How long did you think about ctb before planning it?

[sserafim]

I've thought about ctb since 2018 I think? I only started researching methods in 2021 though. I tried to make some plans before, but they fell through. Jumping isn't for me lol. I'm actively planning again though. I think I'm going to go with N this time

 

[SmallKoy]

I haven't really planned. But I have researched methods pretty much since joining this website, though I can't really remember a time where I ever wanted to exist in the first place.

I think I'm going to go with N this time

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't N basically impossible to obtain?

 

[sserafim]

I haven't really planned. But I have researched methods pretty much since joining this website, though I can't really remember a time where I ever wanted to exist in the first place.


Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't N basically impossible to obtain?

Yeah but I heard that people have gotten it recently. If I can't get it, then I guess I'll have to live out the rest of my life as the other methods are too risky for me maybe I'll just be a trophy wife lol

 

[Agon321]

I started actively thinking about CTB in 2022.
In October/September/August/July I found this website. I wanted CTB until the end of 2022.
As you can see, I did great.

Of course, I've had suicidal thoughts before.
However, in the second half of 2022 I started actively pursuing CTB

 

[SmallKoy]

Yeah but I heard that people have gotten it recently. If I can't get it, then I guess I'll have to live out the rest of my life as the other methods are too risky for me maybe I'll just be a trophy wife lol

Relatable.

 

[Ksmиda]

Started thinking about ctb around late 2020. Started planning 3 months ago

 

[rozeske]

Had the ideation for many years but started to seriously consider it and long for it the past couple of years. Started to actively research and plan it the past 4 or 5 months, a few weeks before i joined this site, it's how I found it. Been doing that in a more strategic and efficient way ever since I joined.

 

[iloverachel]

Thought about CTB for about 8 years. Never seriously planned though mainly because I don't want it to affect my parents so i am stuck in this crap life for now

 

[letsgetittogo]

I've been thinking about it on and off since around 2020. I seriously started researching around 2022, and found my way onto this site in 2023, where I started actively planning my death.

I've acquired SN, and recently found out there's a decent chance for me to get N this summer, so those are my #1 and 2 methods

I've been thinking about it on and off since around 2020. I seriously started researching around 2022, and found my way onto this site in 2023, where I started actively planning my death.

I've acquired SN, and recently found out there's a decent chance for me to get N this summer, so those are my #1 and 2 methods

Oh yeah check your pms too

 

[pilotviolin]

dont remember exactly, just as a kid, i would get this pain and thought "i wish i wasn't here!", ive attempted in 2018, and made some half assed plans and attempts since then, though now i have given myself a sort of timer for near the end of the year, try live life and do "life things" and hope i still want to be here by the end of it. i want to visit potential ctb places to check it out and also hope to enjoy new scenery. i dont know what i could do to ease the pain for the people around me though. and yeah jumping is scary, vertigo is crazy (or did something else put you off?).

 

[Malaria]

I had first thought about suicide when I was eight years old, and the first time I actually attempted was when I was twelve or thirteen years old.

 

[LunarLight]

I've been suicidal since I was 10 (I'm 25), but I started planning my suicide seriously in 2020. I stopped a few months later, but a few weeks ago I started planning my suicide again. And now I'm determined.

 

[dinosavr]

I started planning it after a few weeks from the first serious suicidal thought. It definitely escalated quickly and then it got "suspended" for a much longer while. Hoping to get back to planning it soon though.

 

[Lost Impact]

i've been thinking about it since i was a child and have made many failed attempts , i have plans, but no resources or timing

 

[halleyscomet]

I've thought about ctb since 2018 I think? I only started researching methods in 2021 though. I tried to make some plans before, but they fell through. Jumping isn't for me lol. I'm actively planning again though. I think I'm going to go with N this time

First time I thought about ctb was 2015, first attempt was in 2016.

Have come up with many plans that fell through, due to mainly cowardice or people getting in the way.

Recently have become more serious about ctb. Not sure if I'll have the guts to go through with it.

 

[divinemistress87]

I wish I had the energy to plan

 

[billie]

I had my first attempt four years ago and since then I've been constantly thinking about trying again

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Shortly after it was clear that I failed big in life and there won't be any suitable recovery from that failure I wanted to CTB (more passive than active) but I already decided that it'll be CO with charcoal several years ago - that was a pretty quick decision. However only last year when finally all recovery attempts failed I became active suicidal and I have my stuff for CO method at home, ready, to light the coals.

 

[mochamochi]

I've thought about it on and off since like 2016, though I may actually go through with it soon. No matter how much I try to improve my life, something worse happens that throws me back to square one and I'm honestly just so sick of trying.

 

[Gonnerr]

Roughly 1 year and a half.

 

[Sad Avocado]

4 months, tried with SN, backed out and got rid of my sn

 

[ieatcrayons]

I have been thinking about it on and off since I was 11. Now, i'm at a point where it's all I think about regardless of where my life is. Not that its in a good place either way. I am always planning. Unfortunately my family knows about my past attempts so planning is harder now. I'm probably going with rail suicide

 

[scarletrat]

i've thought about it since i was like 8 but i seriously started planning in the past few years.

 

[LivideLamb]

Since childhood, I planned and tried it once as a child

 

[theboy]

weeks

 

[eternalsunshine23]

I've been thinking of suicide since I was 17. But never actively planned anything until 2022. I'd get better rip up all my letters. When I was planning it in June last year, I had almost went through with it, but my brother had found my letters after I had sought mental health help. Wrote me this sweet letter in place of it. I've kept it..but I almost ctb in December 2023. But got better again, but here I am at 24 again. Same boat. Different feeling. Feeling at peace about ctb. It's just a matter of time at this point.

 

[Arachno]

I started to think about CTB around 2020 and started researching it in late 2022, I haven't really made any proper plans yet.

 

[LifelessStranger]

Since I was, like, ten...
I've been thinking about ctb'ing for a half of my life. I've really grown tired of all this bullshit and I have everything prepared. The moment I have 3 hours alone is the moment I'm gone.

 

[haibane]

I started thinking about it at 10 i would say but nothing really serious. I started to make serious plan to ctb at 12, never attempted tho as im too scared to fail unfortunately

 

[barelybetter]

Thought about it ever since I was a kid, only started seriously planning a year or so ago.