B

BidingTIme

Member
Sep 27, 2018
11
I'm scared that I'll drink it and then survival instinct panic will set in if I'm sitting there waiting for too long.

How long do I have?
 
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wiroho

Student
Jan 27, 2019
156
Google for reports usually a few minutes and you are dowsy
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
I'm scared that I'll drink it and then survival instinct panic will set in if I'm sitting there waiting for too long. How long do I have?


Yeeeeeeeeeesss! This is my exact fear, too. The time you're there waiting for it to knock you out, when you might start panicking... This is exactly why for years my favorite method was a sawed-off shot gun. Until I learned (and saw the online pics of) how many people survive that, even with the barrel under their chins or in their mouths and pointed up/back. Dying should not be this terrifying or difficult.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
Google for reports usually a few minutes and you are dowsy

I've read this, too. For me, a few minutes when I'm terrified (like one of those nightmares you can't wake up from) can feel like an eternity. I need something instant or that is so pleasant there's no fear/anxiety...
 
mpti

mpti

Member
Feb 19, 2019
81
It only takes a few minutes when done right. Though I still guess that can feel like a long time, so you should be sure you're ready to die when you drink it.
 
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Nitromask

Specialist
Feb 18, 2019
324
It only takes a few minutes when done right. Though I still guess that can feel like a long time, so you should be sure you're ready to die when you drink it.

Damn why did that make me stressed, even though it looked peaceful
 
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SirChuxAlot

Member
Jan 16, 2019
63
Yeeeeeeeeeesss! This is my exact fear, too. The time you're there waiting for it to knock you out, when you might start panicking... This is exactly why for years my favorite method was a sawed-off shot gun. Until I learned (and saw the online pics of) how many people survive that, even with the barrel under their chins or in their mouths and pointed up/back. Dying should not be this terrifying or difficult.
Sometimes the failure comes from ammunition type. Shotguns combined with Buck Shot is designed to spread upon firing, keep in mind they aren't good at piercing any bone matter along the way, shotgun ammunition can also (though rarely) fail to yield a tight pattern if it is old or is from a cheap ammo factory. From what I have studied on firearm suicide, is a well placed shot directly to the head with powerful ammo (RIP, JHP, Hydro-shok) with a decent caliber handgun or revolver.

From my study, it always seemed the shotgun suicides were higher to fail mostly because of the struggle to aim properly and unexpected kickback. There is one shotgun that is well suited to a direct a well accurate headshot comparable to a handgun but I am not sure if I am allowed to put the make and model here, so I respect the admins wishes if that is the case, not too mention it isn't cheap.

Off topic post aside, I have been doing a lot of study on N with the guides given to me and I am still highly interested in this method so I will add this informative piece to my collection as this is my selected choice for if I decide to CTB.
 
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WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,449
Go somewhere that makes it impossible to get help. Way out in the woods or something, leave your phone behind.
 
lululoo

lululoo

Mage
Dec 15, 2018
558
Go somewhere that makes it impossible to get help. Way out in the woods or something, leave your phone behind.
I just want to be at home though... ugh sometimes I wish I didn't read a thread because this is one anxiety I hadn't dwelled on too much but now I have a worry that I will run for help or something. I'll be sure to at least put my phone somewhere else so I at least can't call.
The fear isn't even rational, my mind is just super good at irrational fears at this point.
 
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GeorgeEastman

Arcanist
Sep 3, 2018
470
Damn, if I could just do that alone somewhere.
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
I just want to be at home though... ugh sometimes I wish I didn't read a thread because this is one anxiety I hadn't dwelled on too much

I know right?!
 
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lululoo

lululoo

Mage
Dec 15, 2018
558
I know right?!
Hahaha. I mean, my crazy brain is now on a roll like "ok, so you want to be at home but you don't want to run into the apartment building hallway screaming and collapsing and having your weird neighbor call an ambulance for you while you spray the walls with puke... so maybe you could chain yourself to your bed with a lock you don't know the combo to...but then what if your N is fake and then you are just locked up with no phone... ok so what you need is some sort of timed lock that will unlock after a certain amount of time...."
and this is yet more evidence of why I just can't make it in the world...
 
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Need-a-Place

Need-a-Place

happygolucky
Feb 10, 2019
36
I just want to be at home though... ugh sometimes I wish I didn't read a thread because this is one anxiety I hadn't dwelled on too much but now I have a worry that I will run for help or something. I'll be sure to at least put my phone somewhere else so I at least can't call.
The fear isn't even rational, my mind is just super good at irrational fears at this point.

It's a GOOD thing you read up ahead of time and are factoring in your own survival instinct and panic.

I did not. Never even crossed my mind. Made the dumbest fucking call of my life. I was so close to death and didn't realize I was almost there. That's what I get for a lifetime of giving up early.

Just make sure your phone is nowhere nearby.

I almost brought my ipod with me instead. Phone was purely for music. I figured phone had better sound quality (ipod is over 10 years old).

So close. So stupid.

Fuck.
 
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M

Mistress Death

Experienced
Dec 9, 2018
290
It's a GOOD thing you read up ahead of time and are factoring in your own survival instinct and panic.

I did not. Never even crossed my mind. Made the dumbest fucking call of my life. I was so close to death and didn't realize I was almost there. That's what I get for a lifetime of giving up early.

Just make sure your phone is nowhere nearby.

I almost brought my ipod with me instead. Phone was purely for music. I figured phone had better sound quality (ipod is over 10 years old).

So close. So stupid.

Fuck.
How were you so close? Did you post your story of what happened here? If so, could you please share the link?
 
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Mistress Death

Experienced
Dec 9, 2018
290
It only takes a few minutes when done right. Though I still guess that can feel like a long time, so you should be sure you're ready to die when you drink it.

