How Many Here are Planning on Suicide Because of Anxiety or Depression?

[ScaredOfLife]

I'm just curious if you're here because of anxiety and/or depression or for another reason?

I'm here because of anxiety and depression. I can't live with the anxiety for much longer and no amount of medication or therapy seems to help. I've been getting help for years, but since getting multiple sclerosis it's gotten worse. I don't leave the apartment very much. Having to leave the apartment for any reason causes me great stress. Yet I have to go to doctors appointments. My husband goes most places with me but he started working last year and I've had to go to appointments by myself. This is very traumatic for me.

Are you a sufferer of a mental illness or are you here for other reasons? I think most people who contemplate suicide have a mental illness of some kind, except those with terminal illnesses.

 

[Sick Boy]

 

[ScaredOfLife]

Hi Sick Boy. I'm sorry that you're going through this, too. I guess all of us in this forum are in some way or another, and those with terminal illnesses. It helps to know I'm not alone. I wish you the best, whatever you decide to do.

 

[Rose]

I'm here for multiple reasons, but depression & anxiety are a huge part of it
Hard to get yourself in better situations when you have no motivation & even taking a step outside has an incredibly chance of giving you a panic attack.
Those two & more mental issues have also destroyed my social life.

I'm sorry you have similar issues, it's a horrible thing

 

[sweet17sour29]

1000% depression and anxiety, with a side of substance abuse issues (which I guess was helped along by the former mentioned things).

 

[wanttodie]

yes me depression and anxiety

 

[Xaphous]

Yes that's part of the reason but isolation is the much bigger reason for me.

 

[GeorgeJL]

If my tinnitus (ringing in the ears) gets a much worse to the point of effecting my sanity, then yeah I'll do it.

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

Anxiety has ruined my life, that's why I'm gonna kill myself

 

[ScaredOfLife]

I'm sorry you all find yourselves in the same boat as I am in. I also have multiple sclerosis and I can tell you that anxiety and depression are worse than even MS for me. They're very difficult to live with. I can't get out of the apartment very much so my husband has to do most of the shopping, etc. Every now and then I try to go with him someplace and it causes me many troubles, but it's better than going by myself. It's like I have to have him with me everywhere I go. The problem is, he's 72 and I'm 41, so I won't have him to go places with me for the rest of my life. I worry so much about the future and everything in life. From the time I wake up until the time I go to bed, I worry. So I can't concentrate on anything. I try to avoid caffeine as best as I can because caffeine makes the anxiety even worse. I spend most of my time in the bed because I'm afraid to leave the bedroom and only sometimes get out of the bedroom to go into the living room to sit on the couch. I can't live the rest of my life like this. I also have bad paranoia. The more I am around people and out in public the worse it gets. I only feel comfortable at home by myself. Even visiting family is difficult for me.

I have my nitrogen tank but am thinking about buying an even bigger tank. I think the one I have will do the job but I would feel better having an even bigger one. I don't know when I plan to use it. Just having it here brings me consolation. I know that when life asks too much of me, I can just put the bag over my head and quickly and painlessly go unconscious and then die.

I wish you all the best and I'm very sorry you're suffering, too. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I can't tell you to "stay strong" because it's not that easy and saying that makes people feel like they have to pretend to be strong when in reality they're really suffering.

 

[been_there]

Your situation sounds very difficult. I get depression & anxiety, but the ctb intent goes beyond those. How do you cope day to day? Do you read much?

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I don't have anxiety but I do have personal experiences with panic attacks (I started getting them after I accidentally knifed myself down to the bone. I missed my artery by about a centimeter) and those. My gosh those are horrendous. I got my first one in the shower and passed clean out twice and had to be driven to the hospital cause I couldn't breathe and was sobbing uncontrollably. I only had them twice and then it stopped but if you had to deal with those repeatedly for the rest of your life? Naw, I'm so fucking sorry for sufferers of those things. Depression along with a couple other things are my main reasons though. Just chilling until I can carry through with it and finally have a bit of peace

 

[Robbyna]

Yes, anxiety and depression swallowed me whole along with some maladaptive coping skills.

 

[Roberto]

Me

 

[famblycat]

#metoo

 

[BipolarExpat]

BP Depression
Anxiety
Isolation
Past Manias

 

[Partial-Elf]

Hard to know, sometimes I have issues with my therapists and how DSM classifies things.

I'm confirmed major depression and suspected bipolar type 2.

 

[Tabbyql]

Yeah me too, I only go out because my dogs need me to. Going anywhere especially on own makes me feel ill.

