Discussion How humiliated do you feel by your own existence?

[ikadasui]

I truly can't find any kind of solace anywhere anymore. Literal grade schoolers are smarter and have more promise than me, a 26 year old, it's fucking pathetic. I have no life experinces to relate to people with, I was a shut in all my school life, I don't travel, I can't drive, I haven't ever dated someone that wasn't online, I have never had any goals or passions about life and I've never gone to college(fuck i barely got through highschool), I live with my mother, I can barely hold down a part time job lmao. Seriously? what the fuck am I supposed to do or say to anyone that wouldn't have them retreating the other way if they got to know the real me? Not to mention my health so to speak I'm not overweight and I do shower, but I still don't think I'm someone you'd want to hug. Complete disgrace of a human being and I have no idea how I even let myself see this far tbh I'm beyond embarrassed by this debasement

 

[rationalis]

Not being overweight is a significant accomplishment, in America. Give yourself some credit.

 

[ikadasui]

Not being overweight is a significant accomplishment, in America. Give yourself some credit.

It's really the only thing I'm proud of lol I was 208 but within half a year went down to 155-160

 

[Julgran]

Not being overweight is a significant accomplishment, in America. Give yourself some credit.

I can relate to just about anything - the only difference being that I have a job that I care about. What's sad is that my colleagues are the closest thing to a family that I have, so I'm just waiting to be unemployed, in which case I won't have to care about anyone any more, and then possibly find my way out the door of life.

It's really the only thing I'm proud of lol I was 208 but within half a year went down to 155-160

Extremely well done, friend

 

[rationalis]

It's really the only thing I'm proud of lol I was 208 but within half a year went down to 155-160

I hope you realize people spend decades and fail to lose weight. You must have some ability to follow through. Maybe there are other things that would interest you.

I can relate to just about anything - the only difference being that I have a job that I care about. What's sad is that my colleagues are the closest thing to a family that I have, so I'm just waiting to be unemployed, in which case I won't have to care about anyone any more, and then possibly find my way out the door of life.

I can sort of understand. My dog and a family member rely on me, so it does give some purpose.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

I did a course on self love…. It was eye opening a bit

 

[Conker]

Humilation..

No, just sheer & utter confusion as to how everything got so messed up down here.
Nonexistence is evidently the better deal imo over these retarded timelines.
There's some unusual questions, maybe even the unseen rulers do not have any concrete answers.
It's comforting to think of omnipotence but I realize it could also just be a mere fantasy.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Every day is excruciating, avoiding reminders everywhere of what I have had and lost and what I could've been… Only one escape…

 

[demuic]

Very. I know that no one is better than me but society and other people would like to make me feel like they are.

 

[dustbiter]

I did a course on self love…. It was eye opening a bit

eye opening in a good way •3•?

 

[Midgardsorm]

Everyone has a little difficulty with self-confidence. But I can imagine where the feeling of humiliation comes from.

I honestly feel the same. I can't drive either, at 34 years old. I have a bachelor's degree in a course that doesn't satisfy me and that's all.

Perhaps it is more prudent to think about what we are not. Lately I've been thinking how much people have their minds closed these days, many of this forum are already out of this group. I don't see here the arrogance and lack of empathy I see out there. The amount of self-righteousness out there is what it truly is humiliating.

 

[miserable_existance]

30 year old unemployed male , extremely humiliated . no one to blame , just my dna , me and my fate . may be EVIL KARMA's in my past lifes for this plight of mine in this life

 

[absoluteanimal1]

31, unemployed, female, obese with no motivation to lose weight. Simply staying alive is a struggle for me. I understand how you feel.

 

[JinZhin]

I have dealt with intense feeling of shame for as long as I can remember and it only got worse with time, I think I have many reasons to be ashamed, but I don't even need any reasons, I jusr always felt me being born was a mistake...hopefully I fix it soon.

 

[StringPuppet]

Sometimes I do, but other times I feel completely shameless. I didn't ask to be on this planet and as long as I'm not harming anyone I don't see why other people should care what I do with my life.

 

[Bleak]

I'm 38 and hit most of the same points you list. But I am also insufferable online and poison any communities that I post in too much. SS has become a lot less friendly in the past few weeks, I think in part due to my being a combative, attention seeking asshole. It sounds ridiculous but it's a pattern I see happening again and again.

