This struck me as I was reading a thread on constructing explosives to CTB. One member described a case where a guy had built a concrete structure to contain the blast. Then, there are stories of people considering building guilotines or, rigging up chainsaws. 
Even the scuba inert gas method seems kind of complicated.
I was just curious about how much effort people have already made or plan to make in their CTB plans. Also, how much planning. Have you read everything going on your chosen method or, just the basics? Will your plan be elaborate or, simple?
It's a weird thing to consider for me. While I know it's something I genuinely want and, I'm usually pretty resourceful and determined about doing the things I need to do to get what I want, this feels kind of complicated.
I do have SN set up. Although, some things aren't ideal. My Meto is already years out of date. I daren't risk trying to get more from my GP because I think my welfare check will be on my record. Never taken benzo's. Suspect they would simple knock me out so, more likely to try without.
Still, it's a weird feeling really. In a way, CTB could be the most important thing I ever do. It certainly has the worst consequences of everything I've ever done- if I screw it up. Yet, maybe in a way, I'm still willing to half arse it and hope for the best!
Surely, given the importance of success and really wanting to do it, I ought to risk breaking the law in trying to obtain something more effective? Yet, I don't think I can bring myself to. Again, the thought of being caught and making my life harder with a criminal record frightens me.
I suppose other niggly things come in to play also. I don't want my method to hurt others. I don't care personally about my appearance afterwards but I don't like the thought of inflicting something gruesome looking on the poor sods who have to clean up afterwards. kind of stupid really but, I want to suicide as responsibly as possible.
Of course, it annoys me as I'm sure it does all of us, how difficult it is to get hold of effective methods. That's just the reality of it though I suppose.
Besides SN though, I do really want a backup method. That's why I'm feeling all this I suppose. I will actually make the effort to get things together once I feel more convinced about a method. I just haven't really found it yet. I suppose I'm maybe leaning towards CO in a tent in my garden as a backup plan. Although, as someone who never BBQ's, I'm sure my neighbours would be suspicious. Especially seeing as they witnessed the welfare check! Plus, why would someone middle aged be camping in their garden?!! Plus, I'm scared of fire too.
I suppose I do get why it's so complicated. To protect maybe the minority of people who suicide impulsively or underage or under psychosis or whatever. I suppose it also ensures that the person really wants it. Personally, I don't believe attempts using say SN can even be that impulsive. It likely takes weeks to research it and gather the materials. In any case though, while I recognise suicide has to be gate kept, it's still awful for us.
How about you though? What lengths are you willing to go to? What risks have you already taken even, to obtain your method? What puts you off making certain efforts even? I guess those living with others are even more restricted.
Even the scuba inert gas method seems kind of complicated.I was just curious about how much effort people have already made or plan to make in their CTB plans. Also, how much planning. Have you read everything going on your chosen method or, just the basics? Will your plan be elaborate or, simple?
It's a weird thing to consider for me. While I know it's something I genuinely want and, I'm usually pretty resourceful and determined about doing the things I need to do to get what I want, this feels kind of complicated.
I do have SN set up. Although, some things aren't ideal. My Meto is already years out of date. I daren't risk trying to get more from my GP because I think my welfare check will be on my record. Never taken benzo's. Suspect they would simple knock me out so, more likely to try without.
Still, it's a weird feeling really. In a way, CTB could be the most important thing I ever do. It certainly has the worst consequences of everything I've ever done- if I screw it up. Yet, maybe in a way, I'm still willing to half arse it and hope for the best!
Surely, given the importance of success and really wanting to do it, I ought to risk breaking the law in trying to obtain something more effective? Yet, I don't think I can bring myself to. Again, the thought of being caught and making my life harder with a criminal record frightens me.
I suppose other niggly things come in to play also. I don't want my method to hurt others. I don't care personally about my appearance afterwards but I don't like the thought of inflicting something gruesome looking on the poor sods who have to clean up afterwards. kind of stupid really but, I want to suicide as responsibly as possible.
Of course, it annoys me as I'm sure it does all of us, how difficult it is to get hold of effective methods. That's just the reality of it though I suppose.
Besides SN though, I do really want a backup method. That's why I'm feeling all this I suppose. I will actually make the effort to get things together once I feel more convinced about a method. I just haven't really found it yet. I suppose I'm maybe leaning towards CO in a tent in my garden as a backup plan. Although, as someone who never BBQ's, I'm sure my neighbours would be suspicious. Especially seeing as they witnessed the welfare check! Plus, why would someone middle aged be camping in their garden?!! Plus, I'm scared of fire too.
I suppose I do get why it's so complicated. To protect maybe the minority of people who suicide impulsively or underage or under psychosis or whatever. I suppose it also ensures that the person really wants it. Personally, I don't believe attempts using say SN can even be that impulsive. It likely takes weeks to research it and gather the materials. In any case though, while I recognise suicide has to be gate kept, it's still awful for us.
How about you though? What lengths are you willing to go to? What risks have you already taken even, to obtain your method? What puts you off making certain efforts even? I guess those living with others are even more restricted.
