Discussion How has mental illness affected your family and social life?

[postmortem]

I live in a country where mental illness is considered a myth. When I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I feared telling my family and friends because of the ridicule I would face. And I was right in doing so, because the minute word got out that I was on medication, my friends abandoned me and I started getting into frequent fights with my family members. My father, who was also later diagnosed with OCD, did not understand my panic attacks or mood swings. One day, after years of silently enduring emotional abuse, I put my foot down and I left home with my mother (the only earning member of the family) and brother and demanded that my father move out and seek professional help.

My father left home and I thought I'd be okay, but I was wrong. I slowly trudged deeper into my depression and when my mother suddenly announced that he'd be returning, I cut everyone off. A month later, I tried to CTB and landed up in a psych ward. I was told that my depression and anxiety were underlying symptoms of BPD and MDD and I was diagnosed with both.

Since then, all my family members (immediate and extended) have come to distrust me. Though I pretend to be okay, they treat me as someone who only does things to seek attention and the worst thing is - I get compared to my father. No one likes me now, not even my cousin who I came out to last year (another big deal in my country).

My friends have also stopped talking to me, either because I pushed them away or because they pushed me away. I haven't talked to any of my friends in months. I'm sick of letting people down.

So this is how my mental illness has affected my family life and social life. What about you?

 

[Imustdevourthe]

I've lost everyone in my life. My family and i dont get along. I feel my adopted mothers intenions have never been genuine. But maybe yhats my mental illness.The father of my child doesn't love me or want anything to do with me.Even when we touched last night...i felt no love inside him and it kills me. I cant function. Evetything is a chore
I'm not motivated to work...i could go on and on

 

[Scribble Fan]

It's a deep shame people are so ignorant towards mental illness.

Abusive grandparents caused my "mother" to be mentally ill who then abused me, giving me plenty of problems. Anxiety made it extremely difficult to connect and make friends, depression ate up the last of my relationships. At least I have my younger brother, I don't really speak with anyone else much.

I'd say mental illness helped destroy my family and social life.

 

[postmortem]

I've lost everyone in my life. My family and i dont get along. I feel my adopted mothers intenions have never been genuine. But maybe yhats my mental illness.The father of my child doesn't love me or want anything to do with me.Even when we touched last night...i felt no love inside him and it kills me. I cant function. Evetything is a chore
I'm not motivated to work...i could go on and on

I hope things improve for you soon. I'm always here to talk if you want.

It's a deep shame people are so ignorant towards mental illness.

Abusive grandparents caused my "mother" to be mentally ill who then abused me, giving me plenty of problems. Anxiety made it extremely difficult to connect and make friends, depression ate up the last of my relationships. At least I have my younger brother, I don't really speak with anyone else much.

I'd say mental illness helped destroy my family and social life.

At least we have this safe space to talk about our issues.

I'm sorry for what you've been through. I know from personal experience what abuse does to people. Welcome to the forum and I hope things improve for you soon.

 

[HelpPlease]

I'm stuck in the house I scream out uncontrollably I have medication induced brain damage

 

[Tabbyql]

Messed up becoming a vet, pushed all my friends away as my anxiety and depression doesn't let me do anything. Now spend 98% of my time hidden at home. My bf who is my named carer on all my mental health team care plans. Doesn't believe in mental illness, despite being with me at all my psychiatrists appointments. My "mother" and siblings all suffer from mental illness, but despite this act like mine doesn't exist. I suffered all my life with alot of mental health issues. I only trusted the nhs to help me after my last attempt july 2017, got diagnosed and saw a glimmer of hope. That maybe I would have a life for the first time. But that's when I found out how little my partner gives a f*** and my "family" So I went back into my self pretending im fine, went off my meds.and am being forced to go back to work by my partner, when I feel my illnesses are getting worse. Because everyone knows money is more important than a human life lol. I also found that when I was told I had bpd, everything I did or said was treated like I was just trying to get attention. They threw me out of my treatment because I couldn't leave the house for appointments. They knew I struggled to go out, I sent a text to my psych nurse begging for help but I was still let go. So no family no social life. Yay. Sorry if I went off topic or went on too long.

 

[not_a_robot]

Mental illness has affected my social life positively, by letting me decide not to have one.
But when I was trying to have one, it was miserable. Torture. Absolute Hell.
Ditto for Family.

