How I deal with almost lifelong depression
First and foremost , I, myself , am someone who suffered from light ,mid ,severe,major depressive disorder, possible distimia due to all the surprise relapse that struck back with thunder when I thought I was recovering and ,doing better and striving without any warning ,or relapsed in a way where my physical health degraded slowly but surely until disability ,several times . Since 11 to now 29 years old .
But , I will tell you that , it doesn' t now hamper my mental and psychological wellbeing ,my self love ,my confidence,my pride in any way ,since they became now totally irrevocable ,will remain to be so until i die,and will do everything to keep it that way ,wathever what life is throwing at me .
How I gained them?
By shutting intrusive irrational thoughts forever by irrefutables proofs and achievements,to conclude that they are illegitimate , impossible logically and realistically since nothing can be changed by humane power and condition ,thar have no place in my mind ,useless,just harmful and only that .
This is the way I proceeded .
If you have a problem on your image ,and perception of yourself ,how people perceive you, don't rely on it to base your life . This is a mistake.
You should only base your life on your **actions** ,that are logically and rationally possible with your conditions ,life variable factors ,innate abilities,situation and **influence** over people, people you love and respect ;piling up what you think are meaningful achievements to solely **yourself and only yourself** ,become what you want to be with everything you have .
In that struggle and fight that is your life by looking back at your past and how you began , and constantly keeping moving solely forward ,you will gain **pride, confidence,faith and lastly unlimited and irrevocable self love over yourself.**.
You can trust me on that ,I come from a suicidal , broken,harsh background and managed to attain and obtain everything I stated by following this path.
Now we come ,to you comparing yourself to others, I'll speak logically ,if you look at what will call dogs species ,bird species ,horses species ,as whole and compares all of them by differences,races , types ,body forms,breeds diversity,assets , of what they can do ,as in comparing the speed ,hunting habilities and type of prey they can get between a cheetah and a cat that belongs to the feline categories ,or between the types of workers ants and the queen ,you will notice that is insane and irrational to compare yourself with others ,since the unique and real truth ,that they is no normality as we speak,that is illogical to try a comparison ,when we all have different innates talents , genome possibilities ,body morphology,muscles types ,life experiences , environment, opportunities nd the list can go on interminably ,some have excellent brains and become scientists and researchers but have a terrible athleticism,some have struggle in their studies and brain but become extremely fast ,runners like ussain bolt or strong lifters achieving world records ,some have neither but become artists ,and the list can go on interminably as well .
There is no normal as we speak and that is an utter falllacy and lie forced down by insane irrationnal people .Life is an massive large scale experiment,where we are all bound to to be different in every way possible. The only truth and single truth is that we can compare only our self to our past self and see how we progressed ,and solely seeking ideas of what can be possible to try or not from others ,but not comparing yourself to themselves because it's futile, since , again,we are all way too different.
Then , about your identity , identity on yourself cannot be defined ,only future actions can define them since our life can constantly change and sometimes forever diverse factors like illnesses ,unfixable failure ,lack off founds to a point you can't get anywhere and continue ,accidents , may forever change what we were 2 years ago,and you have to adapt yourself to yourself to your new found self .
So if you are lost, just stop everything you do ,go to a place where you feel safe and relieved,close your eyes ,listen to a music that can boost and thinking process ,think only what you want to become , list the possibilities and make plans to achieve them ,if there are possible and nothing can stop you by your health and physical condition ,then it doesn't even if you have a poor level and strat from scratch again and again , life is an experiment ,failure and successes are both necessary to learn ,grow and evolve ,when you fail ,don't be sad, just prepare yourself to make plans and once you've recovered , move solely forward and keep making plans ,failure shouldn't be feared but welcomed since it's what move you to challenge yourself and evolve ,and remember,every beginners never were great from the beginning, so be kind to yourself since we all have to strat from somewhere .
