How many therapists have you seen?

[Ambivalent1]

I've seen 10. They're pretty useless. They promise healing and fail every time. But maybe I've just been unlucky.

 

[HereTomorrow]

Two.

Was kinda "forced" into it as a pre-teen so I kept asking for a new therapist after getting retraumatized nearly every week for two years and never got a new one because of waiting lists and lack of insurance acceptance. Literally begged crying that I didn't want to go anymore, but therapy ultimately was a punishment for SI until I was cured.
Eventually got a second one after the first one retired and ended up ghosting her after two sessions. Horrified of trying therapy again.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Two.

Was kinda "forced" into it as a pre-teen so I kept asking for a new therapist after getting retraumatized nearly every week for two years and never got a new one because of waiting lists and lack of insurance acceptance. Literally begged crying that I didn't want to go anymore, but therapy ultimately was a punishment for SI until I was cured.
Eventually got a second one after the first one retired and ended up ghosting her after two sessions. Horrified of trying therapy again.

I told one therapist I feel nothing when I'm not anxious. She was and retired soon after lol

 

[Downdraft]

Near ten. The last one was actually very good. Therapy can help some things, but it's not the magic bullet against mental illness people claim it is and some things won't always be gone. In the worst illnesses, some therapists will be honest enough to tell to not expect absolute recovery.

The real problem is there are barely any standards for who can do therapy and most of them are either under qualified or just don't care. There also needs to be public mental healthcare like Europe does. Nobody wants to spend hundreds every month just to find if, maybe, this one therapist knows what they are doing. Competence should be a given, specially because it's not cheap.

I admit the last one didn't cost me anything. I'm friend of my money and I'm not happy about the idea of not knowing what I pay for...

 

[NekiLik]

I had four therapists, technically five but for that one, like HereTomorrow said, I was basically forced to see by my parents and I didn't trust her. One told me how everyone wants to CTB from time to time, so wasn't really helpful. I will be trying a private one since all of my previous therapists were state therapists, but tbh I don't have any expectations from him either.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Three. One was court mandated after my high school found out about my dad beating me. This therapist was pretty chill but we often got stuck because she was trying to get me to heal from the problems my dad caused when all I cared about was the girl I liked at the time. Eventually my mandatory sessions consisted of me playing board games like chess or checkers with her just to pass the time. These stopped when I turned 18.

My second therapist was probably the most helpful. She was a school counselor for my university and helped me solve my despair at failing to complete my dream career path (animation) but once I dropped out of that school I could no longer use her services. She even helped me change my grades to Withdrawal instead of failure so my GPA was unaffected which allowed me to pursue a different degree later on in life. Maybe she could have helped me more for my current problems if I had asked her to help me with getting girls but that wasn't my priority at the time.

My third and most recent therapist was from the university I went to afterwards. I would say she was the least helpful but it wasn't her fault that at that point I was already broken beyond repair. It's also not her fault that that school's counseling system was overloaded meaning I was only ever able to see her for like 45 minutes once every two to five months. This therapist kept trying to convince me that I'm not evil, that if I just went on dating apps I was guaranteed to find love. I tried and failed. Last time I spoke to her was around three years ago right after I had just had my heart broken again.

The problem with all of these therapists, besides their long waiting periods/infrequent appointments, was that even if they were good at making me feel good in the moment they were never, ever able to help me whenever I wasn't going to therapy. Even if they tried to give me outside assignments to do, they failed to realize that one thing I hate most is doing homework.

These days, the closest thing I have to therapy is using this site as a sort of public journal where I spew out all my nasty incomprehensible thoughts. I also watch YouTube videos from Dr. K or the "Healthy Gamer" channel as it's also known. I don't really agree with what he says most of the time I just like watching the videos to either feel good about myself or to mock them for how stupid some of his ideas seem to me. I truly think I'm one of the cases where therapy just won't work for me because of how defiant and stubborn I can be when it comes to the few principles I have and how wrecked my life circumstances have become where my self loathing is preventing me from even wanting to accept any help.

I suppose my new job covers mental health resources fairly well in its benefits but I'm already pretty set on CTB and I honestly don't want to go through the trouble of setting all that up.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Three. One was court mandated after my high school found out about my dad beating me. This therapist was pretty chill but we often got stuck because she was trying to get me to heal from the problems my dad caused when all I cared about was the girl I liked at the time. Eventually my mandatory sessions consisted of me playing board games like chess or checkers with her just to pass the time. These stopped when I turned 18.

