viljalauss
he/they 21
- Aug 22, 2023
- 169
so i'm meant to be having an appointment with my gp tomorrow morning. ngl the purpose of it wasn't entirely clear; i booked it for mental health help and then on the phone when i asked to confirm it they asked if it was about my adhd referral? which if they take that up again that would be great as they rejected my application
but yea. assuming it is for mental health. ummmm i mean i wanna be as honest as possible (and also i am a bad liar). in the past i have told the welfare officer at my college i was suicidal but she didn't press for further action even though i had a plan, i think because i didn't have a fixed date and also i'd pretty much planned to cancel the sn order by the time i saw her (not even cause i wanted to keep living, but so i didn't disrupt other people's (life) plans. that's not really a problem now). but (my previous post is an example) i have been feeling a lot less stable the past two days, was pretty close to impulsively attempting tonight (though it was a new method and so the chance i'd fail, and nothing would happen to me, would very much be nonzero).
my question, to be clear, is how do i make sure i don't get sectioned? cause being sectioned especially if it's immediate will almost definitely mean i get forced to rusticate this year. and, as i said in my last post, i would rather die than go home. (hence part of my reason to ctb in the first place.) would telling the whole truth be fine (that i nearly attempted?)? or just that i don't feel stable rn? or should i lie? and if so should i say i'm not suicidal at all, or say the state i would like to be in which is that i wanna ctb and have a vague plan, and a date but it's flexible? like if i have a chance at getting help (and can believe at least for a while that it'll do something, and conveniently forget how i of all people do not deserve help by any stretch of the imagination) i feel like being as honest as possible would be conducive to that, but again.. i do not wanna get sectioned. or kept under watch at all, really.
something something i'm in a bad place rn, not mentally i just live in the uk
but yea. assuming it is for mental health. ummmm i mean i wanna be as honest as possible (and also i am a bad liar). in the past i have told the welfare officer at my college i was suicidal but she didn't press for further action even though i had a plan, i think because i didn't have a fixed date and also i'd pretty much planned to cancel the sn order by the time i saw her (not even cause i wanted to keep living, but so i didn't disrupt other people's (life) plans. that's not really a problem now). but (my previous post is an example) i have been feeling a lot less stable the past two days, was pretty close to impulsively attempting tonight (though it was a new method and so the chance i'd fail, and nothing would happen to me, would very much be nonzero).
my question, to be clear, is how do i make sure i don't get sectioned? cause being sectioned especially if it's immediate will almost definitely mean i get forced to rusticate this year. and, as i said in my last post, i would rather die than go home. (hence part of my reason to ctb in the first place.) would telling the whole truth be fine (that i nearly attempted?)? or just that i don't feel stable rn? or should i lie? and if so should i say i'm not suicidal at all, or say the state i would like to be in which is that i wanna ctb and have a vague plan, and a date but it's flexible? like if i have a chance at getting help (and can believe at least for a while that it'll do something, and conveniently forget how i of all people do not deserve help by any stretch of the imagination) i feel like being as honest as possible would be conducive to that, but again.. i do not wanna get sectioned. or kept under watch at all, really.
something something i'm in a bad place rn, not mentally i just live in the uk