I wish I could stop posting on the internet but I have no one to talk to anywhere else (how surprising). I am so warped that I can't have a single genuine exchange with anybody. It's a real conundrum to have such inhuman feelings yet to retain the need for things like company and conversation.

 

[LeGuitarist]

Not being overweight is a significant accomplishment, in America. Give yourself some credit.

Lol true, a surprisingly large amount of people in America are overweight. And showering on a regular basis is good too; sometimes, I can go a week without showering, based on my mood.

It's really the only thing I'm proud of lol I was 208 but within half a year went down to 155-160

Nice!! Congrats, you must have a lot of self control, which is something you should be proud of. I couldn't avoid ice cream if I tried lol

31, unemployed, female, obese with no motivation to lose weight. Simply staying alive is a struggle for me. I understand how you feel.

This might make me sound like a pro-lifer, but social media is pretty fake. I consider myself fat, but apparently I'm within the normal weight range for my height. Even if you are obese, there's not anything necessarily wrong with it unless it's affecting your quality of life or health.

 

[greyautumnsky]

Humiliated at moments, when I interact with certain people or begin comparing myself.


But most of the time? Honestly, no.


The feeling is intense when it happens and overwhelming though. Makes it hard to remember what any other feeling is like.

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not feel humiliated as I never asked to be here. The fact that I was born was completely out of my control. I am not the problem, rather life itself is because of the extreme capacity for suffering. I know that I do not belong here, I belong in the eternal nothingness. I want nothing to do with living at all.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Depends on which day it is. Recently I haven't felt bad about myself at all, being in a very similar spot to you. I just don't agree with what most people associate with achievement/success/pride/etc. On a more superficial level I suppose I wouldn't want to talk about my life with anyone, since I wouldn't be a person of importance/virtue/strength in their eyes. If forced to, I would probably feel some shame/embarrassment.

I have never had any goals or passions about life

Then this is a part of your individual mental framework, your (current) value system. What you're doing makes sense when you value (or don't value) what you do, no? It's not like you're going against yourself, correct me if I'm wrong.

About the weight, people giving praise and encouraging "pride" over that is basically the other side of the very coin that caused this thinking.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Yes I feel humiliated by existence and its big part of what fuels my desire to ctb. Being 36, sick with invisible diseases and unemployed everyone look down on me and I can feel it. I dont care to make effort to be independent because it will not really make a difference. I kind of accepted this lot in life because i have no choice and no will/strength left to fight after spending all my life trying hard to convince myself there is something for me out there that will make me better and everything will fall into place eventually as long as I keep at it. Well it didnt and thats ok even if nobody understands that.

 

[meetapple]

everything will fall into place eventually as long as I keep at it.

That seems like another platitude and something a psychiatrist might say.

It is humiliating to have mental illness with everybody watching over you like they expect you to do something bad.

 

[disillusionment]

I truly can't find any kind of solace anywhere anymore. Literal grade schoolers are smarter and have more promise than me, a 26 year old, it's fucking pathetic. I have no life experinces to relate to people with, I was a shut in all my school life, I don't travel, I can't drive, I haven't ever dated someone that wasn't online, I have never had any goals or passions about life and I've never gone to college(fuck i barely got through highschool), I live with my mother, I can barely hold down a part time job lmao. Seriously? what the fuck am I supposed to do or say to anyone that wouldn't have them retreating the other way if they got to know the real me? Not to mention my health so to speak I'm not overweight and I do shower, but I still don't think I'm someone you'd want to hug. Complete disgrace of a human being and I have no idea how I even let myself see this far tbh I'm beyond embarrassed by this debasement

I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm sure you are smart in your own way, lots of people don't do well in school but are sill very intelligent.

I can relate, I can't drive either, I don't travel, etc. Did very poorly in school except in my fave subjects.


It can be humiliating especially feeling so different compared to others. Like, my friends and people from school are successful and having babies now and getting married, and they look happy, but I don't have my shit together at all. And I feel embarassed by a lot of things about myself like my awkwardness and stuff. Having mental illness feel embarassing, having social anxiety is embarassing. I cringe at some of my social interactions. Ugh.

 

[Brokenwithbpd]

eye opening in a good way •3•?

More so of just learning boundaries and learning how to be strong for yourself snd not for others. Turns out, I just hate myself

 

[lofticries]

So humiliated that I wish I could vanish into thin air everyday. I honestly hate my existence and can't stand to be around anyone. I always feel like I'm either being pitied or looked upon in disgust.