There is no age to begin a full makeover and changing everything. I once saw a retired gardener ,wanting to become an artist but was allways poor of skills and lacking in ability, immerse himself on the artistict world ,kept spearheading and moving forward ,until 10 years later became a professional ,change his identity and managed to redefine himself. We live up until 70 or 100+ years old, so it's never to late , 10 years can only be in drop in the bucket in our life ,our longevity .
How we keep motivated you said ? It's only because we keep moving forward solely to reach who we want to become ,and keeping moving forward towards only and solely that.And we don't care about anyone opinions and what people expect it not from us ,since our life is only and solely ours ,and everything and everyone else can just basically"fuck off",since you do whatever you want. .
About your thoughts , just sort them out ,like I mentioned previously ,use only logic and ratonnality towards everything without any feeling. I put everything on my own scale ,in 2 categories, the first category concern wathever is not logic , irrational,impossible to change , illegitimate , baseless and the second into what can be possible,can be done,can be planned depending the current situation,can be planned for later if the situation changes and the conditions are met , and control my thoughts . I totally ,cleanly , swiftly and quickly dispose of everything of the first category and never follow them ,nor let them develop .
About losing control, I can totally ,relate , once I lost control 4 whole years in autopilot and wrecked by the illness .
What I learn from that are to things , first ,be kind yourself and it's normal and natural to have lost control since your illness ,which plague your brain , is the one messing everything up and responsible , NOT you .
You wouldn't bash yourself for losing your legs from a car crash , when you were only walking on the side walk while a dead drunk tripping crack head lost control and collided with you now , would you ? It's his ,and solely his fault , same with your illness .
You didn't chose to be sick , depression can be retracted to 2 irrevocable facts ,first is genetics that programmed you to become depressive ,and secondly that it's a matter of total dumb luck and medical/therapeutic acharnement or with only therapy for some people that they recover ,and that's a total clusterfuck about how everyone recover and react differently from the same treatment and it's totally impredictable/unreliable and not even an exact science .
So if someone try to victimise you for it ,you can just kindly notify them to go fuck themselves since they are clearly ignorant and didn't any research on that matter seriously . Same with doctors and therapist ,why ? Because they are not scientists in the first place ,and if you look at science , we don't even know shit about the brain and totally are lacking in the technology department to know everything about our brain extreme complexity ,and the more we try we advance ,the more we are we notice the brain is amazing and that continues to be so thoroughly complex to decode its inner workings ,we still can't dentify each neuron and their connectivity role and interfere with them , neither with your genetic. In conclusion , everything is ,as I made you understand , utterly baseless . Everything they are speaking about is just on the stage of basic hypothesis and akin to drunken ramblings . And that's it . Only science is to be trusted and relied upon .
The second tip I can give you is that what you see yourself losing control , don't let yourself filled with stress /insecurity ,and if you see it lasting . Ask for a vacation ,resign if you can , ask a friend or a relative to crash in their house so you can feel safe and relaxed .And if you heal yourself enough to consider moving forward ,again make plans and take any opportunity to can seize or build ,and ,move forward ,and keep moving forward based on your health and abilities that remains on those said moments .
Well I think I managed to clear some of your doubts and all your questions, you can ask have any again regardless, according to what i said t
As a reminder , I had 10 psychiatric hosptalisations , went solely the last thrice to prove them that they can't do shit and are incompetent/impotent , have my safenity net called disability welfare in my country ,floored by severe physical ailments of the illness but still filled to brim with life still longing for more , keeping pushing forward myself to hammer my soul ,to hone it like a blade than that can cut everything in front of it .
And since I totally made peace with death , have the absolute certitude I can die at any time whenever i want swiftly but with certainty. I was released from lot of stress or when it is thrown on myself .
Death shouldn't be feared but accepted and embrassed in my opinion , since it will remind you that you are a mortal ,have solely ,one and only life that can be exited at any moment by yourself or external unpredictable factors.
So just do whatever you can when you becole what you want to become to be happy while we still can.
This was based on some questions i asweared from reddit '. If you have any more questions. Feel free to ask.
