i feel the exact same way . my looks have made me suicidal for yeaaaars at this point . being a below average looking female in a world where 60% of your value as a female is based in your perceived physical beauty is so rough . hating my voice , hating the way i look , it's been this way since i was a kid . i always hated my self for as long as i can remember and i've carried this self - nihilistic mindset since i was in kindergarten , literally . that's smth that learning about feminism helped me w . i cant tell if you're a boy or a girl but learning just how deep the importance of your looks goes , and also how shallow it is that women are objectified purely for their looks (eg. being viewed as useless if not physically attractive , or being viewed as a damsel in distress or unintelligent if physically attractive) . and once i understood that i'm not the only one to be viewed negatively as a human being for my looks , it honestly comforted me . that knowledge went a long way . it wasn't enough to change my personal view of myself , of course it didn't , i'm just not physically attractive . but , it helped form my world view and i'd be lying if i said it didn't improve the way i felt . i'm suicidal regardless of my appearance , and unfortunately it's still a contributor , but even having my eyes on the trophy of death , the little while that i feel the benefits of learning are felt . looks are not a person . and regardless of where you are on the spectrum , it wouldn't be good for you to be super hot or super ugly . we live in a shallow world , that's true .