Messed up becoming a vet, pushed all my friends away as my anxiety and depression doesn't let me do anything. Now spend 98% of my time hidden at home. My bf who is my named carer on all my mental health team care plans. Doesn't believe in mental illness, despite being with me at all my psychiatrists appointments. My "mother" and siblings all suffer from mental illness, but despite this act like mine doesn't exist. I suffered all my life with alot of mental health issues. I only trusted the nhs to help me after my last attempt july 2017, got diagnosed and saw a glimmer of hope. That maybe I would have a life for the first time. But that's when I found out how little my partner gives a f*** and my "family" So I went back into my self pretending im fine, went off my meds.and am being forced to go back to work by my partner, when I feel my illnesses are getting worse. Because everyone knows money is more important than a human life lol. I also found that when I was told I had bpd, everything I did or said was treated like I was just trying to get attention. They threw me out of my treatment because I couldn't leave the house for appointments. They knew I struggled to go out, I sent a text to my psych nurse begging for help but I was still let go. So no family no social life. Yay. Sorry if I went off topic or went on too long.

lol. Calling someone who struggles to endure human company "bpd/attention seeker" is a shrink's favorite nasty trick to play on patients they hate. Also calling a patient whose intellect intimidates them "delusional" so they'll never be taken seriously.
Been there. So sorry it happened to you too.

 

[Jen Erik]

I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

I've been coping with mental illness for so many years now. I know I have alienated nearly everyone I know. It really has been quite devastating, from the perspective of how damaged it has made me. I feel okay about not interacting in real life with people, because the symptoms of my mental illness are so impairing, but as I get older, I can see isolating is not really in my best interest from a practical point of view. But now I feel like it's too late to change that, and my future is just sliding down a hill.

 

[postmortem]

I'm stuck in the house I scream out uncontrollably I have medication induced brain damage

I'm sorry you had to go through this. Hope things get better soon. .

Messed up becoming a vet, pushed all my friends away as my anxiety and depression doesn't let me do anything. Now spend 98% of my time hidden at home. My bf who is my named carer on all my mental health team care plans. Doesn't believe in mental illness, despite being with me at all my psychiatrists appointments. My "mother" and siblings all suffer from mental illness, but despite this act like mine doesn't exist. I suffered all my life with alot of mental health issues. I only trusted the nhs to help me after my last attempt july 2017, got diagnosed and saw a glimmer of hope. That maybe I would have a life for the first time. But that's when I found out how little my partner gives a f*** and my "family" So I went back into my self pretending im fine, went off my meds.and am being forced to go back to work by my partner, when I feel my illnesses are getting worse. Because everyone knows money is more important than a human life lol. I also found that when I was told I had bpd, everything I did or said was treated like I was just trying to get attention. They threw me out of my treatment because I couldn't leave the house for appointments. They knew I struggled to go out, I sent a text to my psych nurse begging for help but I was still let go. So no family no social life. Yay. Sorry if I went off topic or went on too long.

You didn't go off topic or too long. Mental illness is treated as a burden when no one would blame a person with diabetes for having diabetes. Just because they can't "see" it (they can but they don't accept it), they term it as laziness or attention-seeking. I hope you find better facilities, friend.

I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

I've been coping with mental illness for so many years now. I know I have alienated nearly everyone I know. It really has been quite devastating, from the perspective of how damaged it has made me. I feel okay about not interacting in real life with people, because the symptoms of my mental illness are so impairing, but as I get older, I can see isolating is not really in my best interest from a practical point of view. But now I feel like it's too late to change that, and my future is just sliding down a hill.

I feel the same. I have developed serious trust issues and commitment issues after years of isolation. I'm trying to get back out there, but it isn't the easiest. I hope things change for you.

Mental illness has affected my social life positively, by letting me decide not to have one.
But when I was trying to have one, it was miserable. Torture. Absolute Hell.
Ditto for Family.

lol. Calling someone who struggles to endure human company "bpd/attention seeker" is a shrink's favorite nasty trick to play on patients they hate. Also calling a patient whose intellect intimidates them "delusional" so they'll never be taken seriously.
Been there. So sorry it happened to you too.

I'm glad that there's been a positive impact on you.

I remember when I was first reading up on BPD, and I came across this hate article about how mentally ill people and people with BPD especially are demons and attention seekers. My shrink was also very careful about using the word BPD around me because of it's "negative connotations" and that's kind of unprofessional.

 

[Taylored]

My mental illnesses destroyed my social life I always ended up attacking the people who came to help. It ruined everything.

