably don't know enough about this condition. But no therapists said something in this direction.
I think I ruminate and overthink a lot. About my past, my present and the future. The fear is eating me alive. I think other people can live more agnostic about the future. Due to the fact the past was nightmarish and my brain is really fragile I am extremely scared about the future.
When I am paranoid I am extremely self-centred. But I think this is part of the defintion of a paranoid person. To perceive information in the way that the paranoid person thinks he or she is always the target for hatred, threats or other unpleasant stuff.
I always worry what people think about me. And I am overananlyzing social interactions. I feel the best when I can fulfil my OCD desires but when I fail my self-hatred is eating me alive. This is why I spend insane amount of energy on reaching my goals. Let's hope it won't backfire soon.