My second therapist was probably the most helpful. She was a school counselor for my university and helped me solve my despair at failing to complete my dream career path (animation) but once I dropped out of that school I could no longer use her services. She even helped me change my grades to Withdrawal instead of failure so my GPA was unaffected which allowed me to pursue a different degree later on in life. Maybe she could have helped me more for my current problems if I had asked her to help me with getting girls but that wasn't my priority at the time.

My third and most recent therapist was from the university I went to afterwards. I would say she was the least helpful but it wasn't her fault that at that point I was already broken beyond repair. It's also not her fault that that school's counseling system was overloaded meaning I was only ever able to see her for like 45 minutes once every two to five months. This therapist kept trying to convince me that I'm not evil, that if I just went on dating apps I was guaranteed to find love. I tried and failed. Last time I spoke to her was around three years ago right after I had just had my heart broken again.

The problem with all of these therapists, besides their long waiting periods/infrequent appointments, was that even if they were good at making me feel good in the moment they were never, ever able to help me whenever I wasn't going to therapy. Even if they tried to give me outside assignments to do, they failed to realize that one thing I hate most is doing homework.

These days, the closest thing I have to therapy is using this site as a sort of public journal where I spew out all my nasty incomprehensible thoughts. I also watch YouTube videos from Dr. K or the "Healthy Gamer" channel as it's also known. I don't really agree with what he says most of the time I just like watching the videos to either feel good about myself or to mock them for how stupid some of his ideas seem to me. I truly think I'm one of the cases where therapy just won't work for me because of how defiant and stubborn I can be when it comes to the few principles I have and how wrecked my life circumstances have become where my self loathing is preventing me from even wanting to accept any help.

I suppose my new job covers mental health resources fairly well in its benefits but I'm already pretty set on CTB and I honestly don't want to go through the trouble of setting all that up.

What are the signs that it's too late for therapy?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

What are the signs that it's too late for therapy?

Well for me it was when I realized I have no interest in actually helping myself get better beyond some occasional bouts of flighty delusion. I take delight in my own suffering and misery because after therapists told me that I'm the only one who can change myself I realized I don't want to forgive myself because myself is the one who ruined my life in the first place so why should he get to reap all the benefits? Besides I'm not the kind of person therapists should be helping anyway, lest they later be seen as accessories to evil.

 

[Shrike]

Four. All were very strange experiences for various reasons.

I don't think I'll see one again. They've lost my trust as an institution.

 

[mrelief82]

Too many … 10th now … one crisis. They failed so many times , and actually whats sad if not for therapist No. 9 i would be in my feet now . And therapist No. 1 was a joke … 2 years taking high money and trying co keep Me in abusive relationship with the guy who was cheatung on Me …. She was just saying … Guys are like this ….

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

1-on-1 therapists, probably about 5 or 6. Closer to 15-20 if you count all of the group therapy I had to go to.

My parents threw me into therapy any time I was being difficult, but especially so after they got divorced. My mom especially would inflict therapy/medication on me so that I would stop talking about my issues and so she wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of her actions. Neither of my parents were abusive per se, but they both made a lot of poor decisions that did lasting damage on me, as well as having their scorn spill over onto me. While my dad has been trying to atone for what he did and trying to make up for it, my mom refuses to hold herself accountable for anything.

It's funny, I really tried to make therapy work, but all it could do is give bandaids to what's effectively bullet holes in my psyche. Especially so because very, very few therapists understand neurodivergence, if they aren't trying to snuff it out of you entirely.

The psych fields (psychotherapy, psychiatry, etc) don't exist to better individuals or the society that they're part of. If they did, they wouldn't exist at all, because that would put the entire economic and societal structure they exist under in jeopardy. No, they exist to enforce and uphold those systems. Your problems are always the result of faulty thinking, and those thoughts always need to be pushed down or brushed away, ignoring the entire context of those thoughts and ignoring the increased atomization of individuals. It's a system that fails people whose problems are much bigger than "I get kinda sad sometimes" because it's not meant to solve them.

It sucks, because the #1 touted solution to dealing with depression/suicidality is "get therapy". I wish I knew what recovery looked like without it, because it doesn't look like there's many other options.

 

[Joker2003]

I am currently on my seventh therapist and really like them. I saw my first therapist seven years ago when I was still in high school. Therapy has helped me in a few ways, but I don't think it will ever take away the trauma and sadness I experience every day.

 

[cryone]

none. i guess its a cause for concern. maybe i should try one since i haven't exhausted my options...but i don't see any appeal in one. i don't think they can help me, since their words are just meaningless to me. don't really want to open up either.

 

[Ambivalent1]

none. i guess its a cause for concern. maybe i should try one since i haven't exhausted my options...but i don't see any appeal in one. i don't think they can help me, since their words are just meaningless to me. don't really want to open up either.