 

[TAW122]

Absolutely, my social anxiety, depression, Aspergers, all wreck havoc on my family and social life. I was the black sheep of my family growing up, my parents had a hard time raising me and I would often get into trouble in public, at home, and my life overall was hell.

 

[postmortem]

My mental illnesses destroyed my social life I always ended up attacking the people who came to help. It ruined everything.

This happened to me as well. I always felt like I was being pitied or ridiculed.

Absolutely, my social anxiety, depression, Aspergers, all wreck havoc on my family and social life. I was the black sheep of my family growing up, my parents had a hard time raising me and I would often get into trouble in public, at home, and my life overall was hell.

Did things get better afterwards?

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

It's effected me immensely.

And, I feel as if I am a burden not only to my family, but to my friends as well. They deserved better imo.

 

[postmortem]

It's effected me immensely.

And, I feel as if I am a burden not only to my family, but to my friends as well. They deserved better imo.

I understand. I hope things get better in the future.

 

[GeorgeJL]

Everyone in my family supports me regardless of my mental illness. I told my sister that I spend a lot of time on the suicide forum but that I have no intentions of taking my life any time soon, and that it would have to get a lot worse before I would end it. And she showed that she was concerned, so we talked extra on the phone. I've told my friends too, and they don't really care because it doesn't effect me that much. My closest friend takes medication himself. My other friend uses weed so he knows the effects of chemicals on the brain and body. All my friends and family know how important mental illness is and none of them treat me any less. So in that regard I am very fortunate. BTW I have attempted suicide in the past and they know that.

But what I would say to you @postmortem is that when I was a child it wasn't that way. When I was a child mental illness was stigmatized. My father didn't believe in seeing psychiatrists, or psychologists, he said something like the mental illnesses are just labels on a book. They don't mean anything really. My father is now dead, but I am sure if he was still alive that he would have even changed his mind. Everyone in my family and friends went from complete ignorance about mental illness to acceptance. So things can change in the coming decades. If you really want support from those that stigmatize you I would show your friends and family evidence that our actions are directly connected to our genetics, brain function, hormones, and chemicals. You are one of the few people that understand this in your country. You should speak up and enlighten them. And if they make fun of you, then you make fun of them in a friendly joking way how they don't get it, or shun them completely until they do get it. You can point out how people change under the influence of drugs, or weed, or alcohol. Then you can point out how the brain changes the way we think from when we are a baby and how the brain goes through predictable changes until they die in old age. Anyway you get the idea. I hope you can get the support you need my friend.

 

[postmortem]

Everyone in my family supports me regardless of my mental illness. I told my sister that I spend a lot of time on the suicide forum but that I have no intentions of taking my life any time soon, and that it would have to get a lot worse before I would end it. And she showed that she was concerned, so we talked extra on the phone. I've told my friends too, and they don't really care because it doesn't effect me that much. My closest friend takes medication himself. My other friend uses weed so he knows the effects of chemicals on the brain and body. All my friends and family know how important mental illness is and none of them treat me any less. So in that regard I am very fortunate. BTW I have attempted suicide in the past and they know that.

But what I would say to you @postmortem is that when I was a child it wasn't that way. When I was a child mental illness was stigmatized. My father didn't believe in seeing psychiatrists, or psychologists, he said something like the mental illnesses are just labels on a book. They don't mean anything really. My father is now dead, but I am sure if he was still alive that he would have even changed his mind. Everyone in my family and friends went from complete ignorance about mental illness to acceptance. So things can change in the coming decades. If you really want support from those that stigmatize you I would show your friends and family evidence that our actions are directly connected to our genetics, brain function, hormones, and chemicals. You are one of the few people that understand this in your country. You should speak up and enlighten them. And if they make fun of you, then you make fun of them in a friendly joking way how they don't get it, or shun them completely until they do get it. You can point out how people change under the influence of drugs, or weed, or alcohol. Then you can point out how the brain changes the way we think from when we are a baby and how the brain goes through predictable changes until they die in old age. Anyway you get the idea. I hope you can get the support you need my friend.

I'm glad your family supports you in your quest. I hope things do change in the coming decades.

As for the part I play, I try repeatedly to educate my parents and what friends I make about mental illness, but trying to break that wall in their minds that society has created proves to be a much harder task than I thought. If I survive this year, and go on to do something with my life, I'll devote it to educating people about this thing.

Thanks for your kind words!