Discussion How have your discussions about suicide been personally vs objectively?

[nigelhernandez]

What I mean by objectively is that you talk about suicide among a group of people and don't say that you're suicidal personally but ask what people think about it and bring up questions like, should people have the right to suicide, what are the pros/cons of suicide?

Personally is where you bring up the topic of you wanting to kill yourself with others.

I've found that in both these instances, people I've talked to react VERY badly towards suicide saying "it's selfish", "it's the easy way out".

 

[BigLucs]

I've always loved the "it's selfish" argument. I mean is it not selfish of you to want to keep me alive when I don't want to be?? Of course it's the easy way out, life sucks.

 

[Nolye]

I can't speak for the "personal" part of the question, since I would never tell anyone I'm suicidal, but I had conversations about this with a lot of people.

What I gathered is basically this: suicide is okay only if the person doing it is physically very ill (like if they have cancer) and can't cope with the pain anymore, or very old (assisted suicide). There is no in between.

If someone is young or suffers from a mental illness, then suicide is "never the answer", "a permanent solution to a temporary problem", "the easy way out, because life is supposed to be hard" and "just passing your pain to other people". It's honestly fascinating.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

"it's selfish", "it's the easy way out"

Yuck I always hate when people say that because they are ignorant and stupid! First of all it´s not selfish because No one asked to be born so everyone has the right to die, secondly for most people it´s not an easy way out many struggle with SI or failed attempts I almost wish these people who say this crap would become suicidal and see that it is in fact NOT the easy way out.

 

[deadpixels]

When talking about it personally, people always think I'm joking and objectively, I get overwhelmed by pro-life propaganda. I don't talk about it anymore.

 

[fantasy_function]

personally: some years ago, i was very open--2 the point of being a fucking asshole--about me eventually ctb 2 my ex-gf. she tried 2 tolerate it as best as she could, but she didn't see things from my end, n i couldn't see things from hers @ the time. my arguments @ the time were that some people have a shittier quality of life than others as it goes on n that it's a personal choice n my right 2 end it as i saw fit, her argument was that this line of reasoning made little sense 2 her n she didn't want me gone. although she never said it 2 me outright, i'm certain she thought me very selfish 4 doing it, n i think she was hurt significantly by the fact that i wanted 2 die more than i wanted 2 stick around and be with her. this was years ago; i still wish i'd never said anything. if people care deeply about u, they're likely to be hurt by it, as they inevitably take ur decision 2 ctb personally--they don't want u 2 leave em, n i can imagine it's real hurtful 2 have some1 u love choose death over u.

objectively: i got into a drunk debate w a friend regarding suicide, my pros: some people suffer in a way that the only was forward 4 em is out, it's a personal choice, n if it's well thought-out n not hasty it can be a pleasant means 2 an inevitable end. she started crying, told me 1 of her friends was suicidal (not referring 2 me) n if that friend ever went thru with it she'd be pissed n upset beyond belief--it'd be such a selfish thing 2 do, n a horrible waste of potential, n how are things supposed 2 get better if u don't give em the chance? i didn't want 2 upset her further so i dropped it.

TLDR; same, op. personally n objectively, nobody i've spoken 2 sees it from my side of things n the people i've talked 2 think it's a selfish thing 2 do

 

[gnomeboy17]

I can't speak for the "personal" part of the question, since I would never tell anyone I'm suicidal, but I had conversations about this with a lot of people.

What I gathered is basically this: suicide is okay only if the person doing it is physically very ill (like if they have cancer) and can't cope with the pain anymore, or very old (assisted suicide). There is no in between.

If someone is young or suffers from a mental illness, then suicide is "never the answer", "a permanent solution to a temporary problem", "the easy way out, because life is supposed to be hard" and "just passing your pain to other people". It's honestly fascinating.

Yeah this has happened to me, i find it odd that people can understand that there could be a physical pain so bad you want to die, and then not see it's the same with mental pain.

 

[Nolye]

Yeah this has happened to me, i find it odd that people can understand that there could be a physical pain so bad you want to die, and then not see it's the same with mental pain.

I agree. I said it on another thread, but I think it's because something like cancer, ALS and other physical illnesses are tangible. Other people can see them. Things like depression, anxiety, PTSD or bipolar disorders can only be felt by you. Even if they are physically debilitating, people don't believe you. You can't win.