It's not just talking that they do. Psychology isn't useless as a whole.

 

[cryone]

It's not just talking that they do. Psychology isn't useless as a whole.

yea, i know its not useless. still, that doesnt change the fact that i interpret their words to be meaningless. i mean, people say to exercise n eat healthy to get better mentally. its not wrong or useless per se, i just think its meaningless advice to give. same kind of goes for what most therapists say, or to my knowledge. please prove me wrong if im wrong abt that.

what else do they do? genuinely curious bc id like to know whats actually appealing abt therapy.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

More than 10.

 

[Ambivalent1]

yea, i know its not useless. still, that doesnt change the fact that i interpret their words to be meaningless. i mean, people say to exercise n eat healthy to get better mentally. its not wrong or useless per se, i just think its meaningless advice to give. same kind of goes for what most therapists say, or to my knowledge. please prove me wrong if im wrong abt that.

what else do they do? genuinely curious bc id like to know whats actually appealing abt therapy.

Eating right and exercising is incredibly meaningful. I eat healthy and I feel much better than when I eat junk. Even using a dumbbell makes me feel better. Many people can attest to this.

There's things like EMDR/ERP/DBT, etc. It's the equivalent of psychological surgery. It's done through talking obviously, but it's not like a simple conversation over a cup of coffee.

 

[sammiechzxv]

3. I've always benefited from therapy.

 

[kotonearisato]

7. First four were between the ages of 8-13, where I absolutely refused to participate but was still forced to go. Two were between 16-17, until I turned 18 and was able to call it quits. Last one is current, I started on my own again last year in an attempt to maybe fix what was wrong with my brain lol. I don't think it's quite working yet, but it's still nice getting to go somewhere once a week and vent.

 

[Forever Sleep]

One

 

[Ambivalent1]

7. First four were between the ages of 8-13, where I absolutely refused to participate but was still forced to go. Two were between 16-17, until I turned 18 and was able to call it quits. Last one is current, I started on my own again last year in an attempt to maybe fix what was wrong with my brain lol. I don't think it's quite working yet, but it's still nice getting to go somewhere once a week and vent.

They don't like when I vent.

 

[kotonearisato]

They don't like when I vent.

I definitely say it's time to look for a different therapist then. No shame in how many you've seen - I've had friends go through 15+ before they found one they felt they could make progress with. It can get super frustrating for sure. But if your therapist isn't doing what you're paying them to do, time to kick them to the curb imo. Sorry you haven't been having a good experience with your current one.

 

[indignity]

0. very likely to stay that way until I ctb.

 

[Malaria]

About 14 or 15. I've forgotten exactly how many at this point.

 

[Adûnâi]

I find the idea of psychotherapy a weird American fad, like circumcision, drugs and school shootings. My mom has arranged two online meetings for me - Nov '23 & Feb '24 - and it was rather useless. After all, my issues are asociality coupled with inceldom - I never practiced being social at all, and now can't even try, so what could even help me?

 

[LittleJem]

At least six. Then maybe five more who were group therapists. Oops add another - 7 individual therapists.

The first one was helpful in a hard decision I had to make. The rest of them did nothing to help my mental illness or heal my childhood LOL. They also never referred me to psychiatry. But they did all make money.

 

[theboy]

All my life

 

[Bibotik470]

Way too many to count. From 13 y/o up until this point.

I've given up trying to find therapy and will just stick to medication management from now on until my suffering ends.

 

[Life_and_Death]

2
the first one wouldnt listen to me. she was trying to tell my exhus to just "pull be out of it" (dissociation) despite me actively interrupting her and saying "these methods wont work. im dissociated 24/7". i didnt have an anxiety attack and black out, this is completely different
and the second one i 'had' to leave because i didnt want to risk my little brothers being pulled into the system because they live with psychos. but theyre only psychos to me, my brothers are well fed and taken care of. its just me that wasnt his or male. i dont see why 2 children need to struggle with something theyre not

(are we counting the one im still waiting for? XD in high school i told my mother i was suicidal and wanted a therapist. she acted all caring and yeah sure "heres my paperwork from when i was in therapy". im still waiting for that one almost 10yrs later)

 

[sserafim]

Eating right and exercising is incredibly meaningful. I eat healthy and I feel much better than when I eat junk. Even using a dumbbell makes me feel better. Many people can attest to this.

There's things like EMDR/ERP/DBT, etc. It's the equivalent of psychological surgery. It's done through talking obviously, but it's not like a simple conversation over a cup of coffee.

What about CBT? I tried that before but it didn't work lol

They don't like when I vent.

Lol isn't that their job? To listen to you vent