 

[SHThrowAway213]

I have PTSD, BPD and Severe depressional episodes.
I also have psychotic episodes but I have no fucking idea what causes them.
I can't live with my fucking head like this

 

[Borghesia]

Hey, it's me...

I've been suffering from anxiety and depression for most of my life. My depression prevents me from finishing anything I've started in terms of education and my severe anxiety makes it impossible for me to take up a job or otherwise sustain myself at least financially. I'm entirely reliant on my parents. Some days I'm literally starving because my fridge is empty but I can't leave the house. It's a dreadful existence.

 

[Final Escape]

I suffer with those but also complex ptsd. There is treatments for this but if u can't access it then u feel like ctb is your only option.

 

[Jolene40]

I'm just curious if you're here because of anxiety and/or depression or for another reason?

I'm here because of anxiety and depression. I can't live with the anxiety for much longer and no amount of medication or therapy seems to help. I've been getting help for years, but since getting multiple sclerosis it's gotten worse. I don't leave the apartment very much. Having to leave the apartment for any reason causes me great stress. Yet I have to go to doctors appointments. My husband goes most places with me but he started working last year and I've had to go to appointments by myself. This is very traumatic for me.

Are you a sufferer of a mental illness or are you here for other reasons? I think most people who contemplate suicide have a mental illness of some kind, except those with terminal illnesses.

I imagine your anxiety and depression is very likely a part of your M.S at a physical level. The minute the nerve pain hit my face neck and scalp in a bad way that's when I became quite anxious and now I am feeling depressed more and more. The physical pain and sensations are horrific. It changes your thinking.

I imagine your anxiety and depression is very likely a part of your M.S at a physical level. The minute the nerve pain hit my face neck and scalp in a bad way that's when I became quite anxious and now I am feeling depressed more and more. The physical pain and sensations are horrific. It changes your thinking.

I'm only 40 myself. Not fair any of us are here

 

[Crystal Labeija]

Depression is a big part of it. I've been struggling on and off since I was 16 years old. Depression makes me feel like there is possible future where I can be happy.

The other part is that I don't think I'm competent career-wise. I feel like I'm economically useless. I don't think I have useful skills or talents. Unfortunately, you need to work and make money to live in this world, and find joy. Yes, joy is a commodity that you can purchase.

I don't belong in this world. Me continuing living is equivalent to forcing a piece of puzzle in a place where it doesn't belong. I am great. I am talented. I am gifted...but not in this universe.

 

[MISERYinlife]

Wow it's ashame we are all in the same boat my anxiety is the whole reason I can't do anything because of it and I'm so tiered of living like this mental health sucks big time

 

[Hayalet]

Me

Wow it's ashame we are all in the same boat my anxiety is the whole reason I can't do anything because of it and I'm so tiered of living like this mental health sucks big time

Me too

 

[dvyach]

No motivation. Nothing to look forward to. I feel empty instead and yet very heavy at the same time. everything seem laboured. From breathing to blinking. I rarely sleep. I am up through out the night. I have been struggling through this for several years now. im 29 now, i remeber having anxiety that my parents would die when i was 4-5 years old. I struggled through it. I remeber randomly breaking down in locker rooms through out my teens, because of the same anxiety. Realising that my parents were getting older and would die before me.

Through out the way, i met some one who broke my heart. That was my first boyfriend . we were together for 3 years. I thought i would never recover from that. But then i met this sweet sweet boy. He helped me recover.I was holding on to him like my life depended on it. And i knew that deep down it did. He was my will to live,. Every-time these thoughts-came up I would think of him, and a future we could have together. He made me strong I think. I was struck down several times during those years. But he kept me strong, I felt as if if he was around i could survive what ever life there at me. Anyways, He recently left me after being in a relationship for for 6+years. I wont hold him responsible for my life. My life is my choices. I guess he always wanted the best for me but told me that he just wasnt happy being with me.
Anyways, long story short I cannot go on living like this. I feel as if i have nothing to hold on to. Life seems empty and meaningless. No matter how much I try and struggle i find myself in the same Limbo every day. There is no escape. Nothing I do ever matters.
I am only here because I have a mortgage on my house that I bought for my parents, and the insurance terms has a suicidal clause of 1 year which ends in jan 2020.
If i go before that, id have to take my parents and my sister with me. It's a scary thought. They wont be able to payout the mortgage. I'll wait it out till January.
Knowing that I can go after a few days is a relief.

I have never said this out loud and it is such a relief to finally acknowledge how i feel

 

[Nem]

Yes that and the fact my A-hole dr nearly killed me a few years ago and I've suffered a shit ton of damage.The depression I get now would take out an elephant easily, zero respect for drs or big pharma bullshit
Peace