How many others have extreme, can't function, can't get out of bed, debilitating level depression?

[BlazingBob]

I've been battling depression since 1989. I'm 51 and it's the absolute worst it's ever been. I can barely get out of bed and struggle greatly with self care and feeding myself. I've taken countless medications, done TMS and ketamine infusions, hundreds of hours of therapy of all types with tons of different therapists, and too many other things to mention. This is not a choice. It's not a matter of motivation or lack thereof. It's an absolutely horrible way to live. Who the hell would choose this? I've tried so damn hard and for so long. It's a huge driver for my ctb. I'm trying to hold on for my dogs but I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm just wondering how many others are currently experiencing this. I feel so damn alone.

 

[rozeske]

Am so sorry you are going through this. Am also going through this though not for as long as you have, i will be 32 in a few. I admire you for having fought as much as you did. It really is a draining fight both emotionally and physically! I hope you can finally find your peace whatever you decide

 

[huphup]

I'm sorry you have to go through that. I did experience horrible depression, not being able to get out of bed and parents had to come pick me up from school bad. Not being able to eat, having weird somatic sensations. It is horrible and I would never want to go back there. The really bad symtoms were there for half a year. Even though my symptoms are not that bad, I feel a lot more hopeless now. That's why I want to CTB cause I am afraid my case is chronic. and I'm in my early 20s I can't even imagine what it would be like to live through that for decades in your case.

I do not really know what to say just that you are so strong for fighting it and am wishing you the best!