How ready are you to go?

[hmnow]

How ready

 

[bellaisdonewithlife]

I wish someone would pick me up right now so we could carbon monoxide the hell outta here. Unfortunately I have to deal with people until Monday, but on Monday I'm thinking of buying the 3 things I need… Unless someone replies to my post by Monday suggesting a better method. I'm pretty damn set on CO though. The question is will I be able to overcome survival instinct and try it this coming week and will I be successful.

 

[Fresh Soju]

Might buy a rope soon to practice how to do the knot and stuff.
Been mostly thinking about jumping from a specific bridge l, but lately hanging seems more appealing.

I have been hyping myself up mentally for many months now, though, so I'm good in that regard.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I bought my rope in late January ish? I don't remember the details too well, but I know the $12 expense was included in my February credit card sum. I also have my anchor point. I practiced my knots (Anchor hitch + arbor knot combination), and I know I'm going to CTB on Monday in the early morning since that's when I'm going to be alone for a good amount of time

I don't really have a partner, but there approximately two people who are going to CTB around the same time I will. That gives me a lot of courage to go through with my attempt. As for the psychological aspect of it, I'm still grappling with the concept that everything will truly be over. It sounds so simple in theory, but I always end up thinking that my conscious is still going to be preserved or that nothing will really change, that I'll somehow still be able to watch anime even after I'm dead

 

[FuneralCry]

To cease existing and be permanently free from the suffering, torture and evil of existing is just all I wish and hope for, I just want to erase this existence and save myself from all future pain, suffering and torture as a result and to me existing truly will always be only suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel.

To suffer in this existence is just the most terrible mistake to me and no matter what the peace of non-existence is just all I could ever see as positive, all I want is peace from the terrible suffering, cruelty and torture of existing, to suffer in this existence is always so dreadful to me and no matter what this existence that just harms and tortures existing beings should just never be imposed. I only continue to suffer as a result of being so cruelly denied the option to never exist again, denying painless death is just horrific, terrible extreme, cruelty to me, I always suffer from being trapped in this terrible anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what, non-existence is just all I see as positive, I find it horrific how the torture of existing can continue for decades longer.