Discussion How long have you been suicidal?

[Pessimist]

^

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

The last five years, but specially the last three.

 

[DeadManLiving]

The last 3 years and for a one year interim period in my early twenties. I'm 32. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages under 34, so I'm about right on time.

 

[ferrie]

On and off for almost 12 years. I've recovered at least 3 times, just don't have the motivation to this time

 

[cowboypants]

Around 20 years, thanks to my incredible childhood

 

[Defenestration]

2004

2004

Shame....

 

[devils~advocate]

Almost 20 years...2004....all based on depression about relationships, career, etc
I had researched ctb before that..since 2002. My marriage & career were failing at the same time.
Ups & downs since then. But Ive had enough now.

 

[Defenestration]

Près de 20 ans... 2004... tout basé sur une dépression relationnelle, professionnelle, etc.

Wouah WE are 3 with 20 Years old

 

[feelinggloomy]

Since my son CTB in 2022. Prior to that I really didn't struggle with suidal thoughts. My son CTB at 22 and said he thought about it in middle and high school and then a lot in college. I would describe him as chronically suicidal … got to a point when it was constant but it seemed to manifest in the middle school years.

 

[devils~advocate]

Wouah WE are 3 with 20 Years old

Yes it has been some time. Many ups and downs since then.
Basically though just more failure in my other relationship and career.
Ive seen a lot of things happen to myself and to others.
I'm at a point that I am ready to give it all up.

Never thought about it when I was a child or up into college.
Just when I was about to finish college to a small degree.
It really came on after I was married to what was to be a walk-away cheating spouse and a career choice that was depressing.

 

[Defenestration]

Oui, cela fait un certain temps. Depuis, beaucoup de hauts et de bas.
En gros, c'est juste encore plus d'échecs dans mes autres relations et carrières.
J'ai vu beaucoup de choses arriver à moi-même et aux autres.
J'en suis à un point où je suis prêt à tout abandonner.

Même

 

[itsneverbeenmoreove]

I think I first thought about it when I was in elementary school. I can't quite remember, but probably between 7 and 9 was when I started fantasizing. Of course, at that age, you don't even really have a fully realized personality, so it questionable what it means to be suicidal at that age. But I started seriously wanting to starting in middle school and it's gone up and down since then, with the past couple months being the worst (best?) it's ever been. Usually in the past it was a more abstract misery and depression, but this time I have been thinking more clearly. Although it was set off by a traumatic, extremely emotional event, it made me realize a lot of things about myself and the world. The key thing being that the world really fucking sucks and the amount of effort that is required for me to keep battling my everything isn't exactly worth it considering what the future looks like.

So about 20 years.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

Since 16, 37 now.

 

[devils~advocate]

Même

I guess some people live with these thoughts for a long portion of their life.
I did not. I always had hope in life...till things started falling apart that I thought was important.
I have learned that some people are positive no matter what circumstances they have in their life.
Not everyone is like that though. Its hard to cope thru it when you mind is your worst critic.

 

[Defenestration]

Since 16, 37 now.

I am 37 Years....since 17....

Regrets to have lived 20 Years...

 

[Lostandlooking]

I'd say about 21 years. From when I was 16 I can say I was truly suicidal. Started doing dangerous stuff and fantasizing about death, also started self harming. But before that I tried ways to numb the pain. Once took an entire strip of paracetamol when I was about 14 because I wanted to numb my emotions. Didn't know that was truly dangerous. There have been periods when I was less suicidal. But it always comes back. More intense after each crisis.

 

[thealteredmind]

I'm not suicidal. I just have a plan. this is my last year, if a miracle happens I'm staying. otherwise I'm just going with the plan.

 

[Defenestration]

I'd say about 21 years. From when I was 16 I can say I was truly suicidal. Started doing dangerous stuff and fantasizing about death, also started self harming. But before that I tried ways to numb the pain. Once took an entire strip of paracetamol when I was about 14 because I wanted to numb my emotions. Didn't know that was truly dangerous. There have been periods when I was less suicidal. But it always comes back. More intense after each crisis.

Me Never before end of 2004.
Strange because Big suffer between 7 and 17...

I'm not suicidal. I just have a plan. this is my last year, if a miracle happens I'm staying. otherwise I'm just going with the plan.

Farewell my friend

 

[BlazingBob]

On and off for 35 years.

 

[Forveleth]

25 years baby! Ever since I as 15 and told my parents I was suicidal and they did absolutely nothing about it.

 

[Defenestration]

On and off for 35 years.

Same perhaps off during 6 months

 

[Cinnamorolls]

Since I was 14, so 20 years now. Though it's been much more intense the last 6 or so years than before.

 

[alicia]

On and off for about 30 years, ever since my mid-teens. It's been worse the last few years though. Started getting severe again during covid when my partner and I separated. Since then I've been going through months-long phases of suicidal thoughts, pulling out of it for a month or two, and then sinking back down. Sigh.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Too long

 

[turbomightbegone]

on and off for around 5 years, my mood switches too quickly for me to reach a conclusion

 

[lostmeaning]

Since I was 12, so for 9 years.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've had suicidal thoughts for 34 years. (Since I was 10.) The intensity has varied but, they've always been there. The past few years have been especially bad. In part because I guess logically speaking, I'm nearer to the point I feel able to do something about them. I've always felt like I had to wait for certain people in my life to die first.

 

[m1ll1pede]

Since age 9.. kept getting worse in high school. Wish my attempt worked when 14

 

[Placo]

This last time I would say since February, other times in the past it happened that I felt better and thought about it less but this time I think it's the definitive one.

 

[Suicidal_manlet]

For me, it's around 3