How many people do you know in real life who are in a similar predicament than you?

[noname223]

SaSu feels so special because here the people know what true suffering and suicidality means. In real life it is rather seldom to meet people on a similar existential pain level.

I met a few people in clinics who also struggled a lot. Especially in the acute suicidality clinic. But most of them were positive on the outside. And in our converations they overplayed their pain. Maybe this is why SaSu feels more real.

I had one time real talk with someone in my former bipolar self-help group. He told me he had a few very serious attempts and that many people in his family committed suicide. He was vocationally very successful. I am not sure whether he still is alive. I couldn't find his profile picture again. I had his phone number. He had two very young children and I think he tried to be there for them. But you could see the existential dread in his eyes. He often smiled. Sometimes he didn't say word in the group and just smiled. I feel truely sorry for him.

 

[daruino]

Yeah, I have one other real life friend which is in the same position as me, perhaps even felt worse. I don't know about suicidality though- I have only heard him say he wants to die when he is drunk. I am kind of hesitant to bring up the topic of suicide in general. Instead of turning to suicide he seems to want to turn to a life of asceticism, very minimal and isolated. I think this could appeal to me too, but I have been thinking about suicide for too long to ignore it.
The person you mention indeed sounds harrowing. I don't think I have seen such level of dread in other people. I think others see it in me though. At work I often get worried comments from my boss and teamleader that I look like I don't want to live lol.

 

[whywere]

I have said this before, when I was asked why I wanted to join SaSu, I said that I wanted to be around folks like me and who could understand.

Just recently I told someone who asked about my chronic pain how I was doing. I slipped up and did not think it through and told the person that with 2 suicide attempts, that keeping the pain level in management was essential, now they avoid me like I am a deathly disease. Will not speak to me anymore, avoids me at all costs, so DAMN SAD!

That is the magic of SaSu, is it is NOT about ctb, BUT UNDERSTANDING each other and the pain involved.

I know 1 person who has mental health issues like me and that is it. He is straight in your face and will tell folks that he has mental health issues and again, folks avoid him and it makes me so damn mad.

Like I have always said, we will either evolve OR we WILL go the way of the dinosaurs, choice is ours to make and so far, I wonder and hope that we can turn the corner of understanding and knowledge.

I would love to come back to earth in like 1000 years or so and see if we have evolved at all or if we are still stuck in neutral.

Walter

 

[Forever Sleep]

One person. We struggle in similar ways.