I thought i might share as well this here.
First and foremost , I, myself , am someone who suffered from light ,mid ,severe,major depressive disorder, possible distimia due to all the surprise relapse that struck back with thunder when I thought I was recovering and ,doing better and striving without any warning ,or relapsed in a way where my physical health degraded slowly but surely until disability ,several times . Since 11 to now 29 years old .
But , I will tell you that , it doesn' t now hamper my mental and psychological wellbeing ,my self love ,my confidence,my pride in any way ,since they became now totally irrevocable ,will remain to be so until i die,and will do everything to keep it that way ,wathever what life is throwing at me .
How I gained them?
By shutting intrusive irrational thoughts forever by irrefutables proofs and achievements,to conclude that they are illegitimate , impossible logically and realistically since nothing can be changed by humane power and condition ,thar have no place in my mind ,useless,just harmful and only that .
This is the way I proceeded .
If you have a problem on your image ,and perception of yourself ,how people perceive you, don't rely on it to base your life . This is a mistake.
You should only base your life on your **actions** ,that are logically and rationally possible with your conditions ,life variable factors ,innate abilities,situation and **influence** over people, people you love and respect ;piling up what you think are meaningful achievements to solely **yourself and only yourself** ,become what you want to be with everything you have .
In that struggle and fight that is your life by looking back at your past and how you began , and constantly keeping moving solely forward ,you will gain **pride, confidence,faith and lastly unlimited and irrevocable self love over yourself.**.
You can trust me on that ,I come from a suicidal , broken,harsh background and managed to attain and obtain everything I stated by following this path.
Now we come ,to you comparing yourself to others, I'll speak logically ,if you look at what will call dogs species ,bird species ,horses species ,as whole and compares all of them by differences,races , types ,body forms,breeds diversity,assets , of what they can do ,as in comparing the speed ,hunting habilities and type of prey they can get between a cheetah and a cat that belongs to the feline categories ,or between the types of workers ants and the queen ,you will notice that is insane and irrational to compare yourself with others ,since the unique and real truth ,that they is no normality as we speak,that is illogical to try a comparison ,when we all have different innates talents , genome possibilities ,body morphology,muscles types ,life experiences , environment, opportunities nd the list can go on interminably ,some have excellent brains and become scientists and researchers but have a terrible athleticism,some have struggle in their studies and brain but become extremely fast ,runners like ussain bolt or strong lifters achieving world records ,some have neither but become artists ,and the list can go on interminably as well .
There is no normal as we speak and that is an utter falllacy and lie forced down by insane irrationnal people .Life is an massive large scale experiment,where we are all bound to to be different in every way possible. The only truth and single truth is that we can compare only our self to our past self and see how we progressed ,and solely seeking ideas of what can be possible to try or not from others ,but not comparing yourself to themselves because it's futile, since , again,we are all way too different.
Then , about your identity , identity on yourself cannot be defined ,only future actions can define them since our life can constantly change and sometimes forever diverse factors like illnesses ,unfixable failure ,lack off founds to a point you can't get anywhere and continue ,accidents , may forever change what we were 2 years ago,and you have to adapt yourself to yourself to your new found self .
So if you are lost, just stop everything you do ,go to a place where you feel safe and relieved,close your eyes ,listen to a music that can boost and thinking process ,think only what you want to become , list the possibilities and make plans to achieve them ,if there are possible and nothing can stop you by your health and physical condition ,then it doesn't even if you have a poor level and strat from scratch again and again , life is an experiment ,failure and successes are both necessary to learn ,grow and evolve ,when you fail ,don't be sad, just prepare yourself to make plans and once you've recovered , move solely forward and keep making plans ,failure shouldn't be feared but welcomed since it's what move you to challenge yourself and evolve ,and remember,every beginners never were great from the beginning, so be kind to yourself since we all have to strat from somewhere .
