How old are you when you start intense ctb rush?

  • 0-16

    Votes: 36 29.3%
  • 17-21

    Votes: 25 20.3%
  • 22-26

    Votes: 26 21.1%
  • 27-31

    Votes: 7 5.7%
  • 32-36

    Votes: 11 8.9%
  • 37-41

    Votes: 5 4.1%
  • 42-46

    Votes: 4 3.3%
  • 47-51

    Votes: 4 3.3%
  • 52-56

    Votes: 3 2.4%
  • 57+

    Votes: 2 1.6%

  • Total voters
    123
Whiskeyjames

Whiskeyjames

Emotional ->Irrational->Delusional->Sucidal...
Nov 16, 2018
92
How old are you when you start intense ctb rush?
For me it started when I was 25
 
Last edited:
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Vilthuril

Vilthuril

μελετῶντες ἀποθνῄσκειν
Jan 16, 2019
51
If you mean when did I start having a preoccupation with this, it was around age 13.
 
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M

MsM3talGamer

Voluntary deletion
Nov 28, 2018
1,504
Since the age of about 10.
 
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Eren

Eren

Si hablas español mándame un MP
Oct 27, 2018
1,073
I started having suicidal thoughts with 17/18 years, I was in psychiatric treatment for a while, I was even in the hospital for a while, but it seems that it did not help much, soon I met a girl that was my girlfriend for a while. Soon I ruined everything, as always.

I am very lonely and I always ruin everything when someone approaches me, at least that's how I feel, now I'm 24 years old, I do not think my situation is going to change, the other way around, more and more obvious that I'm not normal.
 
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A

Armadillo

Experienced
Oct 24, 2018
224
I'm 19. Been having suicidal thoughts since I was 16.
 
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Norest4thewicked

Norest4thewicked

Losing it
Nov 4, 2018
270
I was 14. Had my first breakdown at 19. I'm 51 now.
 
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Inevitable

Inevitable

Member
Nov 2, 2018
38
Since I was born starting thinking about plans around 6
 
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21Neberg

21Neberg

Enlightened
Dec 17, 2018
1,624
I was 14 when I first experienced this lasting desire to die - and I seeked help. How foolish of me, knowing my desire to die is back stronger than ever four years later.
 
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SelfishMom

SelfishMom

Born To Die
Jan 13, 2019
50
Last year is when it started for me, when I was 26.
 
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Whiskeyjames

Whiskeyjames

Emotional ->Irrational->Delusional->Sucidal...
Nov 16, 2018
92
Welcome to the generation of mind fucked... if I was born into a third world country I would already be working my ass off to support my family instead of thinking about this... They say technologies are double edge sword and hell yeah it is...
 
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Sixfeetunder

Sixfeetunder

Specialist
Jan 12, 2019
319
21. Since about 12 or 13.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,804
when was about
32-36 and im 55 know
 
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Whiskeyjames

Whiskeyjames

Emotional ->Irrational->Delusional->Sucidal...
Nov 16, 2018
92
when was about
32-36 and im 55 know
Oh man for over 20 years that must be tough...if you are still here that means you are a very responsible person!! Respect!
 
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Kyrok

Kyrok

Paragon
Nov 6, 2018
970
I remember threatening suicide around the age of 10. Wrote a will even. 40+ yrs ago.
 
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F

Fgogrl

Member
Dec 20, 2018
20
Since high school; I'm pushing 40 now. I wasn't diagnosed with depression and anxiety until I got health insurance at 25. I've tried pretty much every single antidepressant on the market. Frustrating not knowing how they are supposed to be improving my mood. Sometimes I wonder if I'm in the placebo control study group.
 
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stellabelle

stellabelle

ethereal
Dec 14, 2018
3,919
I was younger than twelve when it all started. I grew up in a bad situation. I'm 25 now and still want to die.
 
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K

kkatt

Paragon
Nov 12, 2018
967
First attempt was aged 13.
Gonna be 50 this year. YES!! 50!!!
I think it's wrong and someone's doctored my papers. :wink:
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
I feel bad clicking a 'like' button to a post where someone has first felt suicidal from a young age and are now 20/30/40/50 but in 'liking' I mean more, "for the first time there are people who know how I feel and know what it's like to be 6, 8, 10 and have wanted to die then and still be struggling now. Thank youxxx"
 
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HelensNepenthe

HelensNepenthe

Thoughtful poster
Jan 17, 2019
835
Attempted at the age of 12 with a dog leash that broke. Attempted again earlier this year. I'm 20. Turning 21 soon.
 
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D

daemonblight

Member
Jun 26, 2018
82
As long as I can remember
 
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D

Druvian

Member
Jan 19, 2019
12
I'm 29 and I've had suicidal idealation since I was about 11
 
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A

Alpo78

New Member
Feb 4, 2019
1
I was 19 when I first thought about it. I'm 40 now and it's there stronger than ever.
 
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Revenge

Revenge

Anima Vestra
Feb 17, 2019
7
Suicide has always been on my mind since early ages (11ish) because I had a really toubled household and childhood. I just thought about it but never had the will to do anything.

Until recently (20yo, September last year) I started really getting into it and actually thinking of doing something. It's getting worse and worse by the day. I know the next day when I wake up my will to kill myself will be even stronger than today. I am 21yo currently.
 
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brighter

brighter

Warlock
Jan 22, 2019
718
17 now, been wanting to ctb since 12 I think
 
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Skathon

Skathon

"...scarred underneath, and I'm falling..."
Oct 29, 2018
590
Since I was eight, as I recall.
An alocoholic/drug addict since 13, regularly add new scars (or reopen the old ones) since 14.
 
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throwaway777

throwaway777

一人、部屋で、独り。
Oct 3, 2018
641
21 ... since 13
 
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DrownedOctopus

DrownedOctopus

Experienced
Mar 2, 2019
246
I've been obsessed with dying and wanting to die since I was super young. I don't remember a time when I wasn't, but let's just say 5 becaus I don't remember much before then. I only started thinking about actually ending my life a few years later when I was like 8 or 9 ish.
 
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Madame Psychosis

Madame Psychosis

Member
Jan 2, 2019
24
I remember considering suicide at a young age, probably around eight years old. I'd lie in bed at night fantasizing about stabbing myself in the chest with a kitchen knife while my parents were asleep. If only it were so easy to ctb with household objects. Ha.
 
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