WinterIsComing
Fragile...
- May 27, 2019
- 256
I met once a Girl in pajamas going to group therapy saying that it was like her 3 months vacation, but thats her experience.
How it was for you?
How it was for you?
Just boredem. Days and days of bordem. It felt like prison. Everyone around me, other patients, were not like me at all... Which made me feel even more alone and isolated. Tried starving myself, that quickly backfired. I remember I even snuck in a razor blade in on my second time I went there. Slipped it through the string hole of my pants. No one ever found out. I remember I spent an good while, trying to smash through the big indestructible window that was in my room. Or the time where I got all edgy and forced my cast off, only to then self harm and write "PAIN" with the blood that came of it on the wall... (I went through a whole masochist phase.) Then getting told to clean it up. I have trouble believing that was a thing that I did. Family coming in, and all I could say to them was, "get me out of here".
This is why I get so pissed about that net they're building under the Golden Gate Bridge to catch people? I didn't remember about it until I had been here awhile, but it's like building an actual physical monument to stupidity. The amount of money it will cost could actually have been used to help people before they get to that point.I've been on both sides of the desk, so to speak. As a nurse and carer, and as a patient and client.
The staff at these places are just like any other profession... some are there because they actually care about the work and others are there because it pays the bills. Seek the former, avoid the latter.
I personally don't think psych wards are a good place to be for the majority of patients. Being admitted with suicidality without an active psychosis is containment, and the logic really seems to be to bore someone out of suicidality. Unfortunately that is the exact opposite of how suicidality works, so it seems like the majority of patients lie until the treating clinician is sure they have enough paper work to cover their arse in case the patient decides to CTB in the immediate time after discharge...
I found my admission to be damaging, even on a pro-life scale. I'm no less suicidal, but I am significantly more committed to getting it right because I know now that there is no 'treatment' for people like me/us