There is no age to begin a full makeover and changing everything. I once saw a retired gardener ,wanting to become an artist but was allways poor of skills and lacking in ability, immerse himself on the artistict world ,kept spearheading and moving forward ,until 10 years later became a professional ,change his identity and managed to redefine himself. We live up until 70 or 100+ years old, so it's never to late , 10 years can only be in drop in the bucket in our life ,our longevity .
How we keep motivated you said ? It's only because we keep moving forward solely to reach who we want to become ,and keeping moving forward towards only and solely that.And we don't care about anyone opinions and what people expect it not from us ,since our life is only and solely ours ,and everything and everyone else can just basically"fuck off",since you do whatever you want. .
About your thoughts , just sort them out ,like I mentioned previously ,use only logic and ratonnality towards everything without any feeling. I put everything on my own scale ,in 2 categories, the first category concern wathever is not logic , irrational,impossible to change , illegitimate , baseless and the second into what can be possible,can be done,can be planned depending the current situation,can be planned for later if the situation changes and the conditions are met , and control my thoughts . I totally ,cleanly , swiftly and quickly dispose of everything of the first category and never follow them ,nor let them develop .
About losing control, I can totally ,relate , once I lost control 4 whole years in autopilot and wrecked by the illness .
What I learn from that are to things , first ,be kind yourself and it's normal and natural to have lost control since your illness ,which plague your brain , is the one messing everything up and responsible , NOT you .
You wouldn't bash yourself for losing your legs from a car crash , when you were only walking on the side walk while a dead drunk tripping crack head lost control and collided with you now , would you ? It's his ,and solely his fault , same with your illness .
You didn't chose to be sick , depression can be retracted to 2 irrevocable facts ,first is genetics that programmed you to become depressive ,and secondly that it's a matter of total dumb luck and medical/therapeutic acharnement or with only therapy for some people that they recover ,and that's a total clusterfuck about how everyone recover and react differently from the same treatment and it's totally impredictable/unreliable and not even an exact science .
So if someone try to victimise you for it ,you can just kindly notify them to go fuck themselves since they are clearly ignorant and didn't any research on that matter seriously . Same with doctors and therapist ,why ? Because they are not scientists in the first place ,and if you look at science , we don't even know shit about the brain and totally are lacking in the technology department to know everything about our brain extreme complexity ,and the more we try we advance ,the more we are we notice the brain is amazing and that continues to be so thoroughly complex to decode its inner workings ,we still can't dentify each neuron and their connectivity role and interfere with them , neither with your genetic. In conclusion , everything is ,as I made you understand , utterly baseless . Everything they are speaking about is just on the stage of basic hypothesis and akin to drunken ramblings . And that's it . Only science is to be trusted and relied upon .
The second tip I can give you is that what you see yourself losing control , don't let yourself filled with stress /insecurity ,and if you see it lasting . Ask for a vacation ,resign if you can , ask a friend or a relative to crash in their house so you can feel safe and relaxed .And if you heal yourself enough to consider moving forward ,again make plans and take any opportunity to can seize or build ,and ,move forward ,and keep moving forward based on your health and abilities that remains on those said moments .
Well I think I managed to clear some of your doubts and all your questions, you can ask have any again regardless, according to what i said t
As a reminder , I had 10 psychiatric hosptalisations , went solely the last thrice to prove them that they can't do shit and are incompetent/impotent , have my safenity net called disability welfare in my country ,floored by severe physical ailments of the illness but still filled to brim with life still longing for more , keeping pushing forward myself to hammer my soul ,to hone it like a blade than that can cut everything in front of it .
And since I totally made peace with death , have the absolute certitude I can die at any time whenever i want swiftly but with certainty. I was released from lot of stress or when it is thrown on myself .
Death shouldn't be feared but accepted and embrassed in my opinion , since it will remind you that you are a mortal ,have solely ,one and only life that can be exited at any moment by yourself or external unpredictable factors.
So just do whatever you can when you becole what you want to become to be happy while we still can.
This was based on some questions i asweared from reddit '. If you have any more questions. Feel free to ask.
I thought i might share as well this here.
