How long have you felt this way?

[Maxivee]

How long have you been suicidal? Did you become suicidal after a specific event in your life?

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

I've been in the suicidal sphere for 8 months. Before 3 months I'd say it was simple ideation. After I went to uni after years of hikikimorism and covid made me isolated and I did no work, it was kinda the last straw for me in terms of my will, spirit and hope/belief. Also I am turning 25 next birthday and all the youth opportunities will be drying up, also my passions for my music are getting old and I'm becoming more settled in that regard so I feel it's okay to ctb since I missed what I was supposed to be doing. Obviously that's far from all the reasons. What about you?

 

[Rustysoupcan]

Ive been suicidal since i was 12. Im 21 now. been depressed since i was a kid. nothing specific happened, ive just grown tired of being depressed all the time.

 

[sadnurse]

For me it was…. I had surgery in April and either the anesthesia or another medication messed my brain up, I had memory issues, attention span issues, blood pressure issues, and the worst of it is this weird body anxiety that's very uncomfortable, very debilitating, prior to this I loved life and never would I think of doing such a thing … it's tragic

 

[Maxivee]

A lot of stuff got messed up for me in terms of covid but biggest reason is I thought I was a trans man and started transitioning and then I realized it was all wrong and now I feel way worse. I've been suicidal consistently since I realized that 4 months ago...

 

[tieiwi]

When I was younger I used to ask god for death. Had a bad family life and watched my parents go through their divorce. I thought that if I was dead I wouldn't have to experience the things I did. One time when I was younger one of my parents started taking their anger out on me and I remember trying to hold my breath so I'd pass out lol. Didn't work. I think I was always suicidal since 9 (maybe younger) and Ive only really started to feel it this month.

 

[ghost_]

a little over ten years now

 

[FuneralCry]

I have been suicidal since I was very young. I have never wanted to be alive, even at a young age I found death to be comforting. I could never understand people who enjoyed life and wanted to live. I am not meant for this world. As the years have gone by I have became more and more suicidal. To me life is the problem as it is the cause of all suffering. In the case of my life wanting suicide is perfectly rational, it is the only thing that makes sense.

 

[Mashedout]

Thought about it on and off since early teens and now everyday for the past 10 years. Too many people died or stopped caring, was left with a life of lonliness to endure. Tried to find reasons to have it all make sense and keep going, but it just doesn't.

 

[demuic]

Too long to want to put up with for any longer.

 

[obliviousatbest]

Since I was 12, intermitted with illusions of hope, but fuck me has it been relieving to slowly give up again and slip back into my natural state of melancholy. I'm so tired of trying to cope and neglect the innate need to hurt myself.

 

[Niko66]

Had some on and off suicidal ideation since my early teens, probably 11-12, but around 18 is when my life started to get completely miserable/not worth living.

 

[Drewpeterson519]

I am 26 years old and have felt this way since age 12. But in the past 2 years it has been the worst and it keeps getting worse so I know the end is near

 

[Thankyoufortoday]

I started having thoughts as early as 8 or 9. Started self-harming at 14. Been like this way too long

 

[ljburna]

About 19 years. Life is getting harder and looking forward to ending it soon.

 

[JinZhin]

I don't know exactly. But I know it's been over 10 years for sure.