Is interesting that she drank it quickly, but commented frequently on how bitter it was. I would have thought that if it was that bitter, I would have seen a grimace on her face or slight hesitation when it touched her mouth. I just don't want my last moments to taste bad, but I think once I get sleepy, that will fade away.
 
Last edited:
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Need-a-Place

Need-a-Place

happygolucky
Feb 10, 2019
36
How were you so close? Did you post your story of what happened here? If so, could you please share the link?

I never posted what happened.

Basically I went for blood loss. Paramedics said my face and lips were white.

Lactate built up to an 8 in my body. It's supposed to be below 1, up to 2 for people in ICU. It can be used as a predictor in mortality in certain deaths. Basically my organs were not receiving enough oxygen so I developed lactic acidosis.

Wikipedia on lactic acidosis: If oxygen supply is inadequate (hypoxia), the mitochondria are unable to continue creating ATP at a rate sufficient to meet the cell's energy needs. In this situation, glycolysis is increased to provide additional ATP, and the excess pyruvate produced is converted into lactate and released from the cell into the bloodstream, where it accumulates over time.

Google search on rigor mortis: The muscle contracts when the myosin shifts, but the lack of ATP prevents it from detaching, and the muscle remains contracted. Such a process occurs in all muscles as the body becomes rigid. Rigor mortis usually sets in within four hours, first in the face and generally smaller muscles.

My jaw tightened up so tight, I couldn't open it more than maybe a half inch. they threatened to shove a thermometer up my ass because I could barely open my mouth to get the thermometer in. I answered questions, barely conscious, through clenched teeth.

I have no degree in science or medicine, so idk if I'm way off-base, but from what I can tell, my lack of ATP from oxygen deprivation (due to extreme loss of blood) led to my jaw muscles stiffening... technically putting me in beginning stages of rigor mortis.

That's how close I came to death.

And I had no fucking clue.

I was panicking and in pain and I thought I'd be in that state for HOURS. I didn't know I had only minutes left on this earth (like, 30min, not 2 more and I'd drop dead).
 
WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,449
I just want to be at home though... ugh sometimes I wish I didn't read a thread because this is one anxiety I hadn't dwelled on too much but now I have a worry that I will run for help or something. I'll be sure to at least put my phone somewhere else so I at least can't call.
The fear isn't even rational, my mind is just super good at irrational fears at this point.

Survival instinct is a real bitch, but sometimes I wonder, if someone has a super crazy strong SI, maybe it means they're not quite ready to ctb. I hope i'll be able to do it when the time comes.
 
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M

Mistress Death

Experienced
Dec 9, 2018
290
I never posted what happened.

Basically I went for blood loss. Paramedics said my face and lips were white.

Lactate built up to an 8 in my body. It's supposed to be below 1, up to 2 for people in ICU. It can be used as a predictor in mortality in certain deaths. Basically my organs were not receiving enough oxygen so I developed lactic acidosis.

Wikipedia on lactic acidosis: If oxygen supply is inadequate (hypoxia), the mitochondria are unable to continue creating ATP at a rate sufficient to meet the cell's energy needs. In this situation, glycolysis is increased to provide additional ATP, and the excess pyruvate produced is converted into lactate and released from the cell into the bloodstream, where it accumulates over time.

Google search on rigor mortis: The muscle contracts when the myosin shifts, but the lack of ATP prevents it from detaching, and the muscle remains contracted. Such a process occurs in all muscles as the body becomes rigid. Rigor mortis usually sets in within four hours, first in the face and generally smaller muscles.

My jaw tightened up so tight, I couldn't open it more than maybe a half inch. they threatened to shove a thermometer up my ass because I could barely open my mouth to get the thermometer in. I answered questions, barely conscious, through clenched teeth.

I have no degree in science or medicine, so idk if I'm way off-base, but from what I can tell, my lack of ATP from oxygen deprivation (due to extreme loss of blood) led to my jaw muscles stiffening... technically putting me in beginning stages of rigor mortis.

That's how close I came to death.

And I had no fucking clue.

I was panicking and in pain and I thought I'd be in that state for HOURS. I didn't know I had only minutes left on this earth (like, 30min, not 2 more and I'd drop dead).
Wow. So you cut yourself, or put an iv in and left it open?
 
lululoo

lululoo

Mage
Dec 15, 2018
558
Survival instinct is a real bitch, but sometimes I wonder, if someone has a super crazy strong SI, maybe it means they're not quite ready to ctb. I hope i'll be able to do it when the time comes.
Yeah. I actually think when it comes down to it I will do it when I'm ready and I won't be as worried about running for help. Still will keep my phone away just to be safe though.

Also for me some of these thoughts really are an OCD like thing. I've developed a problem with that lately. I fixate on things that are unreasonable.
 
Need-a-Place

Need-a-Place

happygolucky
Feb 10, 2019
36
Wow. So you cut yourself, or put an iv in and left it open?

Good old lacerations. Nicked some arteries and veins. I attempted this method before and mistakenly thought death would be peaceful because the 1st time around I lost blood a lot slower so it wasn't quite so fucked up. I don't think I hit any arteries the first time.

The 2nd time blood rushed out so quickly it was fucking painful as shit and I couldn't breathe and I panicked like fuck.

...but now I know better.
 
Chinaski

Chinaski

Arthur Scargill appreciator
Sep 1, 2018
3,215
Is interesting that she drank it quickly, but commented frequently on how bitter it was. I would have thought that if it was that bitter, I would have seen a grimace on her face or slight hesitation when it touched her mouth. I just don't want my last moments to taste bad, but I think once I get sleepy, that will fade away.

That's because the aftertaste, on the back of the tongue down the throat, is stronger than the initial taste on the palate, and this is why all the discussions around quelling the taste are pointless.
 
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