![BreathOnAMirror](/data/avatars/l/45/45026.jpg?1671692176)
BreathOnAMirror
trying my best
- Dec 18, 2022
- 21
To start off with, I know I'm a lot more fortunate than most people here to even have friends, some people here have no one, some people here have less than no one, but to me having people who love and care about me is in some ways worse than having no one at all, if I had no one I couldn't fear abandonment, couldn't fear having a part of me ripped out when they leave. I've worried that everyone would leave for about a year now, one person, someone very close to me, got distant, started getting close with other people, and essentially left, it felt like a part of me left with them, leaving a hole in me that won't go away, I don't know what I would have done then if I didn't have 4 other close friends for support. Now all 4 of those friends feel like they're getting distant, 2 got into relationships, one never responds to my messages despite the fact I see them talking to other people, and the last is just being distant. I really don't know what to do, I want to cut them all off before they can do the same to me, isolate myself from the world and never let anyone in again lest I get attached and they leave. I love people but my love always just leads to pain and a hollow feeling. What do you guys think I should do, I don't think I could handle talking to them about it, I can't let myself seem pushy, and I've tried to isolate myself many times before but I always cave after a couple days, if anyone has any suggestions on how to either bring it up to them or isolate myself I'd really appreciate it.